


The Facade of the Stable Boy

by at_kilis_service



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Deceit, Denial, Im an idiot so I deleted the original, Lies, M/M, Richard Brook - Freeform, gamekeeper, period au, so heres the repost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:10:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 45,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1449751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/at_kilis_service/pseuds/at_kilis_service
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Period!AU Early 1900's - In the alleyway just to the side and in the shadows a boy of barely 18 stood, watching as Sebastian retreated. A small, devilish smirk pulled at his lips. He would recognise those signs anywhere: Sebastian Moran was in trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at a Period!AU so go easy on me! And as much as I hate saying this.. Comments and criticism would be appreciated. Constructive criticism, though...
> 
> Hasn't been Beta'd, and not as long as I wanted it to be.
> 
> Chapter 2 next Friday if this gets good response!

**_Sebastian_ **

Everything about this situation screamed  _run away_.

Well, perhaps that was a tad over dramatic, but it wasn't far off.

The initial announcement that his parents were leaving the country for close to half a year, followed by the frankly ridiculous concept that Sebastian should look after the family home, had panicked nearly every person within the Moran manor. It was ridiculous. Unfeasible. Incomprehensible.

It wasn't that he wasn't sensible - in fact, in a number of ways he was the perfect gentleman - it was more the fact that he was young, and completely inexperienced. He had a different way of working to his father and a different demeanour to his mother. Although he was efficient and no doubt charming, the pieces of his puzzle just didn't quite fit together in a way deemed traditional. For example, it was no mystery that Sebastian's interest for shooting lay at a depth far too deep for most men of his age and intelligence, and it had also rapidly become clear that the youngest Moran was certainly not shy when it came to flirting to get what he wanted. Overall, the news was a cause for worry as far as the nearby town and the inhabitants of the manor itself were concerned.

Yet there he stood, on his doorstep with a glass in hand and a forced smile on his lips as he watched the last of the exhaust fumes from the motor car slowly evaporate into the air. He waited and waited, listening for any sign that his parents had seen sense and turned back, or that this was all just some practical joke and they weren't leaving their 18 year old son in charge of the house, the grounds, and every member of staff that came with it.

But there was nothing.  No sound of a whirring motor. No puff of black smoke. Simply silence.

Sebastian stood in the cold air for something close to half an hour, staring at the gravel that made up the driveway at the bottom of the steps in front of him.

"Sir..?" A voice came from behind him. He visibly breathed in, turning his head towards the offending noise. "Is there anything you need?"

"Fetch my cigarettes." He answered simply after a few moments, taking a deep breath in again as he looked around. The cold was visible in the undisturbed beds of frost resting on the acres of land that spanned out around the Moran manor, making the fields look white, and in the thick clouds of white that flowed out with every breath Sebastian took. It was too close to Christmas, he observed, before eventually turning to walk back inside, allowing the butler to close the door behind him.

From there, the afternoon was more or less routine

Lunch was uneventful, although certainly much quieter than it usually was. Afternoon tea followed a few hours later, although it was safe to assume that there was more tea than food consumed. An hour or so in the drawing room followed swiftly after, and he spent the time reading through his father's journals. Dinner time rolled around, more time spent eating alone aside from the few servants, and then finally he retired to the living room, settling by the fire that was roaring away in front of him.

Boredom. That's what was going to kill him. Pure, mind numbing boredom. It wouldn't be the stress, or being run off his feet... no, it would be the idleness. The constant sitting around that came with being Lord of a manor with servants to do everything but breathe and eat for you. The most frustrating part about it was that most of the more middle class townsfolk would frown upon him if he ever took any matters into his own hands, and the last thing he wanted was to dent his father's near spotless reputation before he returned home.

Not this soon, at least.

Which was why, when the living room door burst open, hitting the wall hard and even flaying some paint, Sebastian's first calculated reaction was to snap at the servant responsible, despite his instinct wanting to immediately find out what had been the cause of this outburst.

"What are you, an idiot?!" Sebastian growled as he shot up from his chair, looming over the teenager.

"N-No, sir!" He blurted, instantly shaking in fear. "It's... It's T-Thomas, sir! The stable boy."

Sebastian kept the glare on his face, not a hard feat considering he despised when the servants babbled.

"Well. Spit it out." He snarled.

"He's dead, sir..."

Sebastian's glare immediately fell. Dead...

Day one and someone had already died. What would his parents say? He took a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair.  _Priorities Sebastian_ he thought to himself. There was a boy lying dead within his grounds, meaning Sebastian was required to deal with it; at least, that's what his father had taught him. Taking a deep, steadier breath this time, he turned back to the servant.

"What happened?" He asked, voice coming out significantly stronger than he'd expected.

"He was trampled, m'lord... a mutt from town got in an' startled 'em; The horses, I mean." The servant explained, looking more and more pale by the second. "I-I didn't know wha' to do, sir..."

Sebastian hesitantly nodded, before moving to go and get his coat, quickly pulling it on in one round swing.

"Take me to him." He ordered, moving to the door where the butler already stood, holding it open. Nodding frantically, the servant rapidly moved out and towards the stables. Sebastian, adrenaline running high, followed swiftly afterwards.

 

\-----

Sebastian ran a hand through his blonde, now completely disorganised hair in distress; a habit picked up from his mother. He inhaled the deepest breath he could in an attempt at steadying himself, before kneeling down carefully next to the corpse before him.

The sight was turning his stomach. The grass around the boy had been coated in red, even with most of it having already seeped into the soil. In the few places skin hadn't broken there was clear, deep bruising, some curved in an almost perfect representation of the hooves that had trampled him. To make matters worse, his eyes were wide open in what had probably been fear, although there was nothing of the sort behind them now.

Poor boy. He wasn't any older than 15. Fairly intelligent from what he'd picked up... well, for a stable boy. No family, as far as Sebastian was aware. Part of him wondered if that was the only reason his parent's had ever hired him in the first place; there was no chance of him really having to leave before he was 18.

Sebastian reached out, turning the boy's head a little to check the cause of death really was what it appeared to be. He was no stranger to corruption. The physical trauma would be the obvious cause, of course, and Sebastian was hardly an expert, but he'd done a small amount of medical training during school.

"Blow to the head..?" he asked himself quietly, practically whispering, "Blood loss...?"

It took a few minutes and a sighting of the blood dripping down the alternate, not quite as visible side of the boy's cheek that suggested he might have choked on his own blood. After that, he was lost. He had no idea of the signs of asphyxiation, but as far as he was concerned, the signs pointed purely to an accident - with the exception of the possibility that the dog had been let in.

Sebastian got to his feet slowly, brushing his fingers over his knees to wipe the blades of grass off and back to the ground. He let out a deep breath, and turned to look at the servant.

"Accident" Sebastian announced simply to begin with. "And not one I want getting out to the press, understood?"

A firm nod and a shaky 'Yes, M'lord' and he was swiftly on his way back to the house, risking his head by leaving without permission. Sebastian, however, just watched him leave with the slightest hint of sympathy and then looked back down at the body, far too many thoughts spinning around his mind to be coherent.

What if this got out? His parents would be called back immediately to deal with the press and the paperwork, and he'd never be trusted to look after the manor again. It would go to his slimy brother. But then, what else was he supposed to do? The boy deserved more than to be just chucked into the river; maybe he should bury him?

Yes. That's what he had to do. Then find someone else. Someone similar. Dark haired, young, fairly attractive...

No. No! Stop. What was he thinking?

Inhaling another deep, reluctant sounding breath, Sebastian moved towards the stables. A few of the staff were calming the horses and getting them back to their stalls, most of them too busy to notice when Sebastian snuck in and quickly grabbed a blanket from the cupboard.

Trying to ignore the part of his mind screaming at him to run, he sped back to the corpse with shaking limbs, and laid it beside the boy. It was a bit of a struggle, but soon enough, the boy was on the blanket, and Sebastian had wrapped him up in it.

Now, where to bury him; Sebastian looked around, eyes falling upon a spot beneath a tree fairly out of the way.

-.-.-

The sickness still lingered in Sebastian's throat. He kept looking to his hands, expecting them to be coated in blood, but what alarmed him the most was what exactly was scaring him.

Not the fact that he'd just buried a dead body.

Not the fact that he was hiding said dead body from the authorities.

It was the fact that it could've cost his family their reputation. That he would've disappointed his parents, and betrayed his name by doing so.

So, as planned, he wrote an advertisement. A few copies, all with the same words written clearly.

Wanted: Servant. Male, Dark hair. Small build, no problem with working outside. Report to Moran Manor at 9am Saturday.

This led him to where he was stood at that exact moment.

At the late hour, he knew it was quite close to being insane to go out into the towns, especially when nearly every man or woman in town knew his face, and that his parents were away. He knew of a fair few people that would like to see him dead and buried if they had the choice, all of whom were willing to do the dirty work themselves.

Yet, there he stood.

Lifting a trembling hand, he pinned the final note to the post in front of him. He hesitated for a moment, wondering just how obvious this note was. Running his hand over his mouth, he swallowed back the first signs of vomit, and quickly pinned the bottom, before turning and heading to the manor, unaware of the eyes watching him.

In the alleyway just to the side and in the shadows a boy of barely 18 stood, watching as Sebastian retreated. A small, devilish smirk pulled at his lips. He would recognise those signs anywhere. Sebastian Moran was in trouble.

With slow, calculated steps, he stepped into the moonlight, moving to read over the note.

_Perfect._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sebastian meet for the first time. Sebastian is jumpy and Jim knows how to play his cards right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :) So this is a couple of hours late... But it's been a busy week! I should be able to write more once the story really kicks off!  
> Again, Comments and kudos appreciated - They really make my day! Every one puts a smile on my face :3  
> Thank you!  
> Oh, and again: It hasn't been Beta'd, so if you spot anything, let me know!

**_Jim_ **

Cold. That was all he could focus on. England was bitterly, painfully cold.

It was the kind of cold that seeped deep into your bones, chilling you from the inside out. The kind of cold that left you feeling numb yet in pain in the same breath. The kind that made you feel like you'd never be warm again.

Jim knew moving near London was never going to be comfortable, but this was close to ridiculous. Compared to Ireland, this place was hell frozen over. It was disgusting, busy, and full of smoke and he simply  _despised_  the dirt. Ireland was different. It was, in some ways, just as cold and busy and dirty, but in a way that Jim had fallen in love with quickly. Where he had lived was muddy, of course - There weren't many places within Europe that one could visit without finding mud - but Ireland was... well, beautiful. The wind was cold, but cut up by hills. The towns and villages were smaller in comparison, but built in such a way that everywhere always felt busy, even with the smaller population. In short, Jim missed it.

But even in the worst of situations, Jim had always been a lucky one. In fact, it appeared that London had only proven to help it increase, as it was on only his second day that his eyes fell on the man before him. The nervous, twitching man who looked far too pale, even more so in the moonlight.

Sebastian Moran. Of course he knew about him. His family were one of the original Gentry. Of those who were /born/ into money. Jim's lips fell from the grin for a moment as he pursed them, reading over the note a second time. It was perfect... almost too perfect... From the description of the looks, to the simple fact Jim loved horses. It was almost tailor made.

Despite his hesitations, he turned on his heels, spotting the man just at the end of the road. In barely a second he had pulled on a nervous demeanour, weakened his Irish accent to become more typical of a London commoner, and he was running after him.

"Sir! Sir!"

Jim let out a relieved breath when Sebastian turned around - only partially faked - and had to fight back a snort at the look of fear and surprise on this man's face that, if he was perfectly honest, didn't suit him much at all.

"What?" Sebastian asked, perhaps a little too snappily and Jim had to quickly hide the pleasantly surprised expression.

"I... I saw y'note, sir.." He answered, letting out a breath as he came to a stop in front of Sebastian. "I... I wan'ed to apply.."

For a brief moment, it almost looked as though Sebastian would consider it, even this early on. His sharp blue eyes seemed to be running over Jim's form as if analyzing something. The question was; what?

"Stop by on Saturday like the rest of the applicants." Sebastian answered eventually, turning to head off again.  _What? No!_ Jim let a look of panic appear on his face, and he reached out before he could stop himself, grabbing Sebastian's sleeve and momentarily forgetting the place he was supposed to hold in society.

"M'lord, please..."

Sebastian swung back around, hand clenched in a fist that collided with Jim's eye.

The boy stumbled back, moving his hand up to it in reflex. His look of surprise was far more realistic than he'd ever intended this act to be, especially when he felt the blood under his fingers. It took a few moments, but eventually he morphed the surprise to fear.

"Oh God... I'm so sorry." Sebastian stammered, trying to move forward to check Jim over. The boy's eyebrow had split and a flow of blood was trickling steadily from the wound, down the side of his face and into the first signs of stubble growing there. It fucking hurt, but this was far too perfect to pass up.

"I.. I just.. I w-would've worked for n-nothing..." Jim ultimately stuttered as his eyes brimmed with tears, staying a safe distance away. "Jus'a place to stay and dinner each evenin'"

It rapidly became clear that Sebastian was beginning to panic. His pupils had dilated and his breathing was more shallow than it really should've been, yet there was still something knitted in the furrow of his eyebrows that told Jim he had to tread carefully.

"Come back to the Manor. I'll personally see to that for you. How about a bath? I can get one of the servants to run the water while I work. You look simply freezing out here... A warm bath and a bed for the night" Sebastian offered eventually. After all, he  _was_  a gentleman.

Had it been a little warmer and had his eyebrow been hurting a little less, Jim probably would've decided to drag this out, but it was evident that he more or less had Sebastian hooked around his little finger already. In the end, he nodded a bit, slowly stepping forward, but kept the nervous demeanour, tugging and picking at his own sleeves.

"What's your name?" Sebastian asked, putting an arm around Jim's shoulders, leading him towards his home. Jim's hesitation lasted two seconds exactly.

"Brook, Sir. Richard Brook..."

Â 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Â 

The walk itself was shorter than Jim had anticipated, but it gave him a fairly informative tour of the village; well, the upper class part, at least. Jim couldn't help but think that things here just seemed /bigger/. It was slightly intimidating, even for him. As they reached Sebastian's Manor, however, well. Jim was no stranger to Manors in some respects, but this was huge. More than he'd been expecting of a little coastal town.

The Manor itself was something from a storybook. It had the rustic look of a country cottage and a size not too far from Buckingham Palace. Surrounding the house were hundreds of trees, all of different greens and yellows, and a collection of plants were beginning to grow now that spring was approaching. Then there was the stream... the stream that looked so much like the one near his own home in Ireland that it almost made him sick with nostalgia.

"I-Is this your... Your castle, M'lord?" Jim asked to distract himself, playing on the uneducated and naive persona yet again. "It looks like a castle. Are you a prince?"

He was making himself feel sick, but the innocence and the indirect flattery seemed to be working in his favour. Sebastian's lips quirked the slightest bit, and Jim knew he was in.

"I'm not a prince, no." Sebastian answered, glancing to Jim. "In fact, this isn't even my Manor... At least, not yet."

"Sorry m'lord...? I don't understand..."

"It's my parents Manor... Well, my fa-." Sebastian explained, before quickly cutting himself off, realising he shouldn't be revealing this - especially if Jim was a potential servant.

"Then... Why are you looking after it?" Jim probed after Sebastian fell silent.

"Enough questions." Sebastian snapped sharply, tone commanding in a way that most certainly didn't agree with Jim.

Jim made a split-second decision. He needed to bring that control back that he'd had before, and to do so he quickly threw in a calculated stumble that caused him to fall forward and straight into the mud. After letting out a 'surprised' shout as he hit the wet mud, he had only just heard Sebastian swearing under his breath, but he couldn't be sure.

He curled up his nose as he realised was caked in mud. It was wet, and almost sticky and if there was one thing Jim hated, it was getting his hands dirty. In fact, he barely noticed the following apology.

"I'm sorry.." Sebastian sighed as he bent down to help him up, barely noticing the state of his own trousers. They weren't pleasant, to say the least.

Jim, of course, resisted the touch and tried to get up by his own means. This time, he really did slip but just about managed to keep his face from hitting the dirt. A whimper escaped him as he slowly crawled to his feet, looking down at the state of his front. He'd never been so thankful for extra layers in his life.

"M'fine, sir..." Jim murmured miserably, lifting a messy wrist to rub his nose. "Jus' made me jump.." He added by way of an explanation, stepping back again when Sebastian went to help him. This time, however, he added something close to a dizzy stagger and tried his best to depict feeling feint. He even allowed it when those a strong arm went around his middle and led him to the graveled path and up towards the Manor, leaving a trail of mud behind them.

Even as they ventured inside, Jim's act continued. He tripped, let out small, pained noises, and even just held his breath before letting it out in a rush. They were all such simple acts, yet by the time Sebastian had sat Jim down in the spare living space, the boy knew he had his control of the situation restored.

"Wait there." Sebastian ordered, moving to push the heavy door open again and run to find his butler. He didn't bother waiting around, in too much of a predicament to risk it.

Jim kept the act up for a few more seconds just to be safe but it wasn't long before he let it fall to take a proper look around. He silently got to his feet and began wandering around. He knew there was a risk of treading mud into the carpet, but he knew perfectly well that nothing in here was of a decent enough value that it couldn't just be cleaned. The wander took him to the mantelpiece above the fireplace - hadn't been lit in a while, he noticed - and he looked over what was there. Sat on the marble were two candlesticks of a fairly ornate but fake design, as well as a collection of what looked like drawings with 'SM' scrawled in the corner; Sebastian's, maybe? Above the mantelpiece sat a large mirror that reflected the entire room, dwarfing Jim against the background.

The boy looked a fright. His hair sat in a muddy, dirt ridden mess on the top of his head. Blood was drying on the side of his face, making it extremely uncomfortable to so much as move and it had recently come to his attention just how much his head was throbbing. He heard the door behind him, but he was a little too busy lifting a hand to his forehead, pressing his cold fingertips to the wound. He hissed, moving instantly and glanced in the reflection to check that it was Sebastian.

"I-Is all that blood mine?" Jim asked when he was sure, voice coming out in barely a squeak as he brushed his fingers down the trail. He swallowed thickly, and did his best to look as sick as he could.  _Okay Jim, you can do this. You've seen your Ma feint so many times._  He leaned his body to the side a little until the angle became a little too much and his feet stumbled. Jim's hands shot forward and grabbed a hold of the mantelpiece, steadying himself with a grunt in what he hoped came across as pain.

Sebastian was over in an instant.

Perfect. That in itself was enough proof. Enough proof to prove that Jim was in there. He had Sebastian wrapped around his finger, and he'd have the job in no time.

"Deep breath" Sebastian ordered in a slightly more gentle tone, resting a hand on Jim's back. The boy let out a pathetic sounding whimper and appeared to try and straighten up. Another small stagger and... Jim rolled his eyes back, letting them close as he cut off signal to his legs, falling back heavily onto Sebastian. He was completely limp in the older man's arms. Sebastian really did swear this time, tucking his free arm under Jim's legs, and lifted him up.

 

-.-.-.-

 

The following events did nothing but relax Jim, and further prove to him that he really would be going nowhere on Saturday if he milked this just a little longer.

After lifting him up, Sebastian had proceeded to carry Jim to the sofa again, laying him down and tucking pillows under his head to support it. Those same warm, calloused hands pressed against his forehead. Jim could've sworn he heard faint counting but it was gone almost as soon as it started and the fingers pulled back. It was a few moments of silence followed by another few moments of commotion that followed and as the silence fell the second time, Jim's face was being cleaned and the cut was being seen to.

Even with the rough feel of Sebastian's fingertips, he was nothing but gentle. The cut didn't need stitches but after a fair few careful and short movements with an antiseptic wipe, he had cleaned the wound and successfully dried it without causing more bleeding. Face and wound clean, Sebastian then placed the plaster over the top, before standing and leaving the room.

Eyelids fluttering open in confusion, Jim lifted his hand to the plaster and brushed his fingers over it. He smiled a bit to himself. Sebastian really had done it himself. He'd expected a servant; probably a woman. But no. It had been his Lord's own hands that had cleaned and patched the wound.

The surprise at this act was unfortunately short-lived.

The door opened suddenly and Jim dropped his hand and closed his eyes. With no clue whom it was that had entered, he had to stay pliant, even as he was lifted. The only help he really gave was when he rolled his head towards the body, resting it against the figure's body.

Everything that followed was significantly less relaxing. When he was laid down on a bed, there were suddenly two pairs of hands on him, undressing him to his undergarments, before redressing him in clothing that smelt entirely of Sebastian. The smell was rapidly masked as a blanket was pulled up and over him. A warm, thick blanket, and  _oh._  As the end of the blanket lifted, Jim very nearly flinched, but before long, something warm was placed there instead. The warmth spread up the blanket, and before long every muscle in his body had relaxed, and he sighed in content, smiling as he snuggled against the mattress.

Warm and comfortable. That was all he could focus on. This bed was beautifully warm, and astonishingly comfortable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interviews for the new stable boy don't go quite the way anyone expected, but could that be for the better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I've had some.. fairly good response so far, but if you could all spread the word, that'd be great! A comment a day makes me smile ;D And Kudos too!!!
> 
> PS. Hasn't been Beta'd and I know I say Friday Uploads, but I wanted this one up quickly! Should be one Friday, too!

_**Sebastian** _

 

Sebastian hadn't slept the previous night. Or the night following that. In fact, he'd barely done anything within his normal routine. He'd skipped breakfast and gone out for a run around his field, leaving the servants to help Jim, or 'Richard' as he was known, in and out of the bath, and had only come back to further tell one of the maids that 'Richard' was to be served breakfast, then set something to do to occupy him for the day. That was it. Nothing more.

His instinct told him to treat Jim as a guest; someone important that was visiting from some distant town or country that his parents were highly fond of. But another part of him was screaming that he shouldn't treat him overly well. If he _did_  turn out to be the best option for stable boy, then giving him a life of luxury to then go straight down to living in the stables just didn't seem morally right. Especially if Jim was as quickly accustomed to this life as some of the servants he'd hired before.

He and Jim hadn't had much contact since that night. Not until the Saturday of the interviews that, true to his word, Sebastian made Jim line up for. Overall, there were a fair few applicants; 20 or 30 if he'd really bothered to count. At least 7 were blonde, and a few were quite stocky, not skinny as he'd asked which helped to whittle down the number to just 13 before they'd even began.

Sebastian had never been so thankful.

By the sixth interview, he was bored to tears. In fact, he was barely listening anymore. Some of them were a perfect fit looks wise, but upon being asked the questions about horses, many of them turned their noses up. Others were enthusiastic, but didn't know much, or didn't quite fit the looks. Then there was the fact that Sebastian had to enjoy their company. Of course, it would only be for the few minutes before and after a ride, but nonetheless it was a requirement he needed to fill.

"Tell me again, Mr Jeffereys... How many horses have you tacked?" Sebastian asked, leaning his chin on his hand, hovering the pen over the paper before him. The man in question was sat in the armchair opposite, fiddling with his worn down hat and looking around the room as though he was pricing up it's contents.

 _Chance of thievery_  Sebastian wrote quickly, then glanced up.

"Two, M'lord..." He answeed, nodding a little. "One with m' Pa when I were a lad, and one when I were twenty four." He answered. "Bu' I remem'er 'ow like the back of me hand, sir."

"Mm..." Sebastian answered quietly, glancing to the question sheet. "And... What is it about this job that made you want to apply?"

"Oh, I love 'orses, I do." The man answered, nodding a little and grinning as though Sebastian had just given him the key to a room full of gold. Rehearsed answer, then. "Ever since I were a lad, I've been ridin' and workin' with 'orses. I love 'em, sir. Like me own flesh an' blood."

"You said you've only tacked a horse twice.." Sebastian pointed out, smirking a little as he sat up a little straighter. The man blanched.

"I.. I 'ave.. but... but y'see... Me Pa used to tack them for me... and now'days the... the other stable 'elp does... More ef-eff-..ef..."

"Efficient." Sebastian drawled.

"Yeh. 'fficient."

Sebastian sighed, looking down at the paper with a grand total of 12 words written clearly.

_Stammers, boring, doesn't like horses, chance of thievery, cant tack a horse._

He licked his lip, then looked back to Mr Jeffereys.

"As much as it would be a... pleasure to have you here, Mr Jeffereys... I can't hire a man who not only can't do his job, but has also been pricing up the contents of my mantelpiece as though he would have a shot at stealing them anyway. Thank you for your time, but I'm afraid it's a no." He smiled tightly, before nodding to the butler.

He moved over, and took Mr Jeffereys by the arm, turning to escort him out.

"Bu-Buh.. But Sir! I.. I need this job!"

"As does every other idiot who applied." He sighed, waving him off. He waited until he heard the front door and the butler returned, before nodding at him to invite the next person in.

This person seemed a little more like what he'd asked for. Small, almost child-like in looks, dark hair and dark eyes...

"Hello, sir.." The boy greeted, giving a small little bow. "I'm.. I'm Thomas Greene, sir."

"Hello, Thomas. Take a seat." Sebastian greeted, motioning towards the armchair with a smile. He really was barely of age... "Let's start simple, shall we? Where are you from?"

"Oh, just in town, sir." He answered, sounding better spoken than the others. "It's just me dad and me, though. Me mam died with I was tiny... We used to run the town stables but dad couldn't cope on his own and I wasn't old enough to help all by myself.." He explained.

Sebastian smiled almost sadly and nodded. "Yes... I remember those stables... As far as I know they're in good hands now, though. Lord Jenkins is a good man." He answered softly, before quickly noting down that the boy had experience. "So... Why did you want to take up this job?"

"I admit, sir... It's the only skill I really have, so it was the perfect job." He answered. "And my family need the money, as horrible as I sound saying that, sir..."

Sebastian hesitated again, trying to work out how to answer and whether he liked what the boy had said. It took a few moments, but eventually he wrote  _Family in trouble_.

"Don't apologise. It's a perfectly acceptable reason. Thank you for being truthful... How about horses in general? Why do you like them so much?" He smiled.

Thomas' face lit up at that question, and a very real and very adorable grin broke out on his face.

"Oh gosh, where do I start... Me mam used to take me out on the horses when I was little at my Grandfathers farm. It was... Gosh, I loved it." He giggled. "I used to help shoe them - well, watch... - and I used to help saddle them, and I even had a pony of my own!"

Sebastian could help but smile and chuckle, writing his final note on the paper.

_Perfect fit._

He looked up at Thomas again. "Well, Thomas... What can I say? You fit every criteria."

Thomas looked a little worried for a moment. "A-After only three questions, sir?"

Sebastian smiled and nodded. "Yes, after only three questions. In fact, I think I may offer you the job." He smiled, tilting his head curiously. "Would you like that?"

Thomas gasped slightly as he stood up, giggling slightly before he caught himself. He cleared his throat, and nodded. "Y-Yes my lord. Very much so... I would love it!" He promised with a bright smile.

Sebastian smiled softly at him and nodded. "Very well. Get home and let your parents know, then return here Monday morning with your things and the same enthusiasm you had today." He said, standing and holding his hand out.

The boy nodded, moving to him and shaking his hand firmly. "Thank you, sir! Thank you!" He grinned, bowing as he let go.

Sebastian nodded with a final smile, watching the butler escort the 15 year old out. He sighed to himself, setting the notebook down, wandering to get a glass of scotch. He didn't even look up when he heard the door.

"You can send the others home... Tell them the quota has been filled."

"M'lord..." A voice came... Not his butler. Sebastian licked his lip, then turned around, spotting Richard by the door. "I..." He started, trying to work out where to continue. "I assume I can't have an interview..?"

Sebastian's lips parted as realisation hit, and he bit his bottom lip, before sighing.

"I've already given the job..." He said sternly, trying to hide any sympathy or regret he might be feeling. The boy standing before him was perfect looks wise, but he hadn't seemed fit enough, anyway... Not with the level of stumbling the night they'd met.

"Oh..." Jim's voice came quietly. "I-I... I understand. But... if it's not too much trouble, sir, could I... could we do an interview anyway? And you can tell me where I'm going wrong for the next time I get one."

Sebastian's eyes flicked to the clock sitting on the wall, trying to work out if he had the time. Wait... What? Of course he had the time. He had nothing  _but_  time.

"I can't see why not." He murmured, motioning to the chair the previous interviewees had sat in. He moved back to his own chair and settled with his notepad, sipping his drink. He looked up, nearly choking on the drink.

Just in a change of posture, the timid and nervous boy he'd met a few nights previous was appearing to be confident, and anything but intimidated.

"Afternoon... We'll start with a simple question... Why do you think this job is right for you?" Sebastian asked, composing himself and tilting his head as he looked over at Richard. The boy licked his lip, then looked up at Sebastian.

"Why is it right for me? Well, I don't think it is, sir" Jim answered, gaining a surprised and almost confused look from his interviewer. "Y'see, I believe that this job was  _made_  for me. Course, I fit every quota listed on the notice, but it's more than that, isn't it? See... My experience with horses, and anything equestrian really, goes back to the age o' 14, sir. Only four years, I know, but it's the enrichment, not the time span." He murmured, smirking a bit. "I owned a horse... Blackjack. Typical name, but 'e was gorgeous... Truly beau'iful. He.. He got put down when he was 12... went rampant. After that I didn't go near a horse until I got to London... Found one in a field and took it to the nearest stable... then saw your note... Sir, I understand you've given the job, I do... but I think this job was right for me because it was my opportunity to get used to Horses again."

The following silence hung in the air.

Sebastian wasn't sure whether to cry, kick Jim out or just let the silence hang. In the end, it was neither. Instead, he proceeded to make a tit of himself.

"Perhaps... In an actual interview you should keep it short and simple. They don't want to hear your sob story, Richard, and I don't either. I apologise that you weren't able to get the job, but Thomas was perfect for it. Your love for horses is admirable, really, but perhaps try the stables in town." Sebastian answered bluntly as he got to his feet. "Now, collect your things..."

"I don't have any things, sir." Jim answered simply, standing up and keeping his dignity as he turned to the door. When the butler went to usher him out, Jim shot him a glare that sent a shiver through even Sebastian. However, even through the glare... something wasn't right.

But it was too late. He'd said it, and Richard was going. Richard Brook... the boy he'd punched, ignored and then brushed off without so much as a second thought...

Fuck.

_How could I be so fucking stupid?! My father would never do this! He would've given them all a fair chance, no questions asked. Crap... and Thomas is so young! It's not like he can do the job alone. Maybe he could do with the help... but Christ, Richard isn't going to come back, is he? He's pissed, and upset, and probably going to move on to better things._

It had been fifteen minutes he noticed, before he had finally moved. He couldn't just... let him go, even if it was just to protect his own moral dignity. It just didn't seem right. Well, maybe he could just clean the stables?

Groaning to himself, Sebastian took off in a sprint out of the Manor for the second time that week, and headed after the figure just disappearing off in the distance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's first day at work, and it's safe to say he isn't a fan of his new colleague

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I think it's safe to say that this is the first fanfic I've ever kept up with posting..   
> Anyway! Thank you so much for the response so far, but being the greedy teen I am... I need more ;D   
> Comments and Kudos appreciated, and if you want to share it, I will love you forever :3
> 
> Thank you dearies! Also, normal posting will resume on Friday as I have exams on Wednesday so I wont have the chance to post... Sorry!

_**Jim** _

Jim was fairly positive he had never been so bloody angry in all his life, and it was only the first day.

This was ridiculous.  _Humiliating._  That... That  _child_  got the job over him. That short, skinny, snivelling child got the job he'd wanted and what was he left with? Cleaning the crap from the stables and washing what  _Thomas_ couldn't reach.

Jim was close to saying 'fuck it' and just leaving.

He could find a better and much more interesting job than this. Everyone had secrets, and the supposed secret this man had was probably something stupid. Something like... He'd got into debt and had to give them the old stable boy. Or, he'd made the boy leave and had to find a new one, or...

_Or there was a murder, and he was covering it up._

Jim shook his head briefly. What were the chances?

Well, quite high, apparently. If he was reading the signs correctly, that is. Nervous twitching, constant looking around as though someone was watching him, the sudden need for a stable boy that matched an exact description, and he just happened to have an entire wardrobe worth of clothes that fit the job completely just on hand to give to Jim.

This was what he should've been focusing on. Screw this stupid job. There was nothing for him to do, anyway. He needed to focus on what he was good at. Committing crime, and spotting it.

Growing far too bored of the same dreary brown of the wood of the stable after only a few hours of working in it, Jim got to his feet.

"Tommy, darling." He cooed suddenly, moving over to him with an almost predatory smirk on his lips. "Fancy covering for me while I go for a walk? You look like you're perfectly capable of handling this." He smiled almost  _too_ sweetly, brushing his fingers teasingly down Thomas' shoulder and upper arm.

The younger boy immediately froze at the light touches, cheeks flushing as he nodded quickly in agreement and shied away from the touch.

Jim smirked triumphantly. Easy.

"Good boy." He murmured as he moved his hand to ruffle his hair as he turned to leave.

"But, Richard! Wh-What if... if Sir comes down?" The boy stammered.

Jim couldn't help but roll his eyes at that and sighed, turning on his heels to face him again. "Tell him I'm in the bathroom." He answered. "Or that I've gone to fetch some dry wood because it is disgustingly freezing in here."

"Y-Yes.... Okayâ€¦" Thomas stammered, although it was obvious that he wasn't all that happy about it. He worried his bottom lip a little and then turned back to brushing down one of the smaller horses. Jim took that as his cue to leave, making his exit as swiftly as possible.

It was freezing again today, but Sebastian had provided Jim with some warmer clothes - quite clearly belonging to an ex-servant - and with that came a lined jacket and a pair of fingerless gloves which he'd grown to appreciate more than he thought he ever could. With his hands resting in his pockets anyway, he started to walk along the small gravel path leading down towards the small stream.

If there was one thing Jim could compliment the Manor on, it was the grounds. He hadn't had much of a tour as such, but what he had seen was beautiful. Even in the wet weather they'd been cursed with, the entirety of the grounds were still alight with something he couldn't quite place. The grass was a healthy green and although the trees were losing their leaves, they provided an almost fairytale-esque look to the entire place. It was breathtaking, it really was.

About halfway, Jim switched from the path to the grass, watching his feet as he walked, listening to the frost crunching every time he stepped. He glanced around, watching the few birds that had stayed for the winter flying above his head and for the first time in a long time, longer than he cared to admit, he let a small but real smile spread slowly across his lips as he looked up to watch them.

It reminded him of home and for a moment he almost let himself feel homesick. It was something he quickly shook himself out of, before focusing quickly.

Murder... signs of a murder. What on earth was he looking for?

He rubbed his nose a little with a gloved hand and then continued towards a group of trees, wondering if maybe there was something there. Jim had no clue what he expected to find. It was unlikely he'd just happen to stumble across a corpse or a bloodied dagger. In fact, it was near impossible. This man was important. With a click of his fingers he could probably make anything disappear just to protect his precious family name.

Jim was close to giving in for the evening, nose and cheeks flushed red from the cold when he spotted upturned dirt not too far off.

The sign had been so unexpected that he froze for a moment, not entirely sure he was really seeing this. His tongue darted out to brush along his lip, and he went to take another step.

"RICHARD!"

The boy swore under his breath, turning on his heels to look at the 6ft man moving towards him looking exceedingly unhappy.

"Y-Yes, M'ord?" He stammered, shifting as easily into his Richard Brook persona as any other person would breathe air.

"Why aren't you in the stable?" Sebastian demanded to know, towering over Jim as he moved over. He'd look simply angry to anyone else, but Jim could see the desperation behind his eyes.

"Thomas was coping well, sir. There was nothing for me t'do so I wen' to look for wood, m'lord" He answered quickly, keeping the story as close to what he'd told the younger boy as possible.

Sebastian seemed to accept the story, but it didn't stop him from grabbing Jim's arm and pulling him towards the stables again.

 

"You're not to wander the grounds without permission, understood? They're vast, and you /will/ get lost, and I don't have the time to look for snivelling stable boys who can't do their job correctly." He snapped harshly.

Jim nodded frantically, shaking a little as he stayed silent.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Sebastian finally shouted, stopping to lean close to Jim's face.

This time, Jim didn't have to pretend. All of this had been so unexpected that his reaction was suddenly very real and he shrunk back, closing his eyes and whimpering quietly. His entire body had started to tremble, half expecting to be hit again, but when the hit didn't come, he eventually answered.

"Yes!" Jim blurted desperately. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir"

Sebastian didn't give any form of reaction, and just shoved him towards the stables. Jim stumbled in, falling to the floor and scraping his hands on the rough stone floor.

Thomas looked up, before freezing and stumbling back a little, looking up at Sebastian.

"Good Evening, sir!" He answered. "Is there something I can do for you? Saddle one of the horses?"

Sebastian shook his head. "No, that's all for tonight Thomas." He answered softly to the boy with a small, barely there smile. "You can turn in for the night. I just came down to show you two to your quarters."

Jim slowly got to his feet, more or less ignoring the stinging and the blood on his palms, and nodded obediently, just following as Sebastian started to walk with long, calculated paces.

The first room they arrived at was not the best, but it was cozy. It was small, with a bed, a desk, and an oil lamp on the table, as well as warm sheets and what looked like a good collection of writing equipment. There was a wardrobe in the corner, and a carpet on the floor, and Jim thought for a moment that he could get used to this should he need to.

"Thomas, this is your room." Sebastian announced, and Jim's small smile fell. He managed to keep his expression fairly neutral, blocking out the rest of the short conversation.

Thomas. Thomas was getting the better room, and the better job. This really wasn't going to plan, and Jim hated it when things didn't happen the way he wanted. He was only snapped out of his thoughts when he felt that large hand around his upper arm again, pulling him out of the room. He took him to a door, then opened it and led him down a set of stairs before flicking on the electric, but dim light.

Jim couldn't help but curl up his nose.

 _These_  were his living quarters? For fuck sake.

The bed wasn't a bed at all. It was a worn down mattress on the floor and a thin, barely useable blanket over the top. There was only a single pillow, and the desk was too small to do much in the way of working.

"Where will I keep my clothes, sir?" Jim asked quietly, not sure whether he would like the answer.

"Keep... Keep them in a pile in the corner for now until we can find a spare wardrobe for you." He answered. Jim nodded a single time, standing with his hands crossed in front of him, and his head bowed.

Sebastian looked to the boy, and for a moment a flash of sympathy crossed his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, before eventually speaking.

"Get some sleep. I'll make sure you have some work to do tomorrow."

Jim bit the entirety of his bottom lip and just gave one polite nod, followed by a rough "Of course, sir" before he slowly moved to the mattress. Sebastian was already halfway up the stairs by the time Jim sat back on the mattress and it let out a whine in protest, followed by the sound of multiple springs giving way.

The boy pulled a face, but hid it from view as he looked down at his gloved hands.

This was cruel.

Sebastian had clothed him and cared for him when he'd injured him, but now? It was as though Jim was a pain in his backside. Which he supposed in some ways, he probably was. He was simply in the way. Another mouth to feed and another hand to pay for work that, frankly, Jim just wasn't doing, or planning to do. Not really.

"Thank you, sir." Jim said just as Sebastian reached the top of the stairs, and looked up to catch his eye. "For putting up with me.."

_Play on the heartstrings, Jim. It's something you're good at._

Sebastian looked back around at him, catching the boy's eye. It was silent for a while, and Jim was fairly sure he saw something close to remorse flicker across the eyes, accompanied by the smallest hint of sympathy. In the end, however, Sebastian just nodded his answer, and went up the final two steps and closed the door behind him.

Jim watched the dust float down from the ceiling as Sebastian walked on the floor above, following its path all the way to the floor, before eventually he turned and curled up on the mattress, trying to remind himself that not only could he be sleeping on a cold floor in the middle of town instead, but he could be lacking in any warm clothing, as supplied by his 'master'.

Yet, it didn't make it any better. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things just don't seem to be getting better for Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response so far! It's been great :)   
> If you guys who /do/ read it can spread it around, I'll be eternally and forever grateful!
> 
> ALSO big thank you to my friend Freshfail because she's awesome and helps me through these things when I'm stuck :) So yeah! OH and she's a brilliant writer and check out her Ao3 :)
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> As always, comments and Kudos appreciated! <3 xx

**_Jim_ **

****

_Burningâ€¦ Burning. So hot. Sweating. So much smokeâ€¦ so much smoke.._

 

_Suffocating._

 

_Gasp._

 

_Clamber upâ€¦ Fuck, ouchâ€¦ noâ€¦ have to get out._

 

_Mamaâ€¦ Daâ€¦Â_

_Flames... itâ€™s so bright, but so dark..._

_â€œJim!â€_

_â€œMama?â€_

_Running... Run..._

_Door... no door... no... no..._

-.-.-.-.-.-

 

â€œRichard!â€

 

Jim woke with a start and a scream, shooting up into a bolt upright position and looking around frantically.

 

It was then that he realised just how much of a state he was really in.

 

His shirt was clinging to his skin from the frankly disgusting level of sweat. His hair resembled the hay that he and Thomas cleaned daily â€“ before it was cleaned - and his skin was flushed pale and covered in tears as he panted heavily, trying to catch his breath.

 

His eyes finally fell on the figure beside him, frowning when he saw Thomas.

 

â€œWhat?!â€ Jim snapped harshly, scowling at the fact that someone had seen him in this state.

 

â€œI... I heard you screaming! I thought someone... someone was hurting you.â€

 

Jimâ€™s scowl fell for a moment as he looked to Thomas, letting a brief moment of regret wash over him for ever vowing to make this boyâ€™s life hell. He hadnâ€™t  _intended_  to make things difficult...

 

Luckily, it was only a brief moment before Jim shoved Thomas out of the way, getting shakily to his feet and moved to the small pile of clothes in the corner and quickly changed out of his clothes despite the younger boy still being in the room.

 

Although heâ€™d never been completely sure of his sexuality, he was almost one hundred percent positive that it was one that would have him shipped off to prison. Yet there he stood, undressing in front of someone who was hardly legal and most definitely male.

 

Thomasâ€™ cheeks had turned a brilliant shade of red as he realised that Jim was stripping. Heâ€™d managed to stand his ground for a short while, but as Jim worked on his underwear, he sped straight up the stairs.

 

â€œMaster Moran wants us to tack up the horses!â€ He blurted by way of explanation, not even stopping to listen out for a reply.

 

Jim smirked for a brief moment as he watched him go but he let it fall and soon the backlash from the nightmare finally began take over in a mess of gasped breaths and uncontrollable shaking.

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

The nightmares continued every night for the following weeks.

 

It was always the same â€“ memories of a small room. Dirty, flooded slightly with water. This was then lit up in a sudden burst of flames that licked at his skin and burned their way around the building. Jim would always wake up before he could find out the outcome, gasping for breath and covered in sweat and tears.

 

The lack of sleep was beginning to show, according to Thomas. Jim was so much more pale than was usually and a lot thinner - He swore blind that that was because of the limited food they were allowed, of course â€“ but by the second week it had gotten to the point where he was physically ill. Not only was he thin and pale, but he was throwing up what he did eat, and suffered with excruciating headaches most days.

 

Sebastian didnâ€™t notice.

 

In fact, his treatment of Jim was getting worse. The jobs were more strenuous or disgusting, especially with Jimâ€™s health, and heâ€™d obtained a fair few bruises from a shove that had been carelessly too hard, or a slightly wrong angled grab at his wrist. Each time Jim had kept a straight face, and just got back to work â€“ at least he had somewhere to stay, right?

 

Throughout those days all Jim had heard from the servants heâ€™d met was praise for Sebastian, and each time heâ€™d just hum and nod before returning obediently to his job, figuring they just didnâ€™t want the same treatment that Jim was getting.

 

It was on the 16th day of work that someone finally approached him not only about his health, but also with a hint towards the truth of the situation.

 

Heâ€™d been sent on an errand to collect any spare food from the kitchens with the extra order to then sort it for either compost, or to give to the horses as a treat. Heâ€™d arrived at around 2 in the afternoon, so there was a slight lull in the amount of people â€“ the clean up from lunch was over, and dinner wasnâ€™t to be made for another half an hour.

 

It was the head scullery maid, who had approached him. She was one of the older staff members â€“ around 50 - and she looked friendly enough. The smile on her face was something Jim could get used to seeing daily, so despite his newly ingrained want to run away, he stayed put.

 

He couldnâ€™t let Sebastianâ€™s outbursts scare him from speaking to anyone... Besides, he doubted the man himself would come down here any time soon to catch him having a conversation and if he did, what was so wrong about that?

 

â€œAre you okay, dear?â€ She asked snapping Jim from his daze and lifting a careful hand to press to his forehead. At the first touch, she flinched, her smile immediately shifting to a frown. â€œYouâ€™re burning up, dear... You shouldnâ€™t be working...â€

 

â€œIâ€™m fine.â€ Jim answered mechanically. â€œMaster Moran wants me to collect the leftovers from last nightâ€™s dinner.â€

 

The woman didnâ€™t seem all too happy about the answer, lips twisting into something close to disappointment and concern but she nodded anyway, moving into the kitchen and motioning for Jim to follow her.

 

â€œIâ€™m sure if you spoke to the master, heâ€™d be more than happy to give you a day off.â€ She insisted, moving to collect a basket, before setting some of the nearly-off vegetables into it followed by the leftovers in already prepared bags.

 

Jim snorted at that before he could stop himself, shaking his head a bit. At the womanâ€™s confused look, Jim found himself increasingly confused to match.

 

â€œWhatâ€™s so funny?â€ The maid asked with a frown.

 

â€œN-Nothing, itâ€™s just... Sir, give me a day off? He barely gives me breaks during the day...â€

 

The following reaction caught Jim off guard and his cheeks flushed pink, strikingly bright compared to the white of his skin.

 

â€œOh, Richard... Have you tried asking him? Heâ€™s a sweetheart. Heâ€™s nicer than his father, thatâ€™s for sure. Honestly, try asking him. Heâ€™ll give you a couple of days off to recover... Gave me a whole week onceâ€ She insisted with a soft, reassuring smile, handing the basket over to Jim.

 

The boy took it, nodding a little and hooking it over his arm as he thought for a moment... maybe this was all just him overreacting?

 

â€œThank you.â€ He said simply with a small nod and smiles to match, and then turned to leave slowly, taking his sweet time about getting back to the stables.

 

The rest of the afternoon consisted of Jim wading his way through the basket of food, separating it into two piles, and getting himself into a bit of a mess.

 

As always, at around 8, Sebastian came down to check on the him and Thomas and give them their orders for the next morning so they could get straight to it while he was still sleeping.

 

Jim looked to the man, deciding he looked calm enough to approach tonight, although with what he was going to ask, he was fairly sure Sebastian would snap even if he was drugged out of his mind. So, while feeling like he was about to throw up the entire contents of his stomach, acid and all, Jim decided to approach him as the woman had suggested.

 

â€œM-Mr Moran, Sir?â€

 

â€œWhat is it?â€ Sebastian answered as he looked away from one of the horses with a sigh, turning to look at Jim instead.

 

â€œI... I donâ€™t feel well, sir. I... I have a fever and I was wondering if I could... have a day or two off...â€ Jim asked timidly, not looking forward to what would likely be a horrible reaction.

 

It started with silence. Ten whole seconds of stretched, eerie silence â€“ even the horses seemed to be participating. Then came a small smirk quirking its way to Sebastianâ€™s lips. Had Jim not been petrified, he may have found it attractive on the man, but he was too busy trying not to tremble. The laughter that followed was deep, throaty and most definitely patronising.

 

â€œPlease tell me youâ€™re joking, boy?!â€ The man asked, smirking down at the shorter of the two. At Jimâ€™s following silence, the smirk fell in a flash and his expression quickly twisted to one of disgust. â€œOh lord, you actually... You actually think Iâ€™ll fall for that?â€

 

Jim flinched as Sebastianâ€™s voice slowly got louder.

 

â€œN-No, Sir! No! Iâ€™m not lying, I swear!â€ He stammered.

 

â€œYou think Iâ€™M AN IDIOT?!â€ Sebastian seemed to snap instantly. His voice raised to a shout, growling out the words and causing even Thomas to wince. â€œYOUâ€™VE BEEN SLACKING ON YOUR WORK FOR DAYS NOW!â€

 

Sebastian raised a hand and Jim stumbled back, whimpering as he fell backwards to the hay-covered floor.

 

â€œAND WHAT YOU  _HAVE_  DONE HASNâ€™T BEEN DONE PROPERLY, HAS IT?! I BET THESE... PILES OF YOURS ARE WRONG!â€

 

Jim cried out in pain and pure, spine chilling fear as Sebastian landed a harsh kick to his side, causing him to roll over and empty the contents of his stomach to the floor as his stomach contracted, fighting against the pressure suddenly placed against it.

 

â€œWhy did I ever hire you?â€ Sebastian snarled. â€œYou useless piece of shit. You canâ€™t even keep your food down. What use are you, huh?â€

 

â€œSir... please.â€ Jim sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to scramble up, eyes blown wide in fear and the little bit of colour left drained from his face.

 

â€œClean this up!â€ Sebastian snapped, pointing to the vomit. â€œAnd make sure the stables are clean before 8...  _no...._ 6 tomorrow, you hear me?!â€ He added, accompanying that with another swift kick to Jimâ€™s stomach, before turning and leaving in a rush of anger and adrenaline before neither Jim nor Thomas could take in what had happened.

 

Jim scrambled to his feet despite the pain flooding through him and the dizziness that was setting in and clouding the edges of his vision and he went straight for the mop and bucket. To Jimâ€™s initial annoyance, Thomas had got there first.

 

â€œT-Tom... Move... I need... I need to clean... You heard him..!â€ He breathed out, eyes fluttering for a moment before he got himself back to standing straight.

 

â€œNo. Bed.â€ Thomas ordered suddenly, surprising Jim more than tholder boy cared to admit.

 

â€œMy bed, not yours. Go.â€ He added, voice a lot firmer than usual, but with the same softness that was typically Thomas. â€œGo on... Iâ€™ll tell master you did this, and Iâ€™ll clean some of the stalls... Just go and rest before you make yourself even more sick..â€

 

Jim was in no state to argue, so he just nodded, hunching a little as he gripped his stomach and headed to the stable boyâ€™s quarters.

 

He found himself curling up on the boyâ€™s bed and falling into a restless sleep before his brain had the chance to take in everything that had happened. The bed was much more comfortable than his own, and when he pulled the blanket up he realised just how much thicker it was, and he snuggled further into it, letting his body tremble out the fever as he slept.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian starts to realise just what he's turning into and what he's doing to poor little 'Richard'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> For those of you not on tumblr or who didn't see the post...  
> The reason this wasn't up on Friday was simply because I was nearing on too ill to function and I just couldn't concentrate on anything. I didn't want to write a pile of crap and post that, so I thought I'd wait until I was a little more coherent - or at least had time to edit it over and over.
> 
> So yes... Thank you again to FreshFail for helping me when I got stuck!
> 
> And thank you, one and all, who have given me Kudos and commented :) It definitely makes my day, and although I dn't reply, I do appreciate every single one of them.

_**Sebastian** _

_Sebastian should've realised something was wrong as soon as Richard went down that easily._

_No, Sebastian shouldâ€™ve realised that the lack of work was not because Richard wouldnâ€™t, but that he Â _couldn't _Â_ _do what he'd been set._

_No, not even that. Sebastian should've caught on at the first cough._

_This was his fault. All his fucking fault and he was too blinded by selfish worry to even notice what he was doing. He'd never hit a servant before. Â _Ever. _Â_ _Yet he found it so damn easy with Richard... but it wasn't through anger or habit. No. It was just... defence... from Richard snooping around, right?_

Â 

 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sebastian woke the morning after the incident in the stables feeling significantly calmer, yet still blissfully oblivious to just what he had been doing â€“ at least mentally and where health was concerned - to the new 'assistant-stable boy'. As per usual, he climbed from bed, had a soak in the bath and then went to the dining room for breakfast. After that, however, routine changed and he decided to take a visit to the stables first, rather than the kitchens or his usual early morning jog, fully expecting the crumbling building to be a mess as it had been on the previous night.

Well, he was partially right.

Thomas, or Richard as Sebastian thought, had managed to clean up the sick and successfully got rid of the smell, but he'd only managed to get three of the 12 stalls cleaned. It had quickly become too dark and cold to function, and the focus shifted from cleaning to wrapping the horses up and closing up the stables. Yet of course, Sebastian wasnâ€™t aware of the reasoning behind it, and was quickly storming down to the bedrooms, looking for the two boys with the demand that they â€˜got off of their arses and finished the task heâ€™d setâ€™.

He was just about to burst through Richardsâ€™s bedroom door when he heard a voice from Thomasâ€™. Of course, usually he wouldnâ€™t be bothered by this, but it was a womanâ€™s voiceâ€¦ and one he recognised at that. A look of confusion twisted onto his face and he diverted his course to the better of the two rooms

â€œWhat do you think you-â€œ Sebastian was cut off when a hand pushed on his chest and he was shoved out of the doorway. The remaining words died in his throat as he looked down at the figure and frowned slightly when he noticed it was the head of the kitchen.

â€œMaggieâ€¦â€ He murmured, glancing back to the door. â€œI need to speak to Thomas, he should be at work alreadyâ€¦â€

â€œHe is, sir.â€ Maggie answered calmly, trying a small, motherly smile. â€œHe took Midnight out for a trotâ€¦ Sheâ€™s been awfully restless recentlyâ€¦â€

â€œPoppy cock. No she hasnâ€™tâ€¦â€

â€œWith all due respect, sir, you wouldnâ€™t know.â€ She answered, raising an expectant and nearing disappointed eyebrow and moved her hands to rest on her hips. â€œYouâ€™ve been beating Richard, if Iâ€™m correct. Youâ€™ve made the boy extremely ill and heâ€™s covered in bruises.â€

â€œHeâ€™sâ€¦ what?â€ Sebastian asked, furrowing his eyebrows. â€œI never hit him that hard..â€

â€œYou shouldnâ€™t be hitting him at all.â€ She huffed.

Sebastian immediately looked to his feet, feeling much like a scalded child. If there was one thing about this woman, it was that she really didnâ€™t take any crap from Sebastian. Sheâ€™d been around since his birth, and had taken on an almost motherly role with the boy. Heâ€™d hated his nanny and his parents never listened, claiming that if his brother liked her, then it was likely that Sebastian was just kicking up a fuss.

â€œYou not only need to apologise to him mâ€™lord, but you need to call the town doctor.â€ Margaret continued, sighing and letting her hands drop. A beat passed before she reached out to gently squeeze his shoulder. â€œHeâ€™sâ€¦ not in a good state, sirâ€¦ heâ€™s barely hanging on. I donâ€™t think Iâ€™ve seen someone with such a high temperature outside of the hospital and I donâ€™t have the medicine here to even begin to treat himâ€¦â€

Sebastianâ€™s world seemed to freeze for a moment. Was she sayingâ€¦? Noâ€¦ Christ, no. He couldnâ€™t lose another oneâ€¦

 _Fuck Sebastian, get your priorities straight_.

He was  _hurting_  someone; intentionally hurting Richard because he didnâ€™t like that heâ€™d gotten too close to finding out about the previous stable boy â€“ whose death wasnâ€™t even Sebastianâ€™s doing.

This was messed upâ€¦ so badly fucked up and he didnâ€™t know how to get back to the sanity he was used to.

He couldnâ€™t cast Richard to the streets â€“ that would be the worst possible thing he could do. He couldnâ€™t expect him to get straight back to work, or sleep in the shit hole heâ€™d assigned himâ€¦

â€œCan I see him?â€ Sebastian asked suddenly, looking up at Margaret again.

The woman frowned a little, rubbing the back of her neck. Sebastian could see the debate crossing her expression. He could see the reluctance, followed by the possibility of her giving in but before too long she spoke.

â€œY-Yes, but heâ€™sâ€¦ heâ€™s a fright, sir.â€ She admitted softly, moving to open the door for him, not entirely sure whether Richard would even /want/ to see him.

Sebastian nodded, taking a hesitant step towards the door.

Poking his head just past the wood, he caught his first true glimpse of the boy. The first glimpse that wasnâ€™t jaded by anger, or hatredâ€¦ And he felt sick.

Richard really was in a horrible state.

His skin was pale but covered in a light sweat from the fever, and his eyes barely focused as he turned to look at Sebastian. Sebastian watched as Richardâ€™s adamâ€™s apple bobbed in what he figured must have been a nervous swallow, but his face showed no signs of fear. It wasnâ€™t until Sebastian had stepped fully into the room that he caught the glimpses of the bruises - the ones that were visible and not hidden by clothes, at least. Bruises heâ€™d planted onto the boyâ€™s skin in acts of selfishness and violence. He finally took a shaky breath and swallowed thickly himself.

â€œYou donâ€™t seem very scared.â€

Sebastian watched as Richardâ€™s lips quirked the tiniest bit into a smirk, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

â€œIâ€™ve met scarier people, mâ€™lordâ€¦ Worked with â€˜em tooâ€¦â€ He answered with a rough voice, but with every ounce of respect that he could muster - every ounce of which Sebastian did not deserve in the slightest.

â€œYes, wellâ€¦â€ Sebastian murmured, hand moving to rub at the back of his neck. â€œIâ€™m going to send for the town doctor the moment I get back up to the house.â€

A small snort escaped Richard but it was followed swiftly by a heaving cough that seemed to wrack its way through the entirety of the small body.

Before he could stop himself, Sebastian moved closer in guilt and, taking the glass of water from the side, he hesitantly reached out to help Richard sit up and take a sip.

To his amazement, the boy didnâ€™t push him off. Instead, he gave a small smile in thanks as he laid back and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to level his breathing.

â€œYou shouldnâ€™t go through the trouble, sirâ€¦ A day or two and Iâ€™ll be outta your hair in one way or another.â€ He pointed out, opening his eyes to look up at him again. â€œNot long to wait at all, really...â€

Sebastian grimaced at that, and sighed, standing straight and glancing to the door.

â€œIâ€™ll call the doctor, and have some of the other staff members help me to assist you up to the houseâ€¦ Iâ€¦ There is a spare room in the servantâ€™s quarters that should exceed the conditions of your old quarters, for your recovery.â€ Sebastian answered calmly. A few moments passed, but with a firm nod, he headed for the door. His hand drifted to the handle, but before he turned it, he licked his bottom lip and looked back at Richard. â€œIâ€¦ apologise for my actions during your stay, Richard. It was unfair of me to treat you as I have, and I assure you it will not happen again.â€

Sebastian couldâ€™ve sworn he heard the start of a protest but it fuelled him to leave sooner and he was gone and moving up to the main house before Richard could get the words out.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After the visit to the stable, Sebastian only saw Richard once more that day. He couldnâ€™t face himâ€¦ Not really. It may have been selfish, but why  _should_  he visit him? He was a  _servant_. Someone who ought to show him respect and there were plenty of lords and ladies out there who would punish their employees for sloppy workâ€¦

But Richard wasnâ€™t performing sloppy work. Hell, everything heâ€™d done had been near perfect in some waysâ€¦ He  _should_  visit him to apologise. To say sorry for everything heâ€™d done in extreme detailâ€¦ to list every single incident from start to finish and apologise in full.

But instead, he simply went down to help one of the kitchen staff bring Richard and his belongings up to the house. After checking that the boy had enough water and enough blankets, he made his exit rapidly and headed to the drawing room where he intended to spend the rest of the afternoon.

Upon the butlerâ€™s announcement of the doctorâ€™s arrival at the manor, he waved it off and left it for anyone and everyone else in the manor to organise.

Instead, he sat alone in silence, trying to keep his thoughts from wandering.

Minutes passed, ticking by with every click from the clockâ€™s hands, echoing around the otherwise silent room.

It wasnâ€™t until exactly 2490 ticks later that Sebastian was pulled from his daze by the doctor taking a seat in the armchair opposite him, cup of tea in hand as he observed him.

â€œLetting oneself get lost in thought like this isnâ€™t always healthy, Sir.â€ The man hummed, setting the cup down. â€œâ€¦ and it can be dangerous should anyone see youâ€¦ they would think you were hiding something.â€

The doctor was cocky, heâ€™d give him that. He was confident to the point of being ignorant, simply because he was a Cambridge graduate. Of course, no one had the guts to point out that, yes, heâ€™d graduated from Cambridge, but with the lowest grade of his class, and was now running a private practice in which he had to charge extortionate prices just to keep his rent paid.

At the manâ€™s words, Sebastian rolled his eyes.

â€œLike what?!â€ Sebastian snapped, face contorting to a scowl as he huffed over at him. â€œWhat would you know?â€

â€œI know that the bruises on that boyâ€™s body werenâ€™t created by any horse hoof or a corner of any stallâ€¦â€ The doctor pointed out. â€œI canâ€™t imagine youâ€™d be arrested for this, sir, but it doesnâ€™t look good if it were to get outâ€¦ I suggest you be a little more careful if you continueâ€¦ especially if you call a doctor out every time one of your servants becomes a little too ill to do the jobs you set. I know your father is hardly the best example to follow, bu-â€œ

The doctor didnâ€™t have the chance to finish before Sebastian was looming over him. He hadnâ€™t touched him, but the expression alone was murderous.

â€œTell me how the boy is and then get out.â€ He ordered, voice low and verging on dangerous.

The doctor nodded, pulling a piece of paper up and pressing it to Sebastianâ€™s hand.

â€œH-He... He should be okay in a few days, sirâ€¦ but I suggest one week bed-rest at least, unless he truly feels up to workingâ€¦ and make sure he takes the medication.â€ He stammered out, moving to stand up and straighten himself out. He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair and then looked to Sebastian. â€œI understand the stress your parents have put you under, Sebastian, but this really isnâ€™t the way to behave. You know where I am, and you know I can help.â€ He finished, making a swift exit straight out to the front door.

Sebastian stood stock still, paper clenched in his hand until he heard the deep sound of the door closing.

He exhaled slowly, turning and sitting in the chair the doctor had been in, straightening out the paper. A weekâ€¦ Alright, he could allow that.

 _No. He_ had _to allow that. Two if he needed itâ€¦_

_Fuckâ€¦ heâ€™d nearly hit the doctorâ€¦_

Sebastian ran his hand over his mouth and jaw, gently rubbing to try and ease the tension there as he slowly stood up and headed for the back room.

Shooting. A good round of shooting would calm his nerves. Shooting and a brandy, then perhaps the game he killed for supper this eveningâ€¦

He stuffed the paper into his pocket, calling for the gameskeeper as he walked towards the gun cabinet.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to look up... but for how long?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!   
> New chapter!   
> I'm thinking there are going to be about 20-25 in this series... and then a sequel that I'm already planning and I'm super excited about! :D
> 
> So, yes. Thank you to those who comment and give kudos, it really does make me smile <3 Onwards!

_**JimÂ** _

Jim had caught on fairly early that Sebastian wasnâ€™t going to visit much while he was recovering. In fact it turned out to only be the once, just to check that he was taking his medication. It had been a brief encounter, and a tense one at that. Sebastian had entered and checked how many pills were left without so much as a greeting to begin with. Eventually, though, the man had muttered a few, gruff words.

"Everything okay for you here?" Sebastian had asked, looking around the room.

Jim looked up at Sebastian at that and had to bite back a snide comment or a smirk. The man was finding this difficult, he could tell. Without the punches and abuse to hide behind, Sebastian was scared. He was scared of being found out; although Jim, of course, had yet to work out just what it was he was supposed to be finding.

â€œYes, sir. Thank you.â€ Jim had replied pleasantly, shifting to try and sit up in bed to make this conversation just a little more formal.

â€œNoâ€¦ No. Lay downâ€¦ You need to recover.â€ Sebastian had murmured quickly, raising a hand a little to stop him.

Jim had nodded a little in reply, smiling his acceptance as he laid back and looked to the ceiling. He sighed a little to himself and winced at the strain on his chest that accompanied it. The medicine was working; just not fast enough in his opinion.

Jim glanced back to Sebastian when he heard the shuffle of feet on the carpeted floor as he turned on his heels to leave.

â€œLeaving so soon, sir?â€ Jim had asked, rubbing his eyes a little through exhaustion, but he hadnâ€™t wanted to sleepâ€¦ not yet. Not while the last nightmare was still fresh in his mind. This time there was blood in place of the usual water. A pool of blood that was burning away with every second of the dream that passed, but that clung to skin and made movement difficult.

â€œMm, I haveâ€¦ business to attend to.â€ The older man had answered, snapping Jim from his thoughts and giving a small wave of his hand as if brushing off any reply Jim could thing up as he opened the door.

Jim didnâ€™t bother gracing him with a reply.

Sebastian was still being distant, and he wasnâ€™t sure whether it was this, or being beaten that he hated more.

Either way, it was another two weeks before Jim was subject to another visit from Sebastian.

In those two weeks, Jim had recovered enough to work, then spent the week he was working focusing on one particular task; looking after a sick mare.

Jim was walking said horse around the paddock when Sebastian visited, trying to give her a little exercise to aid her through her leg injury. The horse, slight but strong, had been one of Jimâ€™s favourites from day one, but almost immediately after Jim got back to work heâ€™d been personally nursing her himself, allowing Thomas reign over anything else as long as he got to look after â€˜Princessâ€™. She was, in some respects, exactly like a princess with the way she held herself and the way the other horses were around her, yet with her dirty â€“ coloured coat, it was hard to assume that from a distanceâ€¦ perhaps that was why Jim had taken a fondness to her; they had that particular trait in common.

Jimâ€™s eyes focused in on the man approaching him and he swung his leg around from the stirrup, lowering himself to the ground. This was the first contact heâ€™d had with Sebastian in a while and although Jim himself looked a lot better physically, mentally he still wasnâ€™t sure he was ready to face him. Nevertheless, he had to and so he held onto the reins with one hand, and gave a small tip of his head in respect.

â€œMâ€™lordâ€¦â€

â€œRichardâ€¦ I need your help.â€

The words came so suddenly that it took Jim a good few moments to take in what had been said.

Sebastianâ€¦ needed his help.

His help was neededâ€¦ by Sebastian.

Sebastian had come to him, and clearly stated that he needed his helpâ€¦  _his_  help.

His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion and he wondered for a moment if perhaps Sebastian himself was falling ill, but after a few moments he decided against saying this out loud and nodded a little.

â€œAnything, sirâ€¦â€ He answered, bringing his free hand up to scratch the side of his neck. He watched the momentary relief fall over Sebastianâ€™s face and just about caught the hint of something close to apology setting in his eyes.

â€œGoodâ€¦ good, thank you.â€ Sebastian started with a small smile. â€œThe gamekeeper has had to leave town due to a family emergency. His parents are paying his way, but in light of this I will need you to take over his job for a few days - possibly a few weeks. In short, youâ€™ll accompany myself or any visitors on any hunts or assist them or I in leisure activities that they or myself will need assistance on â€“ Riding, taking a boat around the lake and so on and due to the time of year, it will fall upon you to assist the organisation of the annual sporting event my parents would usually holdâ€¦ Or at least, youâ€™ll organise the equipment and the land that will be best to use, while I organise the guests and such.â€

Sebastian explained as calmly but as quickly as he could, taking a breath at the end as he fiddled with his cuffs and looked to Jim with a softer expression than heâ€™d ever had the decency to throw his way in the past.

â€œTh-thatâ€¦ Thatâ€™s a bit of aâ€¦ a big promotion, sirâ€¦â€ Jim answered almost as soon as Sebastian had finished speaking, having to hold back the small but pleased smirk that wanted to work its way onto his lips.

Sebastian was trying to make it up to himâ€¦ It was obvious, even without confirmation from the man himself. Nothing Jim had done in his past months working for Sebastian, ill or otherwise, had amounted to any sustainable argument that he would be the best choice for the job. That, and prior to his falling ill, Sebastian would have preferred  _anyone_  to do that job, so long as it wasnâ€™t Jim.

When Sebastian didnâ€™t give any verbal reply and just watched Jim, the boy tried to think up a better reply. He wasnâ€™t sure whether to drag this out and play his luck, or whether to simply answer with the obvious and obedient answer of â€˜yesâ€™ straight out. In the end, he went for the former.

â€œOhâ€¦ I donâ€™t know, Sirâ€¦â€ Jim murmured, looking down at the reins in his hand and picked at the stitching a little. â€œWouldnâ€™t Thomas be a better choice? Or maybe Margaret?â€

Jim glanced up just in time to see Sebastianâ€™s expression twist into one of distaste and he could tell that the man was having a hard time when it came to not hitting or snapping at Jim anymore. He didnâ€™t  _want_ to push him, but really, the chance was just too precious.

â€œThomas is far too young, and I donâ€™t think Margaret would enjoy running around a field after me, would she?â€ Sebastian answered, voice calm but taking on a slightly sarcastic undertone.

This time, Jim really did smirk, and he had to glance to his feet for a moment in order to keep himself verging on calm.

â€œIâ€™ll do itâ€¦â€ He answered eventually, dragging his eyes to look up at him. â€œAnd Iâ€™m sorry that I was rude and everything, butâ€¦ well, you kind of deserved that one, sir.â€

To his surprise, the scowl heâ€™d been expecting from Sebastian never came. In fact, the manâ€™s lips curled upwards rather than the opposite and formed a little smile that caught Jim off guard yet again, and the laugh that followed it made his skin crawl uncomfortably.

â€œI suppose I did, yesâ€¦â€ He murmured, shaking his head at himself and moved a little closer to run his hand over Princessâ€™ mane. â€œI was thinking about going out shooting later onâ€¦ Perhaps it can be your first job. A trial run, as it wereâ€¦ After you get this gorgeous one back to the stables of courseâ€¦ Thomas tells me youâ€™ve taken her care upon yourselfâ€¦â€

Jim smiled a little and gently tugged her reins to get her to walk, making sure she didnâ€™t walk straight into Sebastian, and he guided her back to the stables.

â€œI have, yes.â€ Jim answered quietly. â€œAsâ€¦ insane as it sounds, sir, I just believe we have a sort of connection in a way that I havenâ€™t quite formed with any humanâ€¦ A friendship and perhaps an understanding of sorts. In caring for her Iâ€™ve realised sheâ€™s exceedingly beautiful and has the temperament of a prize winning horseâ€¦ but her coat has grey specks which means sheâ€™d never make it past the amateur roundsâ€¦ As arrogant as it will sound, sir, I sort of see myself in herâ€¦ Iâ€™ve been downtrodden most of my lifeâ€¦ Even back in Ireland, and I just feel like people donâ€™t see me for what I could beâ€¦ for what I am.â€ He shrugged a little as he glanced up at Sebastian briefly.

The taller of the two stayed silent in thought but nodded slightly to give his acknowledgment.

â€œI canâ€™t pretend that I understand, Richard, because it would be a terrible lie, and one Iâ€™m not willing to make. All Iâ€™ve ever had is the privileged route when it comes to life, and I donâ€™t know the pain of being of the lower or working classesâ€¦ But I do know that I do not believe youâ€™re arrogant for thinking that way.â€ Sebastian answered calmly, starting to let himself relax a little around the boy.

Jim was quiet for a long while after that, thinking things through. Thinking about his home, about how different it was here in so many waysâ€¦ about his new â€˜jobâ€™. He didnâ€™t know how much he could, or  _should_ tell Sebastian for that matter. He could really piss him off if he found out heâ€™d been lying about everything, down to his nameâ€¦ That heâ€™d been lying about his family, and that he was poorâ€¦ Heâ€™d probably be put into prison without a second thought.

â€œMy parents sent me to England because they thought that I could make my way.â€ Jim explained, smiling a little. It wasnâ€™t a lie, after all. His parents had sent him to make something of himself, but only because it had gone so tragically wrong in Ireland. â€œThey wanted me to make something decent of myselfâ€¦ perhaps become a Lord myself over here, but I suppose itâ€™s not as easy as all that, being a man and all that. I canâ€™t justâ€¦ marry into a family, and being in a job such as this isnâ€™t going to make me a millionaire overnight, is it?â€

â€œNoâ€¦ but youâ€™ve got the speech on par, already.â€ Sebastian said suddenly.

Jim tensed slightly as they approached the stables, avoiding looking to Sebastian for a moment as he slowly released the reins and lifted the saddle from Princessâ€™ back to avoid the question for a while. Eventually, he tried to go for the denial route.

â€œMâ€™not sure I know whaâ€™ ya mean, sir.â€

Sebastian smirked at that, standing back and folding his arms across his chest as he watched Jim tend to the horse with interest.

â€œYou know exactly what I mean, Richardâ€¦â€ He pointed out, stepping just a little closer. â€œItâ€™s fine, you knowâ€¦ I wonâ€™t  _tell_.â€

Jim sighed a little and closed his eyes for a moment as he slid the handle of the palm-brush over his fingers and started to work at brushing her mane.

â€œIâ€™ve always been well spoken, sirâ€¦ I had just learned to speak like a lower class boy to fit in better. A posh kid living on the streets? I wouldnâ€™t have lasted five minutes.â€

Sebastianâ€™s teasing expression softened and he nodded a little, letting the silence linger.

â€œYou really are a mysteryâ€¦â€ he chuckled quietly, straightening himself up as he turned to head to the door. â€œVery well, keep your secretsâ€¦ and be sure to stop by the house when youâ€™re done and Iâ€™ll show you the gun room.â€

Jim glanced up at him for a moment and managed a small, shy smile at that.

â€œYes, mâ€™lordâ€¦â€ Jim answered obediently, adjusting the brush on his hand. â€œGood morning, sir.â€

â€œGood morning, Richard. Donâ€™t be long.â€ He called back, already on his way back up to the house.

Jim gave it a few moments, watching him go until he was out of sight. A small, genuine smile worked its way to his lips before Jim could stop it and he ended up smiling stupidly to himself after a few moments. God, he felt like some silly school girl with a crush on their  _teacher_. It was wrongâ€¦ so wrongâ€¦ And he didnâ€™t have a crush. No. Not on the man that had beaten him as Sebastian had. No chance in hell. Nope.

But he did, didnâ€™t he?

Damn it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian, upon deciding that Richard should take over the role of gamekeeper, had doubted his own sanity.   
> For all he knew, Richard could know nothing about checking the amount of shootable game. He could tell the boy was intelligent and he could definitely read, so counting was almost a given. But that wasn't the only thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! apologies that this wasn't up last night, but I sort of fell asleep at my laptop ._.  
> But anyway...
> 
> Thank you to everyone that's left Kudos and commented! Every one of them encourages me to write the next part :3

_**Sebastian** _

Sebastian, upon deciding that Richard should take over the role of gamekeeper, had doubted his own sanity.Â 

For all he knew,Â Richard could know nothing about checking the amount of shootable game. He could tell the boy was intelligent and he could definitely read, so counting was almost a given. But that wasn't the only thing,

Richard had to know something about the extra, unofficial tasks; those that Sebastian's family set for the gamekeeper in the way of sports, shooting - more specifically loading a gun - or rowing. At least he had a clue that the boy could ride a horse after seeing him with Princess earlier that day.

But then... Sebastian had never really had a choice, had he? There was no one else suitable for the job.

Most of the other staff were more 'indoor workers' and those that weren't clearly didnâ€™t have the intelligence that was needed when it came to counting or estimating the level of animals on his land. In addition to all of that, however, he also had to get along with the chosen candidate.

So he and Richard hadnâ€™t started off well, and it wasnâ€™t like they spoke enough to get along by that point, but Sebastian could learn to appreciate his intelligence and way of thinkingâ€¦ Besides, at least with the boy in his sights, he could keep an eye on him around the buried body.

Besides, Sebastian hadnâ€™t technically been around for the hiring of some of the older staff members, having either been away doing something elsewhere, or on most of the occasions he had been too young, so they were more his parents' type of people than his own.

That narrowed it down to those that Sebastian /did/ get along with, and those within that group of people that wouldn't mind a different job.... Which ultimately brought it down to about four people.

Although Margaret probably wouldn't mind doing the job, Sebastian knew without a second thought that it would be too much for her. She was amazing in his eyes, what with the amount she did already, but it was all within a confined space, and he doubted that walking around a field and trying to play sports would be good for her.

Then there was the butler... He and Sebastian really did get along and although the butler would be perfect in build and energy, he was needed elsewhere. Along with being the man who simply seemed to run the house and the servants, he had also taken it upon himself to become the houses â€˜agony auntâ€™ as well, keeping many of the servants in line and obedient, but also happy and stable at the same time.

So he was a no go.

Then there was Thomas... He was a lovely little boy, he really was. But he was so small... Sebastian was already worried that he'd be hurt during his stable duties and being the gamekeeper meant sometimes handling guns just as big as him, if not bigger, if certain guests came to stay. Besides, Thomas really did love his job and Sebastian would feel horrible to take it away from him... And then there was the fact that he was better at that job than Richard.

Richard wasn't terrible at it, he'd give him that, but his skill set seemed to have the wrong focus. He could look after the horses as though they were his pets, but when it came to putting on horse shoes, cleaning the stalls... anything that a servant would typically do, in fact, he just... didn't seem to know what he was doing.

If Sebastian hadn't of know any better, he would've said that Richard was someone of a higher standing than simply a peasant or a member of the working class.

His speech, his manner, his treatment of horses; it all added up. Except, it didn't really, did it?

Richard was a puzzle, and Sebastian was more or less certain that he always would be, but there was nothing he could do about it. Not really. All he knew was that his treatment of the boy over the past few weeks warranted the boy a promotion and hopefully one he would enjoy or gain something out of; and anyway, maybe if this boy knew how to ride a horse, he'd already know how to load a gun and perhaps even work the oars... Maybe he was a gamekeeper before? Who knew.

Nonetheless, he stood waiting by the servants entrance, knowing Richard would be up from the stable soon, and that he was about to find out just how far the boy's knowledge went.

"Sir?"

Sebastian looked up, spotting Richard standing just in front of him, and he blinked in surprise.

"Richard, yes. Hello. Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked with a small smile, pushing up from his position leaning against the wall. The smile that spread across Richard's lips lit up his face in such a way that found Sebastianâ€™s own growing in response.

"Yes, sir. More than ready... Looking forward to it, even." Richard answered, evidently having purposely dropped the faked typically lower class vocabulary â€“ and thank god. For some reason, this just sounded and looked more natural on him and Sebastian most definitely preferred it. It meant he could get a decent conversation easily.

"Very good. Follow me, then." Sebastian replied, and headed down towards the small, dusty room where all of the sports equipment and the gun cabinet was kept, sliding his hands into his pockets as he walked.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

In just the past half an hour, Richard had managed to prove that his knowledge of guns and shooting went beyond just loading one up for his master.

In fact, it appeared that he knew both how to aim and how to shoot whilst making sure that the shot was in the right spot so that the animal would still be useable â€“ whether it was for food or something else.

The first shot Richard fired Sebastian had written down as beginners luck. The boy had taken the gun to test if it was working with practiced ease and in one, swift and well-aimed shot, managed to hit a rabbit dead in the eye.

The second shot made him a little more suspicious. Sebastian had begun by teasing, almost a little harshly in his choice of topic and words. Multiple insults to Richardâ€™s abilities and skills spilled from his mouth, slowly killing Richardâ€™s mood more than Sebastian could hope to understand, but he had given Richard the gun as he finished teasing, as well as a challenge to hit a flying bird. It appeared that Richard wasnâ€™t one to pass up a challenge, although in this case this one appeared far too easy for him. Shots were fired and a bird fell to the ground with the bullet wound in its lower back.

A few hours later and with five rabbits and two birds on his belt â€“ their collective kill, of course â€“ Richard actually appeared to be feeling pretty good for a change. He was still slightly shaky around Sebastian from what the older man could see in his movements and the fact that he was a lot quieter than he had been upon their first meeting, but Richard was trying and that was all that mattered.

â€œSo, where did you learn all of this?â€ Sebastian asked suddenly, hooking the gun over his arm and leaned forward in his steps as they made their way up a small, but steep up from the grounds. He just about caught the brief moment of what couldâ€™ve been panic in Richardâ€™s expression, but it was gone before he could call him out on it.

â€œMy papa taught me.â€ The boy replied eventually, but casually, smiling a little to Sebastian. â€œHe was taught by his father and so onâ€¦ itâ€™s just knowledge thatâ€™s run through the family I suppose.â€

Sebastian nodded a little and hummed in acknowledgment of Richardâ€™s speaking, looking around at the more decorated grounds of his home and the roses lining the pathways in small trees and bushes, smiling a little at the warmth of the sunshine on his face.

â€œMy father taught me as wellâ€¦ He wasnâ€™t all that great at it, if Iâ€™m perfectly honest. Itâ€™s a darned shame, actually. He wouldâ€™ve made a good soldier should he have decided to join the army, if only heâ€™d practiced. My brother is much the same as my fatherâ€¦ bucket loads of potential, but too closely linked to the family business to even risk leaving it for more than a few moments.â€ Sebastian found himself explaining before he could make himself stop. He was far from trusting Richard, but it was something that he could maybe see himself doingâ€¦

_What? No. Are you stupid? Theyâ€™ll crucify you if they find out youâ€™re thinking that wayâ€¦ you canâ€™t trust a servant. Ever._

Sebastian rubbed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to blink away the thoughts without drawing too much attention to himself.

â€œAndâ€¦ you donâ€™t want to be part of that business?â€ Richard asked, voice appearing confident, but Sebastian could just about pick out the nervous undertone to his words, as though he was scared that Sebastian would call him out on his snooping.

â€œNoâ€¦ It sounds dull and boring, if Iâ€™m honest.â€ Sebastian hummed truthfully in reply, stretching and rolling his shoulders as they approached the back entrance to the house. â€œSame thing every dayâ€¦ accounts, taxes, ensuring each and every customer has a decent serviceâ€¦ answering phone calls, sending crate loads of lettersâ€¦ I just canâ€™t see myself doing that for the rest of my life. Thatâ€™s a job for Sev, not me.â€

â€œSev?â€

Sebastian couldnâ€™t help but blink at Richardâ€™s choice of reply. Of all of the things he couldâ€™ve questionedâ€¦ He chose the mention of his family. A small sigh escaped his lips and he looked to his feet, kicking at the grass as he walked.

â€œMy brotherâ€¦ he doesnâ€™t live here anymore. He has his own estate further up the country.â€ Sebastian explained, sighing to himself as he briefly questioned why on earth he was telling Richard this.

Richard nodded a little, adjusting his belt a little and moved ahead of Sebastian to open up the small gate for him with a small, polite smile.

â€œAnd youâ€¦ donâ€™t get along?â€ The younger of the two asked, voice carefully curious without being imposing.

Sebastian shrugged a little, glancing to Richard and smiled a little.

â€œHeâ€™sâ€¦ different. He is much more of the business type, but heâ€™s ruthless in his methodsâ€ He tried to explain. â€œOf course, having this mentality in work quickly bled through to family life and I was always subject to the worst of it.â€

Sebastian decided then that he wouldnâ€™t go into details. It wasnâ€™t fair on Richard, to be honest, and he didnâ€™t want to ruin what had been a surprisingly pleasant walk considering their previous relations.

Their usually awkwardness had hung around like a bad odour for a while, but after the first few kills, things had become much easier in the way of speaking to each other to the point where Sebastian found that maybe, truly, they could actually get along if they gave it enough time. Maybe not to the extent he and Margaret were at, but that would take years for anyone. He took a breath and looked to the silent ex-stable boy and tried a small smile, this time opening the door for him as they arrived at the house.

Richard seemed far too surprised at that. His lips parted and eyes widened just a little as though Sebastian had just committed a crime of some kind, as if Sebastian had just done the unthinkable and Richard was being forced into doing it with or for him.

â€œN-No, after you, sirâ€¦â€ Richard insisted, motioning with his arm and very nearly going down into a bow.

â€œContrary to recent belief, Iâ€™m not the Lord of this house, Richardâ€¦ Iâ€™m his son. You wonâ€™t be hurt by anyone for entering a door before meâ€¦ now go.â€ Sebastian answered with a slight chuckle to his voice.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, looking at one another, both waiting for the other to go through the door first. That was until, finally, Richard nodded stiffly and stepped through the door. He moved in quickly and placed the game and the spare gun onto the table, unclipping the belt before he began to clean both the game and the gun in a once again awkward silence.

Sebastian realised rather quickly then that maybe heâ€™d done the wrong thingâ€¦ He had been pushing his luck, he knew that. Although any other servant wouldâ€™ve taken the invitation with a pinch of salt but done as they were told, Sebastian seemed to catch on pretty quickly that Richard hadnâ€™t trusted him.

He really hadnâ€™t trusted Sebastian not to use that as an excuse to hit himâ€¦

Fuck, what had he done. The older man swallowed thickly, carefully placing his gun on the table, and moved past Richard, squeezing his shoulder gently before he continued on his way to go to dinner.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets get out, but is it to the wrong or the right person?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, Folks! :)   
> Once again, thank you for all of the response I've had. I've been ill again this week, so seeing comments and Kudos has really cheered me up!
> 
> Right, just a note: This chapter WAS rushed, and you can probably tell, but I wanted to get one out to you guys. I read through it a couple of times and edited, but there's been no other beta-ing of any kind, so mistakes will probably ensue..
> 
> Ehehe...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

**_Jim_ **

Â 

Jimâ€™s first weeks as gamekeeper in some ways were pretty easy. He knew what to do, when it needed to be done and how to do it and seeing as Sebastian was more or less always busy too, it meant that Jim didnâ€™t have to hide that. He knew how to estimate and calculate the number of rabbit on the grounds. He knew how to clean and load guns. He knew how to care for the boathouse and treat the boats and overall he could more or less roam freely while doing his work as quickly as he could, all in time for an evening trot on Princess to give her the daily exercise she needed despite the unforgiving cold.

Although nothing â€˜legally officialâ€™ had been organised, Jim and Thomas had both agreed as soon as the former was given the promotion that he would continue his care over her. She seemed more comfortable around him and Thomas could never guarantee enough time to walk her as fully as was needed due to his already demanding work load; so Jim had taken on the job, and was more than happy to do so.

Those weeks led him to late December. Two days before Christmas if he were at home would usually be spent organising the big day and checking everything was in order and would run smoothlyâ€¦ Heâ€™d maybe go out for a ride on his horse, and return home for supper and a warm drink by the fire. In short, this was much worse. Heâ€™d had his horse ride for the day, but even his quarters in the main house were cold and verging on painfully unusableâ€¦ Yet, every time he went to complain, he quickly reminded himself that heâ€™d had it much worse not a month prior.

So, instead of moping around, he decided to offer his services elsewhere.

â€œMaggie?â€ He called through the already crowded kitchen, holding his thin jacket around himself. It took a few moments, but soon enough the woman herself had come into view.

â€œOh, Richard, love!â€ She greeted with a bright smile. â€œHow can I help you? Did you get enough to eat today? There are some leftovers if youâ€™re hungryâ€¦â€

â€œNo, no, itâ€™s fineâ€¦ I was just wondering if there was anything I could help with?â€ He asked, smiling softly as he moved a little more into the kitchen.

â€œWellâ€¦ Thereâ€™s a pretty large pile of washing up I have to get throughâ€¦ Youâ€™d be my knight in shining armour if you could give me a hand.â€ She chuckled, the smile lighting up her face in a way that almost made Jim jealous.

In the end, he grinned in return with a small but confident nod in reply. Of all the people in the world that he could get along with, Margaret would not have been someone he wouldâ€™ve picked. With his usual work and lifestyle, women as kind as she was would often brush him up the wrong way. It would set his teeth on edge and before an hour of listening to that voice he wouldâ€™ve wanted it gone for good, violence or no violence.

But this womanâ€¦ there was something different about her. He wouldnâ€™t say it was her motherliness that was too clichÃ© for his liking. In fact, he was fairly sure heâ€™d never be able to put his finger on just what it was, but nonetheless, he didnâ€™t seem to care. So instead, he followed her through the slowly lowering number of people, rolled up his sleeves, then set about helping with the washing up.

It was a good 10 minutes before either of the two spoke again, and by the point the kitchens were more or less empty.

â€œYou and Master Sebastian seem to be getting on a little better.â€ Margaret pointed out, glancing up at the boy beside her. â€œNot a bruise on you since November.â€

Jim looked to her just in time to catch her gentle smile, nodding a little as a temporary reply while he thought of something to say.

â€œWeâ€¦ are talking more now. Just idle chit chat, mind. Canâ€™t expect much more between master and servant, but itâ€™sâ€¦ nice. I still reckon he doesnâ€™t like me all that much, though.â€ Jim admitted, smiling sadly before turning back to scrubbing at one of the pans furiously to get off a speck of grease.

â€œWhat makes you say that?â€ Margaret asked with a disappointed frown.

â€œIt still feels like hostile ground around himâ€¦ like I have to tiptoe and be careful not to step on a mine that might cause him to explode at me.â€ Jim tried to explain, pulling a bit of a face towards the end, staring down at the pan. â€œItâ€™s probably my imagination, Margaret.â€

Jim shook his head at himself, setting the pan aside and reaching for another. Before he could grab it, the woman herself was standing in the way, raising an expectant eyebrow.

â€œRichard, love, you canâ€™t work in an environment like that.â€ She huffed, making Jim shrink back just a little. â€œNot if heâ€™s still giving you trouble.â€

â€œOh, no!â€ Jim blurted immediately. â€œNo, thatâ€™s notâ€¦ Heâ€™s not being horrible to me. In fact, heâ€™s being anything but. My new room is a lot better, if still a little cold, I have better quality clothes and heâ€™s giving me the freedom to do the work as quickly or as slowly as I like, as long as I get it done by the end of the day. I just feel like itâ€™s still awkward around him. Conversation doesnâ€™t flow well all of the time, and when it doesnâ€™t it feels like itâ€™s my fault.â€

Jim knew that in some ways, he was fighting a losing battle, and to make matters worse, he felt completely out of character â€“ the same bloody character heâ€™d been keeping up for weeks now. Sweet, nervous and scared little Richard, willing to do anythingâ€¦ But it had been slipping, and he knew it. Heâ€™d been settling down too much into his surroundings and he was starting to get his usual attitude and impatience back. He was starting to nose around and be curious again, and the worst and perhaps most dangerousâ€¦ He was getting bored.

He watched as Margaretâ€™s expression relaxed and she let out a small sigh.

â€œYou really do stick up for him a lot considering what heâ€™s done to you in the past.â€ She murmured, setting some cutlery aside to wash later on, then looked up to Jim again. â€œI mean it, Richardâ€¦ Youâ€™re verging on too niceâ€¦ Lords need the push and shove sometimes; you just have to know when to give it.â€

â€œItâ€™s not that, Miss Margaret, I promise.â€ Jim smiled a little, trying to calm her down enough to listen to him and to ease the conversation back to more of a chat. â€œSebastian has been lovely to me, I promise you. He hasnâ€™t snapped, shouted or hit me. I just li-â€œ

Jim abruptly cut himself off.  _What was he doing?!_ Like? Sebastian?! He couldnâ€™t  _admit_  that! Not in a million years! Not only was it so so so wrong for the help to â€˜appreciate the companyâ€™ of one of the Lords or Ladies, but it was also so very very wrong in all of societies eyes for a man to look at another man in that way. Oh lord, he was in so much trouble and he knew it.

â€œâ€™Li-â€˜? Whatâ€™s â€˜Li-â€˜?â€ Margaret asked, seemingly trying to work it out for herself.

Jim was fairly sure he was in the clear at first, scrubbing the last of the plates and setting it on the draining board while she was thinking.

â€œItâ€™s really not important, Margaret, I-â€œ

â€œRichard?â€ A deeper voice called, and Jim turned a little, spotting Sebastian wandering in.

His bottom lip quirked into a smile and it was in that moment that Margaret seemed to catch on. Her cheeks went a bright red and she was all of a sudden flustered, returning to her washing up and trying to hide her expression from view of both men.

Sebastian smiled a little in return, but it was a whole lot more professional in comparison to Jimâ€™s.

â€œRichardâ€¦ I need your assistance tomorrowâ€¦ Many of the staff are going home for Christmas eve, but I need someone to accompany me into town to pick up some parcels from the post office and help run a few other errandsâ€¦ Would you be so kind as to join me?â€ Sebastian asked.

Jim barely needed a moment, and soon he was nodding in agreement and smiling to top it off.

â€œOf course, sirâ€ Jim answered with a small, respectful nod that heâ€™d had memorized for a good month or so now. â€œAnything for youâ€¦ Will I need to dress smartly?â€

â€œIâ€™ll have the maid bring a suit down to your chambers tomorrow morningâ€¦ see to Princess then bathe and dressâ€¦ meet me in the drawing room at 10:30 sharp.â€

Jim gave another small nod at that, smile a little brighter. Errands that involved a suitâ€¦ Finally, he could show off for a change, so long as he didnâ€™t overshadow Sebastian himselfâ€¦ But he could do that.

â€œItâ€™ll be a pleasure and an honour sir, thank you.â€ He repeated, bowing his respect yet again before Sebastian squeezed his shoulder and took off back upstairs without another word.

Jim stood there like a grinning fool for a moment, his mind whirring around everything wrong and right with this.

Right? Well. He could be himself, he could spend the day with Sebastian in an area that didnâ€™t remind him of beatings and shouting, and he could get to know London. Wrong? He would spend the entire day with Sebastian, he would be with people who may know his family name and he would be smack bang in the danger zone that he was trying to avoid.

Then he remembered Margaret.

Jim didnâ€™t have the opportunity to turn around, instead being pulled around. Soon, another hand met the other arm and she looked up at him, almost a little panicked.

â€œPlease, Richardâ€¦ For all that is holy and heavenly, please tell me you did not mean like in the way that I think you did?â€ She pleaded, looking manic.

Jim was verging on scared for her. He couldnâ€™t tell her the truth! If for any reason, it was for her own health more than anything by the look of it. For a moment, Jim honestly thought she was about to have a heart attack, especially after Jim had been quiet for close to a minute.

â€œNoâ€¦ Richard! Do youâ€¦ Do you have any idea what this could do to you?! To him?!â€

â€œM-Maggieâ€¦ Iâ€™m sorryâ€¦ I didnâ€™tâ€¦ I didnâ€™t  _want_ to like men, you know, it justâ€¦ happened, and now itâ€™s stuck that way. But Iâ€™ve kept it pretty successfully in the dark for a long time, so justâ€¦ please donâ€™t tell him!â€ He asked, arms wrapped around himself as he stood there almost calmly.

â€œOhâ€¦ Oh Lord, Iâ€™m sorry.â€ Margaret stammered, looking up at the ceiling. She touched her forehead, shoulders and chest in the right order, then moved to Jim, leading him to the door.

â€œI wonâ€™t tell anyone, that you have my word on. I wonâ€™t judge you and I wonâ€™tâ€¦ condemn you and Iâ€™ll still look out for you, but Richardâ€¦ Pleaseâ€¦ Donâ€™t do anything thatâ€™ll get you into trouble. You know they donâ€™t treat people of yourâ€¦ orientation well at allâ€¦ Please be careful.â€

Jim couldnâ€™t do anything more than just nod. What was he  _supposed_ to do? Drop to his knees and pray to a God that he didnâ€™t believe in, begging for forgiveness? Unlikely. Jim had become perfectly fine with the idea of being gay â€“ embraced it, even â€“ and he had no intention of trying to â€˜cureâ€™ himself. Instead, he would watch his master from afar while he still could until the day he was caught and imprisoned for his â€˜crimesâ€™.

He looked back to her and tried a small smile, but she just nodded and ushered him out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

It hurt.

The whole fucking thing hurtâ€¦ He wasnâ€™t any different. He was still him. Still the same boy she was supposed to care for.

But then, he wasnâ€™t, was he? Jim wasnâ€™t Richard. Richard was sweet, kind, funny and forgiving. Jim was cold, snappy, sarcastic and revengeful. Two very different people and Jim was juggling both to the point where heâ€™d forgotten already that in fact, his Richard persona was straight. 100% so and by admitting that  _he_  was in fact gay, was giving away information about himself to people that were technically strangers.

He was playing a dangerous game, and he wasnâ€™t sure how much longer he could keep it up at this rate. But for now, he had to. So he was wandering back up to his room to sleep the night away, if only to bring 10:30 tomorrow morning around more quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sebastian begin to head into town, and some more of Jim's past comes out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there loyal readers! (and newbies... hello too! ;P)  
> First of all, I'm sorry that I have once again been useless and skipped the Friday update day.. I've had a really busy and tiring week and it's been a nightmare finding time to write... So this is a little bit rushed, and short, and is probably full of spelling errors and such.
> 
> Just drop me a message or a comment if you spot anything!   
> Or... You know... In general ;)   
> Hope you enjoy!

**_((Â_   _Bold italics is Sebastian POV_  ** _))_

Â 

**_Jim_ **

Jimâ€™s initial elation at the idea of going into town had dwindled very quickly. Jim had gone from all smiles and bouncing on his heels, to dreading the very thought of going as he dragged himself out of his quarters.

Seeing to Princess was easy enough. She was getting a lot better and considering heâ€™d bathed her fully two eveningâ€™s prior, he really only had to brush down her leg and make sure it was clean and supported and then take her for a quick trot. He was done by 9 and back up at the house by 9:15 sharp.

The bath itself was hardly hot. According to the â€˜maidâ€™ the heater had been struggling all morning and theyâ€™d only managed enough water to heat up Sebastianâ€™s bath fully and just on the edge of enough to make Jimâ€™s comfortable to sit in.

It was safe to say he wasnâ€™t in there for long.

The suit had been set in his room already; although there was no one there to help him dress as there would have been at-â€¦ No. He couldnâ€™t think of home now. He had more important things to worry about.

Slipping into the suit felt like the most natural thing in the world.

The material brushed over his skin, bringing forward a sense of longing for a life heâ€™d left behind. Suits and dinners, towns and peopleâ€¦ It was all gone and it was all his fault.

_â€œJim! Jim, where are you?â€ His mother screamed, running about their house in search for the boy. â€œJim!â€_

_â€œMama!â€ Jim called back, running straight towards the sound of his motherâ€™s voice. Heâ€™d already seen his fatherâ€¦_

_Flames jumped and danced out of rooms around him, but he kept running. The heat licked at his skin, leaving horrible marks, both permanent scars and removable sootâ€¦ He had to keep goingâ€¦_

â€œRichard?â€

Jim turned around, already used to answering to that name. He blinked as he saw Sebastian leaning against the doorway, and tried a small smile.

â€œMâ€™lord.â€ He greeted with a small nod in respect, buttoning up the suit jacket and brushing back his hair. â€œIâ€¦ thought we were meeting in the drawing room?â€

For a moment, Jim could have sworn that Sebastian was looking him over. The other manâ€™s eyes seemed to trail from Jimâ€™s head to his feet and back up, lingering in certain areasâ€¦ but surely not?

Little did Jim know that Sebastian  _was_  looking him over, and he very much liked what he saw.

**_Sebastian had waited, of course he had. Heâ€™d waited in the drawing room, but before half past 10 could so much as become close, he found himself twitching in the wait for Richard._ **

**_Why? He barely knew himself â€“ that was until he entered Richardâ€™s room._ **

**_Dear Lordâ€¦ He lookedâ€¦ Well._ **

**_Words failed him and he found himself staring, which of course didnâ€™t stop him._ **

**_Richard stood there before him, suit fitting more or less perfectly and making him look all the more Lord-like. He could pass off easily as such in town and for that he was entirely grateful and relieved._ **

**_His eyes trailed over Richardâ€™s form, taking in every single curve or shaping that the suit successfully and ratherâ€¦ attractively showed off._ **

**_Attractive? Hang onâ€¦_ **

**_Sebastian cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks heat up._ **

A light pink flush crept itâ€™s way to a highly confused and embarrassed Sebastianâ€™s cheeks, but Jim didnâ€™t quite catch onto why. As far as he was concerned, every rejection for the chance of marriage or even courtship had all proven that Jim just wasnâ€™tâ€¦ attractive, or worthy of, or to anyone. Heâ€™d quite gotten used to the idea.

A life aloneâ€¦ A life of solitude that he alone would control with no distractions to tell him otherwise. Besides, no matter which Lady his parents brought before him, they lasted no longer than a week before either she left him, or he grew bored of herâ€¦ That was until the year he realised just  _why_  women didnâ€™t â€˜turn him onâ€™ in the way the thought of a man would. The thought of a thickâ€¦ long cock either between his lips or inside himâ€¦

His breath hitched in his throat as he slowly brought himself back to reality, catching onto the last of what Sebastian was saying.

â€œâ€¦look amazing.â€

Jimâ€™s lips parted in surprise and he quickly cleared his throat a little to cover up his true reactionâ€¦ One that was entirely himself and not at all Richard.

â€œTh-Thank you, mâ€™lord.â€ Jim answered softly with a smile and a nod, doing up a loose buttonÂ  on his shirt cuff. â€œWill we be leaving early, then?â€

â€œThe car will be by in about 5 minutes to pick us up. Are you sure youâ€™re up for this? I know itâ€™s not part of your job.â€

â€œNeither is any of this gamekeeper stuff, Sir. In principle, Iâ€™m still just yourâ€¦ assistant stable boy, remember?â€

â€œMmâ€¦ that is trueâ€¦ but you make a better gamekeeper.â€ Sebastian teased with a playful grin.

Jimâ€™s laugh was verging on nervous, but it was there nonetheless. He pulled on a smile in return, then looked down at his hands briefly.

Could he do this? Could he spend the entire day with Sebastian, laughing at his ridiculous jokes, watching him interact with everyone in town, listening to that stupidly amazing voiceâ€¦

Jim shook his head at himself once, looking back up.

â€œIâ€™ve always been better at the more educational parts of life, anywayâ€¦ A bit of maths and this jobs a breeze.â€ He teased straight back, before sitting to retie his shoelace.

â€œYesâ€¦ where  _did_  you get your education from?â€ Sebastian asked, tilting his head a little as he watched Jim stand again.

â€œThatâ€™sâ€¦ a long story, sirâ€¦â€

â€œWe have timeâ€¦ an entire hour of it, actually. Weâ€™re going into London. The driver wonâ€™t listen in, believe me.â€ Sebastian promised. After all, he wanted to find out something about this boy.

Jimâ€™s smile was verging on pained, but who was he to deny his master anything. He just nodded his agreement, wincing when Sebastian chuckled and nodded and eventually followed him out of the room.

\------

The car was better than any heâ€™d seen beforeâ€¦ Roomy, but not too much, and whether it was due to the roads or the car itself, the journey seemed a lot smoother than most heâ€™d been on before.

â€œSoâ€¦ Your education?â€ Sebastian asked again eventually, proving that he just wouldnâ€™t let it go.

Jim visibly winced again, but he sighed a little and glanced out of the window in thought.

â€œI had a tutor.â€ He answered eventually, looking back around at Sebastian eventually. â€œHe was a nice manâ€¦ Mid thirties, high classâ€¦ Served all the rich kids he could.â€

â€œYou say that as though you were one of themâ€¦â€

Jimâ€™s silence was enough. Sebastian caught on within seconds and the look on his face was one of pure surprise.

â€œYouâ€¦ Were rich?â€

â€œNot  _richâ€_ Jim mumbled, shaking his head at himself for ever letting Sebastian into it. â€œBesides, Iâ€™m not so much anymore, canâ€™t you tell?â€

The weak smiles that were exchanged pulled at both of their heartstrings, but neither of them said anything about it. It wasnâ€™t worth the awkward silences. That was until Sebastian finally spoke up again.

â€œSoâ€¦ What happened? Toâ€¦ To make you come here, I mean?â€

Jim knew Sebastian meant well just by the tone of his voice. The usually gruff, commanding tones had dulled down to something a little moreâ€¦ familiar? Familiar, kind, comfortingâ€¦ As though Jim was on the same status as him.

â€œIt doesnâ€™t matter.â€ Jim mumbled out after a few moments of silence, returning his gaze to the passing streets outside. â€œItâ€™s not important, and besidesâ€¦ The only reason youâ€™re asking is because now you know Iâ€™m not not a born servant.â€

â€œHey thatâ€™s no-â€œ

â€œYes it is.â€

Jimâ€™s answer was cold and cutting and he knew that heâ€™d dropped himself in it. He was far too defensive, and things had been almost pleasant beforehand. He took a deep, shaky breath and looked back to Sebastian.

â€œThere wasâ€¦ an accident. Well, more of an attack, really, by some men from a couple of towns over. Burnt down one of our housesâ€¦ Not the most expensive luckily, but Iâ€¦ I lost something much more valuable on that dayâ€¦â€

He wasnâ€™t about to tell Sebastian what, but his eyes had taken on a distant look, and his lips were sitting just parted as he took in small, but shallow breaths through them.

â€œWhat did you lose?â€ Sebastian tried, obviously trying to see how far he could push his luckâ€¦ Or was he? The tone of his voice would say otherwise. Jim looked up at him, searching for any sign that this was just some sick way of snooping into his servantâ€™s life, but he saw nothing. He saw nothing but fear, hope and a huge amount of compassion for the boy.

Jimâ€™s lip quivered at his next breath and he blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

â€œMy parentsâ€ He answered eventually, voice cracking and straining against the confession, almost begging him to stopâ€¦ Which luckily he did. Silence hung in the car yet again.

It was a silence that dragged on and on for countless minutes as the world drifted by outside. A silence that stretched and stung and made everything all that more difficult. In fact, it wasnâ€™t until the cab neared London that finally one of them spoke.

It wasnâ€™t much. Just two wordsâ€¦ Two tiny little words that were muttered in the weakest and most sympathetic voice Jim had ever heard. He looked up to Sebastian and the words went around and around in his head.

â€œIâ€™m sorry.â€

Sorryâ€¦ Sebastian had said sorryâ€¦ Heâ€™d been saying that a lot recently, Jim knew, but for the first time, Jim believed him. He believed every syllable, every letter, every wordâ€¦ Everything.

â€œI know.â€ He answered eventually, a small smile quirking to his lips as he glanced back out of the front of the car. â€œLook, weâ€™re hereâ€¦â€

Jim could tell Sebastian was grateful for the change of subject, and frankly, so was he.

The remaining few minutes of the journey passed in silence, but this was much more comfortable â€“ a silence Jim could get used to.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sebastian's trip into London goes better than Jim could ever expect, and Sebastian starts to realise some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS  
> This week I got it uploaded in time!
> 
> Anyway... Thank you yet again for all of the reactions and comments and such :) Every single comment puts a smile on my face and I love all of them :)
> 
> So yes... this chapter is a little longer than usual... only a few hundred words, but yeah... and it ended badly ._.

**_Sebastian_ **

Â 

Sebastian knew that driving into London would be a surreal experience for Richard, but he'd never thought it would be to this extent. From the moment the car edged over the border between the rest of the country and the city itself, Richard's eyes had been darting about and watching every building, car or person that passed with a somewhat ridiculous smile on his face.

Â 

In itself, the drive through London had always been interesting. His cheuffeur usually chose to travel through the higher or middle class areas, so in truth Sebastian had never really seen the lower class slums - well, not since he was a young boy and had gotten himself lost in the city on a day trip with his mother.

Â 

He shook off the distant look in his own eyes as he realised Richard's eyes had switched to watching him and he managed a small smile at the boy.

Â 

"It's huge, isn't it?" Sebastian hummed, settling in his seat and shifting to angle himself towards Richard. "Took me a while to get used to it, if I'm honest."

Â 

"It is..." He answered, smiling sheepishly. "There are cities in Ireland, of course... Dublin is overwhelming but not nearly this busy... At least, it wasn't when I stayed there."

Â 

"Mm... I've never been, so I couldn't tell you otherwise. I hear it's a wonderful place, though..."

Â 

"The whole of Ireland is." Richard murmured almost wistfully,Â  Irish Â accent seeming to come through a little more as he spoke of his home... Whether that was a conscious or unconscious decision, Sebastian would never know.

Â 

The elder of the two stayed quiet at that, just nodding his understanding for Richard's longing... Maybe he could fund a trip back home for him, but Â would he have anywhere to go? Maybe it wouldn't be possible... or it would remind him too much of home and he'd never come back?

Â 

Luckily enough, the car pulled to a stop before he could bring himself to say anything or allow his mind to race and provided a useful change of topic.

Â 

"Come on... We'll get to the post office, then perhaps we can get some lunch." Sebastian murmured, climbing out of the car when his driver opened the door for him.

Â 

Richard followed, giving him a few paces of space.

Â 

"That sounds lovely, sir... but you don't have to buy me lunch, sir. I can wait until we arrive back at home."

Â 

"Don't be ridiculous, Richard. I have invited you to accompany me in London as an equal, meaning that not only will I be buying you lunch, but you also do not have to call me sir, or 'm'lord'" Sebastian answered, voice edging closer to stern, but with a friendly lilt that seemed to have relaxed Richard just enough to convince him that everything was fine - that he could relax here and not be judged.

Â 

"A-Are you sure?" Richard stammered out eventually, cheeks seeming to be a little pinker than usual. "I mean... You can take it out of my wages, if you like... Or... I've got the money at ho-... at the manor and I'll give it to you as soon as we get there."

Â 

"Richard." Sebastian warned, raising an eyebrow at him and having seemingly missed Richard's little slip up with calling the manor home. In fact, he hadn't missed it, but he didn't think bringing it up would be the best idea right now.

Â 

The boy smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck a little.

Â 

"S-Sorry... Yes, Lunch sounds good." He eventually gave in, nodding once.

Â 

Sebastian smirked a little, taking the package his driver was trying to hand him. He quickly murmured instructions for the driver not to go too far, then turned back to Richard. He nodded towards the post office in invitation and turned to walk in that direction with a small, but evidently comfortable smile back on his face.

Â 

Richard hesitated for a moment, but soon enough he was moving to catch up with Sebastian and quickly fell into pace beside him.

Â 

"So... What's in the package?" Richard asked cheekily, causing Sebastian to raise his eyebrows at the sudden out of character confidence.

Â 

"It's... something for my brother." He answered, speech a little slower as he watched the boy beside him. In the end, he decided to shake it off... One littleÂ  anomaly Â once in a blue moon was nothing to worry about, after all...

Â 

"Your brother?"

Â 

"Yes... My brother." Sebastian answered far too defensively.

Â 

Richard seemed to go quiet at that, something in his expression shifting. Something close to... a scalded child? The guilt built quickly, and Sebastian winced.

Â 

"Sorry I snapped... I know you didn't mean to pry, Rich..." He apologised quietly.

Â 

Before the answer could really settle in either of their minds, Richard's head snapped up suddenly, deep brown eyes boring into Sebastian's blue ones for what felt like minutes but was probably only seconds.

Â 

"Rich..."

Â 

Sebastian swallowed as he seemed to realise that he'd just given the boy aÂ  nickname . It was just a nickname... Shortened, too, so nothingÂ  too Â personal... Right? All the same, Sebastian just gave a weak little smile and a shrug, before opening and holding the door for Richard. Unlike the first time, he stepped inside without complaint, but nevertheless hovered until Sebastian was ahead of him before he would move.

Â 

"He left something behind when he moved away a year or so ago." Sebastian finally explained, feeling a little bad for having not done so earlier.. " Never asked for it back, but he sent a letter last week asking for it... Odd in my eyes, but it's left to me to mail it to him... Just w ait here, I'll be back in a moment."

Â 

He motioned to the seats in the waiting area as an invitation for Richard to sit down, keeping a gentle smile despite the boy's expression as he turned away.

Â 

It had quickly become much more confused than Sebastian was sure Richard intended to let show and he felt almost guilty for not giving an explanation for the nickname as well. He glanced back, giving him a weak, ghost of a smile before he turned and went up to the counter.

Â 

In truth, he had needed a few moments to gather himself together again.

Â 

What was he doing?

Â 

Richard wasn't his friend. Or at least, he wasn't if they went by society's standards. He couldn't, no,Â  shouldn't Â be. It wasn'tÂ  right ... But he was, wasn't he? Or at least, that's how Sebastian felt. He felt as though Richard could be his friend... another equal that visited for dinners, that accompanied him on trips into town, came to lunch or tea, went shooting with him... when in truth, this boy was just his assistant stable-boy turned gamekeeper...

Â 

In fact, part of him was screaming to treat Richard like royalty, to treat him like he would any of his female guests, or those his mother attempted to make him court. It didn't make sense. First of all, Richard was a boy. Secondly, Sebastian wasn't homosexual and finally... finally...

Â 

He huffed to himself, unable to think of a 'finally'. He couldn't think of that one, strong reason that would put him off of all of this... In fact, he wasn't entirely sure about the second reason. The words didn't sound quite right.

Â 

Sebastian shook himself out of it just enough as he was called forward, turning his focus to the man at the counter.

Â 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Â 

After their exit from the post office, the two men walked in silence for a while. Richard was looking around at everything he could and Sebastian was seemingly watching Richard more than anything else. That was until he spotted a little cafe across the road. Or rather, his nose did.

Â 

Sebastian breathed in the smell of freshly baked bread and cakes with a warm, lazy smile on his lips and he quickly looked to the other man.

Â 

"How about there?" He asked, motioning towards the place with a hopeful smile.

Â 

It looked quiet. Only half a dozen people inside. The building itself was small and quaint with vines beginning to climb up the front despite being in the city. It seemed so out of place amongst the smog and tall grey buildings, but it was pulling him in and he could only hope thatÂ  Richard would agree to go there.

Â 

"Sounds.. perfect."

Â 

Perfect... Perfect. Yes, that's what it was.

Â 

Sebastian looked to Richard and grinned, very nearly reaching to grab his hand... Wait, what?

Â 

His cheeks pinked slightly, and in the end he slid his hands firmly into his pockets and went to cross the road with Richard hot on his heels.

Â 

Finding a seat was fairly easy. Sebastian picked one that was in the middle of the cafe, but on the far right side. It was a more secluded area, although in truth, he was oblivious that it was that fact that had truly drawn him there. He slid into the seat with his back to the front window, and Richard took his seat opposite, brushing off what looked like salt from the table.

Â 

The smell was even stronger in here and it was making his mouth water. It reminded him of being a child... Of helping maggie and the other maids in the kitchen when he was bored. It reminded him of the rare occasions that his mother would allow him and his brother to attend afternoon tea with their guests, rather than having to stay in their rooms or go out to play.

Â 

As the waiter wandered over to take their order, he was incredibly quick to answer.

Â 

"I'd like some soup, a couple of slices of that frankly delicious smelling bread you've got, and an iced bun, please."

Â 

The man chuckled and nodded, looking to Richard, who was staring at Sebastian with a soft smile on his lips.

Â 

"And yourself, Sir?"

Â 

Richard blinked himself out of it and quickly turned to look at the waiter, clearing his throat.

Â 

"Uh... the same, thank you." He answered with a slight forced smile and a nod, turning back to look at Sebastian.

Â 

The waiter just nodded, probably used to the offishness from customers, and went to fill their order.

Â 

Sebastian looked at Richard curiously.

Â 

"Problem?" He asked, tilting his head a little.

Â 

The boy seemed to blush a little at that, and he shook his head, clearing his throat. "N-No... No. Sorry." He murmured. "I just... Wasn't expecting him to speak directly to me, you know? Most of the time, people just bypass me and speak straight to either... my uh, my master, or my parents."

Â 

Sebastian nodded in understanding, humming as he looked down at the table for a moment, tracing lines in the scattered sugar that still rested there and was mixing in with the salt from Richard's side.

Â 

"I know the feeling... As a child, no one would listen to me. It was always my older brother or my parents." He shrugged. "I know I have no right to complain, but it was irritating.

Â 

Richard seemed to smile at that, but it wasn't teasing. It wasn't harsh or hurtful in any way... No. It almost seemed... sympathetic? Like he knew exactly how Sebastian felt.

Â 

"It's hard." the boy agreed, sighing as he sat back in his seat. "But hey, we're grown adults now... We have to deal with all of that boring stuff like... bills, and theÂ  pleasantries Â that come with unwanted guests."

Â 

Sebastian laughed at that, face lighting up and causing Richard to laugh as well.

Â 

"That is very true... In fact, I have a man and his daughter visiting next week... LordÂ  Barbon"Â  He sighed, smile contorting into an almost pained expression. "They've been trying to marry me off to the daughter for years... Won't listen to me when I say that I believe that firstly, she's too young, and secondly, that I will not, and cannot love her."

Â 

If Richard's smile also fell and if his face contorted to jealousy and hurt for a moment, Sebastian wouldn't know. In fact, the smile was back so quickly that Richard himself barely realised he'd let it slip.

Â 

"Don't do something just because your parents tell you to." Richard murmured. "I know it's easier said than done... but honestly, you only have to deal with them until you can manage your own household, and then you have the run of everything. You can choose who you marry, or don't marry... I wouldn't judge you, and there are a fair few others who wouldn't either..."

Â 

Sebastian looked over at the boy, watching as Richards eyes seemed to follow his finger as it travelled through the granules.

Â 

"What about you?" He asked suddenly. "Will you ever marry?"

Â 

Richard's eyes looked up, catching Sebastian's with a small smile.

Â 

"It's unlikely... The one person for me is of an entirely different class, and the relationship would be frowned upon." He shrugged. "So I may swear myself to celibacy and never marry."

Â 

The feeling of disappointment that washed over Sebastian was one that he couldn't quite hide. His expression had fallen into an almost painful smile and his shoulders slumped just that little bit.

Â 

"But... Anyone would be crazy to refuse you..."

Â 

"That's not the point." Richard answered, voice verging on defensive. "The point is... It's... nothing." He shook his head.

Â 

Sebastian sighed softly, watching Richard but before he could make any form of argument, their food was placed in front of them. Sebastian murmured his thanks and both men continued on with their lunch.

Â 

The following hour was filled with idle chitchat once they moved past the topic of marriage, and the exchange of smiles that held so much more than the other couldÂ  realise . It was filled with a comfortable atmosphere, good food and their fair share of laughter.

Â 

For the first time since Richard's hiring, they were both enjoying themselves with no concerns for social expectations, and in truth? It was the best Sebastian had felt in a long time.

Â 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo... This one's a little shorter than usual (Not by much...) because I've had a really busy week and I've literally had today to write this. I hope it's good enough!
> 
> Once again, thank you to everyone who's bothered to show their love (or hate) for this story, and I'll continue to appreciate any and all comments, Kudos, and views.
> 
> Spread the word if you liked this, because I really do love people enjoying my work <3

Lunch had taken up a lot more time than either of them had expected. By the time they walked out, stomach's full and appetites satisfied, it was nearing two in the afternoon, so they'd ultimately decided to head home.

Â 

Although they had every intention to go for a walk through Hyde Park, all it took was a brief suggestion of heading home from Sebastian and that plan was changed. They were in the car, heading back to the manner within a few minutes.

Â 

Sebastian's question had been passed across so casually. The request for a boat ride on the lake at the manor had come across so full of care yet uncaring at the same time and for a moment, Jim forgot himself. He forgot that he was working for Sebastian and that his 'we' generally meant that Jim would be paddling as always, and Sebastian would be laying or sitting and enjoying the sun and a read while they went... Perhaps even with a blanket on the colder days.

Â 

In truth, he'd wanted to spend more time here in London and part of him suspected that Sebastian probably had too, but he knew that once summer came around, there was no doubt he'd be here more often. He'd probably be running errands, or assisting Thomas in bringing the horses to the shows on the other side of the city when he undoubtedly got his old job back.

Â 

In the end, Jim had settled into the car seat without a complaint and relaxed himself enough to enjoy the drive.

Â 

Upon arrival at the Manor, Sebastian didn't stop long enough for so much as a cup of tea. He and Jim went straight to the gamekeepers 'room' and started to pull out thigns for the boat trip.

Â 

Jim, on the other hand, had gone to his quarters. He changed out of the suit and slipped into his usual clothing, still a little grubby from this morning's chores, but he was soon in the room - that was more of a shack, really - and he picked up two paddles and something for Sebastian to use should the boat tip... He knew the man could swim. He'd watched him swimming in the mornings on weekends and every time he would curse the man for not only being so damn attractive, but for risking his health for the sake of swimming in the freezing cold lake. All the same, Â it was better to be safe than sorry, so he bundled the float up and grabbed the paddles.

Â 

"Ready, sir?" Jim asked, slipping easily back into the servant/master mentality.

Â 

Sebastian looked around for the first time, his lips twitching into an involuntary frown at both the look of him, and the use of 'sir.

Â 

"Erm... Yes." He answered with a small nod, slipping off his suit jacket and pulling on his 'hunting jacket' instead, taking the paddles from Jim with a smile.

Â 

Jim smiled a little up at him, watching as Sebastian walked away, and eventually following after.

Â 

Getting the boat wasn't the problem... no. He could slide that down from the dock into the water with ease. It was gettingÂ  into Â the boat that was the problem. He struggled this time, too, embarrassing himself more than he'd ever intended. He winced as the boat started drifting away from the dock as he had one foot in and one foot out and he huffed, trying to pull it back. In the end, he decided to risk it.

Â 

Just as he was about to push off of the dock to climb into the boat again, he felt hands on his waist. Two large, strong hands...

Â 

He glanced behind him to where Sebastian had stepped into the boat and was now holding it steady with his foot on the dock, and holding onto Jim. Sebastian smiled to him and gently guided Jim into the boat and sat them both down at the same time. "There we go.." He said softly, lifting the paddles from the dock.

Â 

Jim had a light pink flush over his cheeks, but he tried to hide it just enough to take the paddles from him. He looked to Sebastian, unable to take his eyes off of him.

Â 

Those gorgeous, sharp blue eyes that he could stare at for hours.. The jawline that'd kiss and nip his way around, and his mouth...

Â 

It was his breath stopping in his throat that alerted him that he was staring. He quickly cleared it, shaking his head and setting the oars in the water, setting them up. "Ready, sir?"

Â 

Sebastian sighed softly and nodded, settling back in the boat but this time was different... Much different.

Â 

Usually, Sebastian would lay with his head in the far end and his feet off the edge of the boat, or with his knees bent... but this time... Sebastian's head lay on a cushion by Jim's feet and his own feet hung out of the end.

Â 

Of course, this meant that the blush on Jim's cheeks hadn't gone away, and probably wouldn't. Sebastian's head wasÂ  between his legs Â and an infuriating smirk lay on those damn near perfect lips of his. Jim let out a breath finally and started to move the oars, rowing them out on the lake.

Â 

"So, Richard." Sebastian started, pursing his lips as he looked to him briefly. "After seeing London, do you prefer here, or Ireland?" He asked with a smirk.

Â 

Jim rose an eyebrow at the question and how bluntly it had come out. A small smirk on his own lips, he hesitated before replying.

Â 

"Still Ireland." he answered, looking down as Sebastian briefly but he had to look up again in fear of reacting out of hand. "Just a lot... greener... More leprechauns."

Â 

Sebastian snorted at that with a wide grin, shaking his head at the boy above him.

Â 

"Liar. There's no such thing."

Â 

"Oh, there are! They're short little men... not like the dwarves though. They make rainbows and own gold. My mama thought I was a leprechaun as a child, took me a little too long to grow." He teased, but kept as serious of an expression as he could manage despite the way his voice had taken on an Irish accent like Sebastian had never heard him use before.

Â 

Sebastian was the one to raise an eyebrow this time, rolling his eyes to match.

Â 

"Liar!" He exclaimed again, chuckling up at him, seemingly unaffected by the proximity.

Â 

"Okay, maybe I'm fibbing aÂ  little . But IÂ  was Â called a leprechaun when I was younger. I had the little green hat and everything." He insisted.

Â 

Sebastian's Â chuckle died down to a soft laugh as he looked up at the sky instead.

Â 

"You're not as short as you think, you know."

Â 

Jim shrugged, smiling a bit down at him.

Â 

"And you're not as tall as you seem."

Â 

"Now, that is definitely a lie."

Â 

"Oh, it so isn't! You look something like... 6 or 7 foot from a distance, but close up it's just 6." He grinned.

Â 

"I'm 6'3!"

Â 

"Lies."

Â 

"Not!"

Â 

"Child."

Â 

"Jerk."

Â 

Jim dipped his hand into the water and quickly splashed it over Sebastian's face with a grin to stop the arguing and giggled brightly. Of course, Sebsatian's reaction was to flail and try to stop the water, mind not quite registering that he could have just covered his face.

Â 

The flailing led to the boat rocking, and more water splashed up over them. Both men were at least partially damp by the time Sebastian calmed, but the elder man wouldn't stop there. Instead, he rolled. He rolled and leaned on the edge of the boat and it tipped.

Â 

Jim screamed as he hit the water, going under and flailing a bit as he tried to get himself back to the top, refusing to open his eyes until he was up and breathing in oxygen again.

He kicked at the water, managing to wipe his eyes just enough to get the open, spinning in the water as he looked for Sebsatian. He was a little panicked when he couldn't see him, spinning again.

Â 

"Sebastian?! Sebastian! SE- AHH!" he screamed when he felt hands on his sides. He spun, nearly hitting Sebastian in the face but he got away without doing so, letting out a shuddering breath that was oartially shock, and partially his body starting to shiver.

Â 

"Hey, its just me.." Sebastian promised, keeping one hand on Jim and the other paddling at the water to keep him up.

Â 

"Bastard!" Jim huffed before he could stop himself. He whinced a bit, sighing as he realised what he'd done. Nonetheless,Â  he could get up the voice to apologise because he was shivering before he could.

Â 

Sebastian rose an eyebrow at the expletive, but he didnt move away. In fact, he moved closer.

Â 

"Lovely mouth you have." He murmured, shaking his head. "Don't say things like that around my parents. They'd have your tongue.."

Â 

"I... I... I'm sorry, sir. it slipped. I'm so sorry,"

Â 

"Richard..."

Â 

"I'll make it up to you, I didnt mean it, it just... it came out, I'm sorry.."

Â 

"Rich.."

Â 

"and I'll never say it again I-"

Â 

Jim was cut off suddenly by the strangest sensation. One he hadnt been expecting. OneÂ  neither ofÂ  them had been expecting. All the same,Â  there it was. ThereÂ  theyÂ  were.

Â 

Two,Â  soft lips on his own, pressing gently and with just enough pressure to be enjoyable. It lasted seconds only... barely 3, but it had been long enough to stop Jim's breathing and cause Sebastian's cheeks to heat up. It was soft, sweet and just on the edge of perfect.

Â 

As it broke, they bothÂ  pulled Â back and were both still kicking to keep themselves afloat.

Â 

Sebastian looked towards the house immediately, as though looking around in worry for someone that might have caught him. He let out a breath, looking around to Jim again.

Â 

"I'm sorry..." he murmured, leaning in to kiss his forehead with aÂ  breath through his nose. He pulled back again after, quickly turning to swim off.

Â 

Jim was left shivering, watching Sebastian go.

Â 

What was that all about?

Â 

He was left with an odd feeling inside. It wasn't disappointment, but at the same time it was. He felt empty, but warm and full. Happy, but upset and lonely.

Â 

His body was starting to want to shut down against the cold, so he had to move. He had to cut off his train of thought and get the boat turned over. It was a struggle, but he was in the boat, shivering away as he watched Sebastian climbing up onto the dock in the distance.

Â 

Fuck... what had all of that been about? He couldn't just... let him swim away, surely? He couldn't let him think that what he'd done was wrong... not in his eyes.

Â 

With aching limbs and tingling nose, ears and lips, he started rowing, trying to get the boat back to the boathouse as quickly as he could, wanting to catch up to Sebastian before he could hide himself away within the manor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Description of decomposition of a body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT. I'M FRICKEN EXHAUSTED, BUT I DID IT.
> 
> So! I hope you guys like this chapter :) It's a little shorter than usual (by about... 200 words? Ish... I don't know...) but in my eyes, a lot happens, so I just hope you like it!
> 
> I was going to have the events of this chapter (You'll know them when you see them) happen later on, but in truth, I just couldn't find something else to write... So yeah.
> 
> I'm really sorry about last week, and I will forever be sorry, but I'll make it up to you, I promise (don't hold me to that.)
> 
> But for now... Thank you for those who have stuck with me this entire time, or even just over this week, and I hope that you stick around for a long time to come :) (In other words, until this part finishes/when the sequel finishes - Yes! There's a sequel! ;D)
> 
> Enjoy! Comment and Kudos make me smile :3 ;)
> 
>  
> 
> PS! This does switch POV, so don't get confused :3

Sebastian

If someone had told Sebastian that he was going to kiss his gamekeeper that afternoon, he probably would've freaked. A lot of shouting, maybe a few punches just for the sake of it, and finally an overly dramatic storm off…. Of course.

Now that it had happened, however, he was nervous. No, not nervous...  scared . He was fucking  petrified.

Everything had been perfectly and comfortably normal beforehand. They’d had a frankly perfect morning in London, eating and talking and laughing In fact, Sebastian was inclined to say that perhaps, this was one of the best days he'd had in a long time. But all good things had to come to an end, didn't they? Logically, things  should have  either stayed that casual, or returned to how they had been before.

So of course, that begged the question; what the  hell  had happened?!

All he'd done was tip the boat. If anything, that should have put them both off - especially with how bloody freezing the la-

The next few moments passed at what could have been lightening speed and Sebastian was sit with a sudden feeling of being completely and utterly overwhelmed.

Firstly, his heart seemed to skip beats - but most certainly not in the 'romantic' way - and his breath hitched messily in his throat. Then, an unfamiliar and entirely uncomfortable tightness took over his chest and throat and eventually his eyes began to sting with the threat of hot, snotty, completely unattractive tears - the kind that he hadn't been troubled with since he was a young teenager.

Fuck!

Richard. He’d left him in the painfully cold lake with an overturned boat. Now he thought about it, Sebastian had absolutely no idea if Richard could actually swim... Besides, even if he could, the water was probably cold enough to cause some muscle damage and  eventually  cause hypothermia, and then perhaps pneumonia...

Sebastian was going into a panic, but despite his inability to truly breathe or focus, he turned to his bedroom door, forced it open and he ran.

He sprinted down the stairs he'd just stumbled up, catching himself every time his legs failed him and he nearly tripped. His muscles moved of their own accord after a while, leading him straight back outside and in the direction of the lake. He stopped by the water, breathing heavily and looking around frantically. Nothing... There was nothing.

There were no bubbles, no ripples to suggest struggling; just calm water.

Sebastian let out an uncharacteristic sob and before he could stop himself, he went straight to the lake and dived in; and in  his panic, he hadn't noticed that the boat was nowhere to be seen.

Jim

As soon as Jim had paddled into the to the boat house and tied up the stupid thing, he'd broke out into a pathetic run up to the house. After divesting himself of his soaking wet shoes the moment he got inside, the most he had time to do aside from that was grab a dry coat to keep himself from shivering to death, and before long he was moving through the main house, looking for Sebastian.

"Sebastian! Where are you?" Jim called in an annoyingly desperate voice, wandering up the hallways as he shivered.

This was bloody ridiculous... He was  never  like this. He would never let an act so...  primal  get him this worked up.

But he had, hadn't he?

Jim let out a shaky breath to try and calm himself, closing his eyes before moving up to Sebastian's room.

At first, Jim knocked. It was light, but it would have been audible if Sebastian was in the room. Upon receiving no answer, he swallowed, licked his lips and tried something else.

"S-Sebastian?" He called through the door this time, luckily hiding the shake in his voice.

There was no answer.

Of course... Why would he go somewhere so obvious? Maybe he went out to the grounds? He knew Sebastian wasn't  quite  as bright as he himself was, but surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to actually go outside while he was still soaking wet?

Nonetheless, that idea was planted in his mind by that point and soon he was being the hypocrite of all  hypocrites  and his feet were taking him straight in that direction.

It was a blind walk. He never concentrated, just called Sebastian's name and  walked.

He walked and walked and walked, shivering to his core as he looked around for the man. Every glance to the lake he took was useless, with Sebastian unknowingly going out of sight nearly every time, leaving Jim oblivious.

Towards the center of the field, he reached the lining of trees and Jim's feet were finally starting to fail him as he walked.

"Sebastian?" He called weakly again with his arms wrapped around himself, looking to the grounds surrounding him and even spinning completely to look, but he tripped over his feet as he turned to walk forward again. He kept his balance though, and he just pulled the coat tighter around himself, trying to hide his hands in the warmth it provided but it was proving  difficult.

Jim really wasn't  looking where he  was going, so it was inevitable really, but before long he had tripped and fallen straight to the floor, barely managing to reach out his hands to catch his fall. He hissed at the pain in it caused, the skin having torn on his right but he ignored it and quickly turned to sit and look back at what he'd tripped on.

What he saw, however, was most certainly not what he'd expected.

Overturned dirt?

He frowned, turning onto his hands and knees to move closer, picking some up and brushing it between his fingers. It was starting to settle, he'd say. At least a few weeks old... maybe a couple of months? Grass was starting to grow through, but it was clear  that the cold weather wasn't helping it's cause and the wind kept the diry  unsettled .

Despite the way his fingers and hands were shaking, however, he started clawing at the dirt.

Jim's heart hammered in his chest and he felt almost sick as he tried to move the dirt aside. He didn't know what he'd find... but part of him had a feeling that in truth, he did.

He knew it wouldn't be pleasant... but it would be fascinating, nonetheless. He knew that someone was trying to hide whatever this was, and that he shouldn't be being as  nosey  as he was, but he was too far gone, now.

Jim managed a foot or so of digging before he was hit with a stomach-churning  odour  that made him pause for a few moments, turning his head to the side and swallowing back the bile in his throat. He gagged again, but after some strategic swallowing he was back to scratching at the dirt with a turned up nose.

His fingers continued moving loose dirt until the nails scraped along something all that much different and Jim felt his stomach turn in traitorous protest yet again. This time was much closer than the last, and he had to put a mud covered hand over his mouth and nose, taking shaky breaths through what  little air he could get.

It took a good minute, give or take a few seconds, before Jim had the stomach to move back to the hole he'd made. It was fairly clear what this was. Skin was hanging off of what looked like a rib cage, the bones were stained from the dirt and decomposition and even the bugs had long abandoned this. Either way, Jim couldn't help but stare.

His eyes scanned every curve of the bone he'd uncovered, every flap of skin on show - he even took in the rancid smell and tried to assess how long he thought that this body had been here.

Level of decomposition, take into account the temperature and acidity of the soil? Well... It could be anything from 3 to 10 weeks, he suspected.

Jim swallowed suddenly, snapping himself out of it.

Sebastian. He had to focus on Sebastian... He could think about this later, right?

God, what had he become...

Jim winced at his own  behaviour  and began to pull the dirt back into place.

He knew that, logically, all of the signs suggested that Sebastian was the cause for this body. Thinking back, this was the exact place he'd been looking on that first day, and his estimated time scale allowed for Jim's time working here; but it most definitely wasn't fear that he felt as he decided to continue his search...

No. It was.... arousal? Warm cheeks, breathing just that little bit quicker, heightened pulse... Oh god.

Letting out a breath that turned straight to a cloud of condensation in an attempt to calm himself, Jim was quickly up on his feet and turning on his heels...

... and walking straight into a body.

Sebastian

Sebastian came up for the last time after a good while of searching, gasping for breath with tears forming hot in his already stinging eyes. In truth, he wasn't sure how he was still moving - or how he was  still alive for that matter. He was so cold... He just prayed that his movement while swimming had been enough to stave off anything more than a cold.

But he couldn't find him. All evidence of Richard was gone.

Sebastian spun himself in the water, looking around on land as a last resort. There had to be something...

Finally -  finally  - his eyes fell on a figure crouched in the distance.

Crouched by the tree...

Sebastian''s  breath hitched for what could have been the hundredth time for all he knew.

On shaking, but determined legs, he was out of the water and heading to the body before he could help himself or stop to think for a moment.

He was about to reach out for the figure with panic aiding him in his movements but he was met with said figure turning straight to his chest, knocking him back a few steps.

"Richard!" He blurted as soon as he took in those features. He hadn't... had he? This... boy... he hadn't seen...

"I... I'm sorry!" the boy blurted before barely a second could pass. "I'm sorry! I was looking for you, and I tripped and I was trying to see what I'd tripped on but I couldn't find anything, and I.. I made a mess, I'm  really sorry."

The relief that flooded through Sebastian in that single moment was more than he was sure he'd felt in a very long time; the relief of finding him, the relief of Richard  not  finding the body.

He let out a breath before he could think, and gave a small, but reassuring smile.

"Easily fixed... Are you alright?" He asked, suddenly frowning when he noticed the state of him. Shivering, muddy, blood on the palm of one hand.

"Y-Yes, sir, I... Just cold, si-"

Richard wasn't allowed the time to finish. Sebastian's arms went around the boy and held him close, closing his eyes as he pressed his nose to his neck.

"I... I thought you'd drowned..."

Sebastian could hear the intake of breath from Richard and it caused the smallest, but one of the most sincere smiles to form on his face. He pressed a soft kiss to Jim's neck, then another... then another, and continued up to his lips and increased the pressure just a little, testing  Richard's  limits.... And he didn't pull back.

In fact, Sebastian was pleasantly surprised to find that Richard had pressed back into it with his body close to Sebastian's, almost stealing the heat.

The reluctance to pull away almost won out, but eventually Sebastian did just that.

"Bath time..." He murmured quietly.

"Together, sir?" Richard asked, a small but teasing smirk resting on his now wet lips. Sebastian couldn't do much but smirk, and gently turned towards the house, his arm around Jim's waist staying there as he guided him without giving him the satisfaction of an answer.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Sebastian have a bath and finally get to talking about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys :) 
> 
> I just want to ask a favour: If you've previously given kudos and have found this since, could you just give it again? Of course, after accidently (still bloody angry at myself for that) deleting the fanfic, I've lost all of the stats, so comments and kudos will be met with extra love and hugs and probably some happy tears from me. 
> 
> Also if you know anyone that's been reading this could you check that they've found the new link? Thank you :) 
> 
> PS. Sorry for the late update again, but upset, schoolwork and writers block make for very bad writing conditions.

_** Jim ** _

When Jim had joked about bath time together, he hadn't expected Sebastian to really be up for it. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure if was okay with that yet. For all he knew, that kiss could have been something purely of circumstance for Sebastian. Something that didn't actually mean anything to him.

Yet, it meant everything to Jim... No! To Richard... But... no. It wasn't as simple as that.

In truth, Jim himself wasn't entirely sure what aspect of himself had fallen for Sebastian Moran, but something had... If not all of him had and as each moment of every day passed, he began to realise more and more that there was nothing he could do about it. This man had him - metaphorically, for now - by the balls and Jim found that really? He didn't mind.

It was a shiver running through his still freezing, on-the-brink-of-hypothermia body that snapped Jim out of his thoughts and his eyes slowly ran over the figure in front of him appreciatively as Sebastian leaned over to start running the taps.

It was then that Jim began to find that he really regretted ever telling this man a lie about his identity. He probably didn't even know who the Moriarty's were. They were an Irish family that had next to nothing to do with this part of England... Yet there was always that chance and he had to remind himself of that.

"S-So... we're... actually having a bath together?" Jim asked, raising an eyebrow as Sebastian straightened up and looked around at him.

"Why? Got a problem with nudity?" Sebastian  teased with a smirk that was quite cleverly hiding his nerves.

"N-No, I just... We.. It's not even been an hour..."

"Richard, relax." Sebastian said softly. "You'll bathe first, then I will, or if you like, we can bathe together and keep our underwear on."

The choice, for Jim, really wasn't a difficult one to make. In truth, Jim Moriarty wasn't the kind of man to make a fuss about nudity, either of himself or a fellow person, and now was no different. So, despite the fact that 'Richard' would never have done so, he started to strip.

He wasn't elegant about it, or in any way trying to appear 'seductive', but the glint of something feral in Sebastian's eyes as more and more pale skin was revealed was something that Jim could revel in for hours. It made him feel vulnerable, exposed... yet at the same time, it provided him with a strange sense of power and control.

As he left himself in just his underwear, he licked his lip and finally looked up to catch Sebastian's eye properly.

"Your move."

Those two words were simple and as innocent as they could be in the situation, yet they triggered something in Sebastian, and soon the man was stripping down as well, peeling back layers of damp, clinging clothing. It was safe to say that Jim was enjoying the sight.

Each layer that was removed revealed an expanse of tanned skin that made Jim's breath hitch in his throat. The size of his arms alone... Oh lord. As Sebastian pulled off his vest, Jim couldn't help but stare. He was a... very well built man, he had to see. Sebastian's muscles were prominent on his chest - probably a result of Sebastian's morning jog's and seemingly never ending leisure activities during the day.

"Now what?" Sebastian's voice broke through the silence and his eyes quickly went up to Sebastian's face as the man dropped his trousers and they were both stood in their underwear.

"The taps." Jim blurted, motioning to them and while Sebastian was distracted, he quickly stripped out of his underwear. He didn't want to make a show out of it, even with his indifference with nudity, so while Sebastian was still turned around, he moved to the tub, only letting Sebastian catch a brief glimpse - enough to inform him that Jim was in fact naked - then climbed into the steaming hot water.

"Check mate." Sebastian breathed out, his cheeks uncharacteristically red as he was clearly trying to work through what his eyes had just seen. Jim smiled, settling back against one side of the tub, the stinging hot water  breathing warmth  back into cold skin.

"Joining me?" Jim asked, licking his bottom lip a bit and before long he was watching Sebastian stripping off and climbing into the other side. "I'll take that as a yes..."

"Shut it." Sebastian mumbled, but there was nothing harsh in his tone. "Just..." He started, but apparently couldn't finish, because they both slipped into a fairly awkward silence.

They were sitting together... in a bath... completely naked... after kissing only an hour or two earlier. This was bloody insane. Complete and utter insanity... but Jim wouldn't move if someone paid him.

"So, um..." Sebastian started, looking down at his hands in the water for a moment, trying to shift position so he wasn't making Jim uncomfortable. "Why... why haven't you reported me yet?"

"Reported you?" Jim asked, frowning in confusion. For what? The body..? Fuck. He was so careful...  Sebastian couldn't  have seen, surely?!

"The kiss."

The relief that flooded through Jim was intense to say the least. He couldn't have that conversation... not yet, and most definitely not now. However, it lasted barely moments before he started to try and rub the dirt out of his hands and from under his fingernails, avoiding Sebastian's eyes as he spoke.

"Why would I report something I enjoyed? I thought this would provide a clear enough reason..." He murmured, slowly looking up at him to catch the blue eyes boring into his. They were calculating, assessing, working something out - something that came to light a few seconds later.

Sebastian leaned over quickly, but stopped before their lips brushed, seemingly hesitating there.

"What do you want me to do?" Sebastian asked, voice barely a whisper but Jim could feel that intoxicating, warm breath against his lips and he wasn't sure he really knew how to answer.

"I..." Jim started, but he was cut off by the two lips on his own and his entire body seemed to relax and flush with a warmth that the water could never provide. It just felt so right. The touch of soft lips on his own - No. Sebastian's warm lips on his own. It was all about the specifics. The right amount of pressure, the  right level of moisture, and the right number of seconds before it broke. All the same, Jim followed Sebastian as he pulled back, greedily moving back and crashing their lips again together, more or less getting to his knees in the water.

Sebastian's hands has met Jim's waist before either of them could truly think about this, and within seconds of that, Jim's knees were between Sebastian's legs and his arms were on Sebastian's chest, hands on his shoulders and lips eagerly working against the other man's.

It was an act of pure adrenaline. It was a result of weeks, months even, of pent up wanting and longing for one another, and it was pouring into every movement of each of their lips until they finally pulled back, eyes meeting  each other  once again.

"I don't know what to do." Jim said suddenly, voice small and almost weak. It was perfect, really, if he was being Richard... but he wasn't, was he? He  was completely, 100% Jim Moriarty in that moment, and he was scared. He was scared about how he felt, about what he was going, and in truth? He was scared about the fact that Sebastian's quite obvious erection was now pressing against his stomach.

He found himself backing up before he could think about it with his cheeks bright red and his own length betraying his fear.

"I... I'm sorry." He stammered quickly, lifting a hand to brush through his hair. "I just... I can't... Not yet."

The frown that took over Sebastian's lips in that moment was full of concern, sympathy - in fact, anything  but  disappointment or anger.

"Don't  apologise ." Sebastian answered, biting his lip and quickly picking up a flannel. After a brief reach under the water to cover himself, he guided Jim to him and wrapped an arm around him as though they'd done this a million times.

Jim found himself settling in with ease despite the initial awkward movement over. Sebastian was just the right height and their bodies fit together in just the right way in the bathtub.

"What are we going to do?" Jim asked quietly once they'd both settled. "I don't doubt that your parents will want you to marry a woman... and society is ha-"

"Shh..." Sebastian cut him off, sighing softly. "We have all the time in the world to ourselves for now. Ignore the rest of the world. You can't decide how to handle them without knowing what you yourself want. Now I, personally, would love a... relationship of sorts with you. It would be secret, yes, but... I... I believe it would be worth it."

Jim blinked slowly as he listened to him, tracing his finger in circles on Sebastian's chest, and as the man finished speaking, he inhaled a deep breath.

"I agree. I think it would be... But, I... I mean..." He started, then winced a bit as words failed him. It took him a long while of silence between them before he could form the words. "This is new to me. Relationships in general are new to me... I was... engaged to be engaged to another in  Ireland, but that was part of the reason I left. I was lot..."

Sebastian was quiet again for a while, seemingly letting the words hang between them for a while.

"My mother tried to marry me off last year." He started, licking the corner of his mouth and bringing a hand up to start absentmindedly brushing his fingers through Jim's hair. "To a girl who lives on the other side of London... I was to go there and head the house in her father's stead... He was ill... But he pulled through, and they found that it was unnecessary for us to marry... I wasn't.. rich enough to warrant a marriage for the sake of it."

"I've never understood marriages for the sake of money... There's no guarantee that the money will stay and if something should happen to cause the losing of it, there's nothing there to keep the marriage together... No love."

"You're just a hopeless romantic, aren't you? All of that  offishness  to begin with was just... an act, wasn't it?" Sebastian murmured, voice soft despite the accusing sound of the words.

" 'fraid  so. In truth, I'm just a big ball of kittens and fluff that will collapse at the slightest show of love and hugs." Jim teased, expression deadpan at first, but it slowly twisted into a grin and he snorted, looking up at him. "I just believe in marriage for the sake of love, and not money."

"Well, then... You'll hate my parents." Sebastian snorted this time, shaking his head with a sigh, kissing the top of Jim's head without a second thought. "But seriously, though... how do we want this to go? Us, I mean?"

Jim took a deep breath through his nose, sighing it out and thinking it over. What choice was there, really? They couldn't be public about any relationship they might have, and apparently they were both keeping secrets from one another... It could only end in  tears, yet Jim found himself quickly answering with;

"I think we should see how it goes."

As soon as he said it, he  realised  how  disasterous  that could be, but he continued all the same.

"I think that we should just... not make a big deal out of it... I.. I really like you, and I'm assuming you like me, so that's what should matter. We'll keep it. out of prying eyes, and enjoy our time together as we have been doing, and if it escalates, it escalates."

Sebastian's chest vibrated as the man hummed his agreement and a small, curt nod followed.

"Seeing how it goes... I like it."

Jim smiled a little at Sebastian's verbal answer and he leaned up, gently kissing him just because he could. Besides... as long as they were both careful... it couldn't end up too badly, could it?

 


	15. DONT GET EXCITED JUST AN AUTHORS NOTE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...

So, uh... yeah. I apologise once again for my uselessness when it comes to uploading chapters on time.

I've had a really tough week in my personal life, and I just haven't had the means or motivation in which to write, and I am eternally sorry for that. I will get it done as soon as I an, I promise. It's in progress with 1,000 wrds done... so 1,000 to go. Just bare with me! Thank you <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the run up to Christmas, Jim and Sebastian are still nervous around eachother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
> 
> ... Is that enough? No? 
> 
> IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
> 
> And I'm sorry for a lack of grammar ._. But anyway... I really am sorry, guys. I've been useless at this recently, and although I want to tell you that it'll get better... It probably wont until after exams.
> 
> Early upload today because I'm going out :D TO SEE BIRDLAND WITH MY AMAZING FRIEND (who you can find here: lemonsaremydivision.tumblr.com) Hehe :3 
> 
> So yeah. Enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Comments and Kudos always appreciated :3 <3

_** Sebastian ** _

_**** _

If Sebastian was completely honest with himself, he and Richard couldn't have picked a better time to get together. Not only was it about time that they admitted it to each other, but it was also the week running up to Christmas.

After the initial day of getting together, the two of them seemed to finally reach the awkward stage that every relationship went through. Neither of them wanted to upset the other and they were both tiptoeing around, trying to work out where boundaries lay. Of course, they were over this fairly quickly.

Two days later and what happened to be Christmas Eve, Sebastian had been out in town for the day while Richard helped the other servants prepare the house and decorations and brought a tree in from the grounds, setting it up in the main room. On arriving home, Sebastian found that Richard had made a request that they leave it undecorated so that Sebastian himself could decorate it how he liked it... and the man had never been more grateful.

The servants could decorate the tree, he couldn't deny that. They were good at it, and it always looked even and symmetrical... but it lacked a sense of homeliness and Sebastian had always hated it, even as a child... and somehow Richard knew that.

So after hiding Richard's present in his room, he made his way out to the stables where he knew the boy would be, and smirked when he watched him reaching up to try and brush the top of Princess' head.

"Need some help?"

Richard squeaked and spun around immediately, dropping the brush and tripping slightly over his own feet, but he quickly got his balance again

"Sebastian! You... You scared me..." He stammered, letting out a breath an lifting a hand to run through his hair.

"Sorry... I just wanted to ask for your help." Sebastian answered, getting to the point straight away. They'd tiptoed around so much recently, and neither of them truly wanted it to continue.

"O-Oh, of course, sir. What can I do for you?" Richard asked with a smile, setting the brush down and moving to clean his hands in the bowl of water he hadn't used yet.

"Well... you see... Someone's put a huge tree in my living room, and in all honesty, it looks a little boring without decorations." He started, stepping towards him with a smile. "And I certainly can't manage it myself..."

"So you... Want me to help?" Richard rose an eyebrow, appearing surprised at that.

"Mm... that was my intention, yes..."

"Then... I would love to." He answered slowly, lips slowly curling up into a bright smile with a nervous, but almost relieved sounding laugh escaping. "Yes. I would love to."

"Perfect." Sebastian replied, a grin of his own forming as he finally came to a stop just in front of Richard. No more words passed between them after that, simply because Sebastian leaned down, and his lips brushed across Richards in the softest kiss yet. It was almost as though it was their first... nervous, shy and most definitely clumsy once Richard began to respond. Their shaky breaths mixed together as they both had to struggle to breathe through their noses, but eventually they began to find their rhythm.

Lips slid over lips and breath finally evened out until Sebastian tried to venture just that little bit forward and allowed a brush of tongue over Richard's lip.

The boy gasped, pulling back with bright red cheeks and immediately looked apologetic. "I... I'm.... Tree. We should do the tree... After all, Christmas isn't far away."

Sebastian blinked, deciding not to question it. He couldn't expect them to just... slip back into it after all.

"Yes, the tree." He smiled, licking his lip a bit before hesitantly holding out his hand for Richard to take. Luckily for both of their moods, Richard did. His smaller fingers slid between Sebastian's larger ones and nestled there comfortably and as their hands finally settled together, so did the two of them. Richard let out an exhale in relief and Sebastian's shoulders relaxed into a more comfortable posture.

Without another word passed between them, Sebastian started to lead Richard towards the house.

-.-.-.-.-

Decorating the tree had gone smoothly in both of their opinions. It had been relaxing, as well as something that they could bond over. There was basic conversation. Small talk, really; which bauble should go where, should they put the lights on before the tinsel or after and how on earth Sebastian's parents had been able to afford these lights in the first place. Sebastian claimed that his parents were just 'like that'. That they would buy the 'in' thing at the time, no matter the cost, and last year it had been Christmas lights. Of course, usually you would only find them strung up on the large, public trees, like the one in London - or at least, that's what Richard  had been told - but the lights on this tree seemed to be something Sebastian was intending to put up, so the younger boy went with it.

The following evening they spent together, claiming that Richard was simply 'keeping Sebastian company' because the young master was feeling lonely. Of course, a few servants were likely to snicker and whisper behind their backs, but Richard didn't care and therefore neither did Sebastian. Once again, it had been comfortable talk. Just general chitchat until Sebastian finally remarked that he was tired and requested Richard's assistance to get ready for bed... and so Richard helped him. Some oogling, a few stolen kisses and finally a short cuddle in Sebastian's large bed... and well, Richard couldn't be blamed for falling asleep..

The next morning, Sebastian woke first. He yawned and stretched, the weight on his arm alerting him to Richard's presence again and he couldn't help but smile, leaning down to kiss his forehead gently, which caused the boy to stir.

"Morning, gorgeous." Sebastian murmured, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up a little more.

"M'rry 'ris'mas..." Richard answered, voice muffled against Sebastian's chest, evidently not planning to move from his position.

"Merry Christmas..." Sebastian replied anyway, a hand absently starting to brush through Richard's hair. "Sleep well?"

Richard's reply was no more than a grunt in the affirmative, but he started to move his arm from under himself which ultimately tipped him into laying on his back. His face had lines etched across it from the creases of Sebastian's pyjama top and his hair was set in a mess on his head, but to Sebastian, it was the most naturally beautiful he'd ever looked... he didn't care how he looked and for a change he seemed confident with himself.

  
"I'll take that as a yes..." Sebastian answered, sighing through his nose as he rested his hand on his own chest. "Want your present now, or downstairs?"

At that, Richard perked up and he looked to Sebastian, eyes wide and full of genuine surprise.

"You... got me a present?" He asked, blinking a little more rapidly than usual. "You didn't have to..."

"Well, it's a little late to tell me that now." Sebastian answered with a chuckle. "Besides, it's the least I can do for all of the trouble I have put you through, and probably still will..."

In that moment, the boy seemed to realise just where they were. He looked around a bit and his cheeks flushed red.

"What if someone had caught us?" He asked suddenly, swallowing thickly as he finally looked back to Sebastian.

"None of the servants here would breathe a word of gossip to anyone... maybe amongst themselves, but this would never get out. They know I have a few people in the staff of whom are close friends of mine, and should anything get out that I do not permit, then they are likely to suffer for it." Sebastian answered casually, as though not quite catching onto the threat in his own words.

Richard's cheeks seemed to pale again, as did the rest of his face for a brief moment, although something did light up in his eyes just as briefly.

"I... See." He answered slowly, before seemingly shaking himself out of it and sitting up slowly.  "I think... downstairs... I have something for you, too."

Before Sebastian could get an answer out, Richard was on his feet and over to the mirror to sort out his hair and do the best he could to lessen the markings on his face.

"Richard..."

"Mm?"

"Leave your hair..."

The boy look around at that, fingers pausing in the messy locks.

"Excuse me?"

"Leave it... It's cute."

"I don't live to be  cute  Sebastian." Richard mumbled, something switching in his personality. Nothing bad, mind, but something all the same...

"I know, it's effortless on you. Leave it, please... It's... sexy, too."

That seemed to get through to him and once again he slowly turned on his heels to look at Sebastian, this time his hands dropping down and a smirk playing at his lips.

"Sexy, hm? Well... perhaps if you're good today, you'll get a treat later."

Now  that  defintiely wasn't Richard. Not in the slightest.

That innocent, naive boy he'd met would never have said that... But it still  was  Richard either way... So maybe this was just... another side to him?

"What if I don't want one?" Sebastian countered suddenly, tilting his head and smirking straight back at him as Richard approached once again, this time crawling over to him and taking a seat in his lap.

"Then... I might have to give you one, anyway."

"Late Christmas present?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Sorry, boss."

Richard's eyes lit up again, lips falling into a surprised and slight... aroused?... look. What was it... Sorry,  boss?

"You alright, boss?"

There it was again, that slight hitch in breath that had Sebastian's own breath trying to hitch in his throat. However, it appeared to be the wrong thing to say, and Richard was suddenly up and moving towards the door again.

"If you're not downstairs in 10 minutes, I'll throw your present in the lake." He finished, not looking back as he turned to leave again.

What was that? Sebastian couldn't help but frown as he slowly got up as well and quickly sorted his own hair out. Richard wasn't... like this. He didn't have personality swings. He had  mood  swings, yes... but that was different, surely? Sebastian swallowed, shaking his head at his own stupidity a bit, before pulling out the box from under the bed and wandered downstairs.

-.-

Richard was waiting by the tree, a box of his own in hand as he watched the lights glistening on the tree above him. It was still early - maybe 7? - which meant it was only just beginning to get light outside, leaving the lights as their only source at that moment.

"That looks interesting." Sebastian commented, motioning to the box in the boy's hands. Richard looked up at the voice, smiling a little and shrugging.

"It's not much... I just thought you might like it... It's something I've had for ages though, so it's nothing new." Richard explained, smiling a little more sheepishly now as he held it out to him.

Sebastian smiled softly as he took it, and handed the longer box over to Richard.

"That is new, but maybe over time it can become something a little more... personal to you. That was the intention, anyway. Merry Christmas, Rich."

The boy's smile finally softened and warmed as he motioned for Sebastian to sit down as well, giving a brief glance around to make sure no one was there. The other servants were either still sleeping in on their 'day off' or home with their own families, so it was fairly quiet that morning.

"Go on, open it." Richard finally insisted with a grin.

Sebastian rolled his eyes but grinned all the same, fiddling with the ribbon until it came loose and he could open the small box.

As his eyes scanned over it, his lips fell into an expression of shock.

"Oh... This is..."

"200 years old..."

"Gor-... 200?!" Sebastian suddenly blurted. "I... I can't take this! It's,... It's yours!"

"Sebastian... It's a collectable. One I currently have two of." Richard answered, sighing. "Please?"

The man seemed to hesitate before he reached into the box and slowly pulled it out, pressing down the button and watching the front open to show a working clock.

"Wow..."

Richard's grin rivalled all in that moment and he bit his lip.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it... It's... Wow, thank you."

Richard let out a breath of what Sebastian was almost certain was relief.

"Your turn." Sebastian eventually answered, nodding towards the box.

Richard looked to him once more, before grinning widely and looking down, unwrapping and opening the box.

"Kinky." was the first word that left his lips as he surveyed the riding crop, grinning cheekily up at Sebastian for a moment, before giggling and shaking his head, lifting it out. "This is... amazing... Thank you." He breathed out, shaking his head as he read over the engraving.

_ To my dearest, Love Sebastian. _

Sebastian watched Richard for a moment, smiling at the look on his face with a soft sigh through his nose. He really was beautiful... Large brown eyes that were currently full of awe and caring... something he rarely saw clearly on Richard, and his lips were curled into that breathtaking open lipped smile. When he realised that neither of them were going to say anything for a while, he decided to speak, leaning to kiss his forehead foist.

"What about some breakfast? I'm cooking..."

Richard snorted at that and looked up at him. "Well this I have to see."

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Day continues and Sebastian gets a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....ehe 
> 
> Sooooo.... 1) Birdland was amazing and it has inspired a Band AU that will be coming to your computer screens this summer (because if I start it now I'l never revise for my exams :P)
> 
> 2) I will also have a Mystrade and sequel to this oing, but I'll have no work to do so I'll have the time to do them (Or so I hope)
> 
> 3) IM SORRY AGAIN.
> 
> Have we all established tht I am one of those useless fanfiction writers who never uploads and when they do uploads complete crap? Yes Good..
> 
> Now... Here's the chapter and it hasnt been Beta'd and I can't write smut and here you go.

_** Sebastian ** _

_**** _

Breakfast overall was comfortable and pleasant for the two of them. Most of the conversation consisted of idle chat and the occasional slip into a conversation about the presents and what the rest of the day would hold, but overall Sebastian could safely say he enjoyed himself.

Richard and himself had retired to the drawing room after breakfast to finish their tea and rest before the rest of the days activities, and honestly? Just because they could. For one day, neither of them really had to worry about anything. Richard had no work, Sebastian had no business to attend to... They could both do nothing. But the important thing was, they could both do nothing together.

With no one there to tell them otherwise they could spend time doing as they wished. Thomas was with his father in town for the day and Maggie had gone to stay with her daughter for the next few days.... so in all, the house was empty aside from those with no families and had volunteered to stay to cook the dinner.. Which of course, they were allowed to also eat down in their dining room. Richard, however? Well, Sebastian wasn't going to let him sit down there. He had to stay firmly upstairs with him in the main dining room. No other choice...

Besides, Sebastian didn't really want to be alone on Christmas day.

They were just relaxing into a comfortable silence, drinking tea and nibbling on the chocolate biscuits from the 'christmas tin' when the butler knocked lightly and entered, tray balanced on his fingertips.

"Post, sir." He murmured, giving a light bow as he approached.

Sebastian's demeanour immediately changed. His light-hearted smile twisted into a somewhat confused frown as he looked to the tray. Post... On christmas day... This wasn't right. Unless it was late? But the Butler looked as confused as Sebastian felt.

"Thank you." He answered, taking the letter with a forced smile as he did so, before nodding at him to go.

The address was written in a messy scrawl that Sebastian knew too well. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and didn't bother reaching for a letter opener, instead just tearing at the opening.

Richard watched on in panic, knowing it was beyond unusual for anyone to receive post on Christmas day. This couldn't be good... could it? And by the look on Sebastian's face, it really wasn't.

The man had a hand resting over his mouth with his features set in a slight wince. In truth, Sebastian knew there were only two scenarios in which he would receive  letter on Christmas day. Either his parents would have sent a letter with precise instructions that he receive it that day - which they were unlikely to do so urgently - or there had been a family emergency. Although it wasn't an emergency as such, the letter clearly stated in his brother's messy font that they would be returning in two days.

Two days.

Parents.. and Brother... two days....

Sebastian could feel his breath catching and hitching as he went into a sot of panic, eyes blown wide as he set the letter aside and rubbed at his eyes roughly.

"No... no no no..."

"Wh-What is it, Seb?" Richard asked in a small voice, slowly moving over to him, nervous and clearly worried. Rather than answer simply, Sebastian handed the letter to the boy and let him read  through it, leaving him with as surprised a look as he man before him.

"Y-Your family... but... but isn't that a... a good thing?" Richard asked, clearly not quite understanding the issue.

"Richard... My /family/ is coming back. They don't know I hired a new stable-by for one, and we... we can't... spend as much time together. And the house is a mess, and I-"

He was cut off with a gentle kiss to his lips and happily went silent aginst them.

"Me and you will tidy the house today... it could be fun. We'll spend as much time together as possible before they return, and we will find a way once they're back." Richard insisted, eyes locked on Sebastian's. It wasn't much use with calming him down completely, but it seemed to get through to him, and Sebastian nodded slightly.

"Cleaning.... Yes, cleaning." Sebastian answered with a small nod as he stood, running a hand through his hair. In truth, the house was fine. It was spotless aside from the kitchen and bedrooms, so Sebastian found himself being led to the former first.

"Now, let's just clear up quickly and enjoy the rest of the day..." Richard said ever so softly, stroking Sebastian's cheek with a gentle thumb. The lord nodded, sighing and eventually letting his shoulders relax a little as he kept his eyes on Richard's... The man he loved.

Yes... He loved him. He most definitely did.

-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-

Cleaning was boring, to say the least, but they'd gotten it done fairly quickly. After cleaning came dinner, and after dinner came more cleaning, but all in all they had done pretty well for the day. Richard had just washed off the last spoon, before he set it onto the draining board and looked up to Sebastian with a grin, drying his hands and moving towards him.

"Told you we'd get it done." He whispered. "And we still have a couple of hours to cuddle up... and all day tomorrow to think up a reason for the new staff."

Sebastian sighed softly at that, shaking his head at his own stupidity. Between the two of them, it was obvious something would be sorted. Excuses, actual cleaning... They were bound to come up with something.

"Cuddling sounds absolutely divine right now." Sebastian breathed out, moving to meet Richard halfway, sliding his hand into the boy's and laced their hands together, walking backwards again towards the living room almost straight away. He really didn't want to rush anything, but he just wanted to be cuddling already.

Luckily enough, Richard was over to the fire, setting it up with practiced ease and already jumping onto the soft cushions of the sofa just s Sebastian sat down and he cuddled up to him with a grin, laying out along the stretch of the sofa behind Sebastian.

"Sebby?" Richard asked, looking up at him with wide, dark brown eyes.

"Mm?" The elder of the men asked, smiling laily back at him as he settled and relaxed.

"I love you."

Sebastian blinked, a little surprised at that, but slowly a smile spread across his lips all the same and he slowly leaned in to kiss him gently. "I love you, too..." He answered softly, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek before leaning in again.

Richard, of course, happily obliged and returned each kiss, eventually turning himself to make it  little easier and deepened the kiss.

From there, it went much as you might expect. The kiss became deeper and deeper until tongues mixed and danced together and slowly the smaller boy was crawling over Sebastian, resting on him and moaning softly into the kiss. This was all new to him, but he felt far more confident with it than he thought he would.

Sebastian, meanwhile, was easily following the kiss and guiding Richard along before he finally flipped them over until Richard was laying on his back and Sebastian was positioned between his legs, moving his kisses to the long, pale expanse of neck.

Breaths mixed messily into one hot puff of air and spit that dampened their lips and cheeks but all it did was aid the slip and slide of their lips as hands began to tug at clothes.

Sebastian's hands slipped under Richards's shirt fist, brushing over the soft skin of his stomach and causing the smaller man to break out in a shiver and goosebumps littered his skin, dragging a moan from his lips. With a firm pull, the already loose buttons all ripped off or pulled out and Sebastian's trail of kisses continued down Richard's chest. Now, Sebastian wasn't an expert on human anatomy, but he knew that nipples were supposedly sensitive if Richard's reactions were anything to go by.

His tongue flicked out over the sensitive buds and the smaller form arched upwards with soft gasps of pleasure, followed by low whines with Sebastian took the right nipple between his lips and gave a light suck, holding it lightly between his teeth. Wordlessly, he moved over to the other, giving it much the same treatment until Richard was whining and whimpering all over again and Sebastian could feel himself hot and heavy between his own legs.

The trail continued desperately downwards and Sebastian wasted no time on his trousers and underwear, looking up at Richard to ensure that this was okay. He received no protest, just half lidded, lust-filled eyes so he continued until the younger man was bare before him, length well on its way to being hard against his stomach. So, rather than simply reach for the vaseline and start to focus on his own pleasure, he wrapped his lips around the organ and began to suckle on the head eagerly.

He'd never done this before and his technique was clearly amateur, but it had Richard squirming and whining all the same, a small hand finding Sebastian's hair and tangling there with insistent pulls when something felt particularly good.

Sebastian could feel Richard hardening between his lips, the blood pumping through the vein on the underside against his tongue and the pre-come gathering at the tip and tasting salty on his tongue. It was odd to say the least, and he slowly released him and scrambled in the drawer by the sofa for the vaseline.

"S-Seb." Richard gasped softly, hands scratching t the skin on his sides as he realised what he was doing. "A-Are you sure...?" He stammered. "W-Were in the living room."

The other man grunted and barely blinked before he was jumping up, grabbing their clothes, then pulling Richard up and to the bedroom, kissing him insistently at intervals along the way.

Richard was giggling away between kisses, excitedly pushing him along as quickly as he could to avoid being caught as much as possible.

Finally,  finally  they reached Sebastian's room and Richard took over there, crawling onto the bed and laying out, legs spread and ready for his lover while Sebastian shoved the clothes to the side and sug around for the vaseline, then finally moved to him and betwee his legs, slicking his fingers up the entire way.

He hated the feel of the stuff, but it was necessary especially if Richard had never done this before... or at least, that's what Sebastian was assuming... He'd never thought to ask. Without hesitation, he started on the first finger, pressing at the ring of muscle that fluttered and protested to begin with.

Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips to Richard's nipple again, working at it until his body relaxed enough and the tip of his finger slipped in.

The tiniest of gasps escaped Richard at the sudden stretch. It wasn't much, but he could feel it... His body automatically clenched around it, trying to push it out, but Richard tried his best to relax himself as Sebastan slowly pushed it in more. Richard's gasps heightened in desperation the further it went and his nails started to dig into the skin of Sebastian's arms.

"Sl-Slow!" he blurted, whining a little when Sebastian stopped completely. "Sebastian!"

Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle and slowly added a second finger, pumping and scissoring until Richard could finally take a third.

It took a good 10 minutes, but after a good while of Richard's whines and pleading, they were both more than ready. Sebastian immediately coated himself and lined up, catching Richard's eye.

"Tell me to stop." He whispered, then slowly edged in, bit by bit.

Richard never did.

The following minutes for both of them were filled with intense emotion and physical pressure. Richard felt stretched to his limit and Sebastian felt constricted, but neither of them stopped. The initial thrust caused a flurry of pain for the younger boy, but the more he moved, the more his body relaxed and finally he started moaning out softly and full of want. Sebastian's grunts and moans were deeper and more frequent but they worked well together. Richard moved his hips down as Sebastian rocked upwards and visa versa until they'd found a rhythm that worked

Tongues were soon dancing once again and breath mixed as they kissed. Bodies slid together and moved in tandem, hands grasping and clutching and stroking and caressing until the heat was building up almost simultaneously. Richard's length, trapped between their stomachs began to twitch as his moans increased and when Sebastian finally hit his prostate, he came with a needy moan of Sebastian's name, back arching into the taller man as he spilt his load between them, thick ropes of white spreading across his chest.

Sebastian followed soon after, spilling into Richard with a grunt and repeated mutters of Richard's name as he slowly came down.

They stayed like that for a good five minutes before Sebastian, now soft, pulled out of a sore, sensitive Richard who whimpered but gave no other protest. They both collapsed onto the bedsheets with mutters of 'I love you' spilling from their lips over and over, the orgasm leaving them both exhausted and what Sebastian would call 'mushy'. He just about managed to remember to clean them both off, but as soon as the tissues were in the bin, he pulled Richard against him.

As ridiculous and positively cheesy as it sounded, Sebastian could confidently say that it had been one of the best christmasses. Even with the cleaning and the panic that were deep at the back of his mind, he was happy. He was content to lay here with Richard for hours, both dozin but neither wanting to sleep fully, the memories and feelings of what had just happened floating through their conscious thought.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim finally tells Sebastian who he really is. Things can only really go one way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN SO BUSY AND UGH...
> 
> I've had exams recently, but luckily they're all over now, and my time is fully dedicated to writing and stuff so hopefully, things should get a little more frequent from now on! I've had my time to relax and unwind from the exams, so I've managed to write this chapter, and I hope that it's okay! :)
> 
> PS. Sorry...

_** Jim  ** _

 

For the first time in at least a year, Jim actually slept fairly well.

Whether it was the cause or not, the presence of a warm body beside his own was something he hadn't really felt before, but now that he had... Well, he had to admit it wasn't something he particularly wanted to give up. It was comforting in a way that Jim hadn't experienced since he was a child and sometimes would sleep in his parents bed on particularly bad nights. It was sending an odd warmth through him that filled him with  a mix of fondness, happiness and something else... something more. He just couldn't tell you what.

As he woke, however, that feeling seemed to weaken and everything darkened. The warmth twisted in his gut and shrunk to the pit of his stomach as it dissipated into guilt. It pulled at his insides, the pressure building far too quickly.

He felt sick.

Jim's throat felt immediately tight as Sebastian began to stir beneath him, knowing that this man didn't know who Jim really was. He didn't know that Richard didn't exist... That Jim was on the run from home. That Jim wasn't supposed to be here. That, if he hadn't have run, he'd likely be dead by now, or at least very close to it. It was something that he needed to tell Sebastian, for better or for worse, if he hoped for anything in the future with him - anything healthy anyway - but he highly doubted that he would take it well. This could truly be the end of the little that they'd had. Being fired was certainly a possibility.

The intake of breath from beneath him snapped Jim from his thoughts and his hand began stroke absent minded circles on the soft skin beneath his fingers to keep himself paced and calm.

"Good morning..." Jim said ever so softly when Sebastian finally opened his eyes. He had a gentle smile on his face as he looked down at him, resting his head on one of his hands, propping himself up on his elbow while the other continued the soft movement.

"Morning, gorgeous..." Sebastian slurred out in reply, voice rough with the lacing of sleep that it featured in that moment. It was deep and and gravelley and caused a shiver to run up Jim's spine.

"Sleep well?" He asked softly, leaning down to brush his nose through the light scattering of hair on Sebastian's chest. He wanted to be close... to just forget for five minutes before he had to tell him. Sebastian smelt of sex, sweat and something distinctly... well, Sebastian. It was glorious, and Jim found that he really didn't want to move.

"Mmph.." was Sebastian's first lazy reply to the question as he moved his arm that was currently underneath Jim's weight and brushed his fingers gently through the soft hair on the back of Jim's head. "Defin'ly..."

Jim let out a soft giggle and settled his head down against Sebastian's chest  to just appreciate the touch while he could. He didn't make a verbal reply, not sure where to go from there. They could either get up, speak about the previous night, worry about Sebastian's brother... or Jim could tell him the truth.

Each one, in truth, could end disastrously. If they spoke of the previous night, Sebastian could quite easily admit that he didn't enjoy it... or he could say that they could not do it again... It had been risky, and with a clear head, it was likely that Sebastian was starting to regret his actions. If they spoke about Sebastian's brother, it could stress Sebastian out and make things equally as unpleasant... It would definitely ruin the mood, at least... As would the third option. That was definitely the most risky, too. Sebastian definitely wouldn't be happy about it. The real question was which would make him the _l_ _east_   unhappy.

In the end, it was Sebastian who decided for him.

"S'everything alright, Rich?" he asked when he noticed the silence, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up a little more before trying to encourage Jim into propping himself up enough to look at him properly.

Jim swallowed back the lump in his throat and licked the corner or his mouth with a brief brush of the tip of his tongue. Well, it was now or never.

"James." Jim corrected him hesitantly, wincing briefly before he slowly turned his head to look at him. "M-My... My name is James Moriarty..."

Sebastian's lazy smile hung for a few moments, but as the words sunk in, his expression slowly contorted into a look of pure confusion. His lips curled down into the ghost of a frown and his eyebrows knotted together, all evidence of his recent waking more or less gone from his face.

"Wh-What..?"

"I'm from Ireland, as I said... Just outside of Dublin. I was living with my parents before I came here..." He continued, taking a shaky breath. "I'm... not from a poor family. The Moriarty family have been one of the richest in the country for years. I was next in line, of course, but I got into some trouble."

"Hang on, Ri- James... I.. What? You... You're... not Richard?" He asked, a slight edge starting to lace his voice as the words turned more desperate.

"Exactly..."

"S-so, you've been lying to me? This... whole time?" he shook his head, his expression still contorted into confusion, but anger was knotted in now. Just the first slithers, however.

"I-I... I mean... not entirely." Jim insisted as he sat straight up when Sebastian tried to do the same. "I am still young.. not 18, but 20, and I really did need to look for a job over here. I really was scared of horses and caring for Princess has done more for me than you could imagine."

Sebastian shook his head, running his hands through his hair in disbelief as he tried to wrap his head around it, not entirely sure if he was angry or not.

"Chist... Fuck, this... this can't be happening." He breathed out, shaking his head and looked to Jim. "Why the hell did you come over to England?!"

"I... I got into some trouble at work in Dublin. I pissed off the wrong people and it first it just started off with threats and stuff, y'know? Then they set my home alight and it killed my parents and most of the staff. I got out... I got out and I ran and I-"

"Stop. Shut up! Just... Shut up. I-I... I don't need to know that right now. What I  _do_   need to know, is why the  _hell_  you lied to me?! Isn't the whole fucking basis of any kind of relationship  _honesty_ ?!" Sebastian snapped, his voice finally raising into a bit of a shout, dismissing the look of pain on Jim's face at the talk of his parents.

"Wh-Wh... Yes... Of course... That's why I'm telling you now" Jim insisted, immediately composing himself before he could so much as look like he was breaking down. He felt like a scalded child again. As though he'd been caught out in tricking someone and hadn't been given the chance to explain. Well, he supposed that wasn't too far off.

"So... So what? You decided that you'd get into my fucking pants before you told me?!" He scoffed, climbing out of the bed and running both hands through his hair before pulling on underwear. "Fucking hell, Rich."

"Jim..." Jim corrected, wincing as he hesitantly got up as well, wrapping the sheet around himself and picking at his thumb nail. At the glare that the older man sent Jim's way, he winced and looked at the floor. "Sorry..."

"Sorry.." He scoffed, shaking his head at him as he went to grab his trousers, tugging them up.

"Sebastian..." Jim pleaded, going to reach out for him, but he was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door hitting the wall. His entire body jerked in surprise and he turned straight around to the door.

"Am I... interrupting something?" the voice from the figure before them asked, dragging Sebastian's attention to him now as well.

Jim watched as Sebastian's cheeks immediately went a bright pink, sitting uncharacteristically on the skin and making him look far younger than he truly was.

Sebastian took in the sight of his brother and his heart fell in his chest. They'd been caught. There was no denying it now. Jim was standing there wrapped in a sheet and he himself was barely dressed, standing half naked in the middle of the room, and the tub of vaseline sat on the bedside table, drying out as they spoke. His lips parted in shock but he couldn't form an answer. Fucking hell...

"I'll take that as a yes." Severin answered for him, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "Having a sick little domestic?"

"That's none of you-" Jim answered, but he was cut off by Sebastian's brother with a hand held up in his direction.

"I knew you weren't exactly straight, Sebastian, but this? This is fucked up." Severin continued, stepping towards his brother. "What would mummy think? Knowing her little boy is a cock sucker?"

Sebastian clenched his jaw at Severin's words, his eyes looking between them both, before finally settling on Jim. He unclenched his jaw, but the glare never left his eyes.

"He was a mistake." He answered, voice calm, dangerous and low. "A big, ugly, worthless mistake." He spat out each word, not caring much for the way Jim's face screwed up with the threat of tears.

Jim's throat constricted at the pure hate that seemed to have planted itself in Sebastian's eyes alongside the glare; in the very same eyes that had been full of love not a few minutes earlier. Never had he regretted telling the truth so much

"Sebastian, please..." Jim tried again, voice far more vulnerable this time as he reached out to touch Sebstian's arm.

Before his fingers could brush even a single hair, a fist collided hard with his face, knocking him straight back and to the floor. The pain flared up before he felt the blood dripping from his nose and down onto his bare chest. The worst of the embarrassment was not being knocked to his arse, or even that he was now silently crying. Instead, it was that his body was on show for both men to see. The blanket had fallen a few centimetres away from him, so everything was there, in full view, and Severin _laughed_. He actually laughed and Jim's entire body trembled as he stared at the blanket before him in humiliation. The laughing followed the two men as Sebastian finished dressing and went to leave the room.

Just when he thought it was finally over, something small landed harshly in his lap... Something cold and round and it wasn't until he was sure that Sebastian and Severin had left that Jim dared to finally look.

The pocket watch.

A sob left Jim's lips as he picked it up and held it in his hand. He stared at the metal and the weight felt heavy in his hand. He wasn't just holding the watch, no. He was holding the humiliation, the physical pain and the ridiculous amount of heartbreak that that arsehole had caused him.

It was over... It was all over.

And to think, Sebastian was keeping secrets too. But Jim would never treat Sebastian like that... would he? Well. The 'old' Jim may have marched straight out there, dug up that body, and set it n show for the entire world to see.

The 'new' Jim, however, wasn't that strong. The new Jim had lost far too much in the past year to feel like he could ever secure the motivation for revenge again. He'd lost his parents, his home, his country, his love... But sitting here in self pity wasn't going to help. He knew that. So instead, he got to his feet shakily, broken and in pain. He swore that he'd last another month. Just a month... that would be all it took for those men to find him, anyway. Especially now his name was likely to get out. In a month, he'd be captured and taken, never to bother Sebastian again.

Was he being dramatic? Probably. But that was just Jim in a nutshell, really.

He dressed slowly and in silence, sliding the watch into his pocket before he headed down to the stables, in search of two of the only three comforts he felt he really had in the whole of England... 

Thomas and Princess.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian may have been avoiding him, but Severin had an entirely different plan in regards to Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I've had time to write... and I GOT FREAKING WRITERS BLOCK AGAIN.
> 
> *sigh*
> 
> I wonder why you still stick by me... Though, I suppose not all of you have... Those that have, though... Thank you :D and to my new readers if I have any ;P <3
> 
> But yes... Heres a chapter :P It's badly written, and rushed, and plot points? What plot points?
> 
> ... Enjoy!
> 
> Comments and Kudos might encourage me to write more often ;P

_** Jim  ** _

 

The following week for Jim seemed to drag on and on.

The hours following the incident were full of pain, Thomas trying to help Jim with what little frozen things he could find and Jim slipping back behind his mental barriers as he brushed Princess down. He doubted he'd be here long enough to see her fully healed, so he wanted to make the most of what time he had. He didn't see Sebastian all day after that - not that he wanted to, of course. He felt betrayed, broken and on the verge of truly scared. Sebastian had never looked that angry when he'd hit him before... Before it had almost been for show. Sure, there was the hints of anger bubbling there, but not quite like the way Sebastian had looked that morning.

The days following were - despite Jim's belief that it couldn't possibly be - worse than that first day. Sebastian didn't hurt him again. Not physically, anyway. The marks across his eye and nose was blossoming into a deep purple bruise, and for a few days his eyes had been swollen shut, but Sebastian wasn't around to see it. Jim had been doing his job as usual, but somehow the elder man had avoided seeing Jim for that entire following week.

However, Jim didn't escape the torment completely. Sebastian wasn't around to hurt him more, but Severin had made perfectly sure that he'd take his brothers place.

It had started with one round of shooting. Jim had set loose some fresh game for Severin in advance and he'd set up the two guns with practiced ease despite not being able to see all too well through one eye. A little while later, Severin had come down, partially drunk and not at all suited to hunting, but who was Jim to tell him otherwise? So he went about his job in silence, leading Severin out onto the fields and handed him one of the two guns.

"You know, my brother was right." Severin had slurred. "You really were a mistake... your mothers mistake." He snorted as he shot off a wonky shot that hit a tree rather than the rabbit nearby. Jim had clenched his jaw, staying silent as he was handed the first gun and he handed the second to Severin as he reloaded the first.

"Speak, boy. Your whore mother did give you a mouth."

"My mother was not a whore. She was a lady of the Moriarty estates." He spat.

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, and before long, Jim had a bruise to accompany the first on the cheekbone of his left cheek.

The following days were much the same. His eye slowly healed enough to open it, but it was still a nasty purple and yellow colour. The one on his left cheekbone was now purple too, and a few more bruises were dotted around his body from various hits and kicks  Severin  had given him. But it wasn't just the physical abuse. The mental abuse had been wreaking havoc on his mind too. So much so, that he hadn't noticed the little things.... The man that stood by the gate every morning, or the fact that a few of his belongings were missing.

On the morning of an exact week later, Jim was summoned to the front door to assist the butler and a few of the other servants with the arrival of Lord and Lady Moran. He'd decided by that point that Sebastian must be away... Even with the way he'd treated Jim, he'd never let his brother treat Jim the way he had... surely? He supposed he'd find out.

Jim's heart plummeted to his stomach as he saw that familiar blonde hair, set in a mess at the top of his head. Well, there went all hope he'd had for Sebastian's care. Sebastian was bound to know how  Severin  was treating him, yet he stood there, barely looking at Jim when the boy moved past him.

He swallowed thickly as he went to help with collecting the bags and bringing them inside. He managed to get a couple done without so much as looking at Sebastian, but on the way back with the third, he caught his eyes and his breath stopped in his throat. There was something there... guilt maybe? No. He was probably imagining it. He brushed a strand of hair from his own face, then set the third bag down. He went to go for the fourth, but as he did he noticed Lady Moran's heel caught in her dress and by the lack of reaction, no one else had noticed. Well, he supposed he should mention it..

"Careful, M'Lady." He said politely, offering her a smile as he gently motioned to the back of her dress. "May I?"

At the nod in permission with a polite, almost  embarrassed  chuckle, Jim knelt down and gently removed the netting from around her heel and straightened it out before standing.

"There we go.. Apologies, Madame, I just wouldn't want to see you hurt yourself." He explained, giving a light bow in respect.

"Oh, that's understandable... Oh.. Oh dear, what happened to your eye?" She frowned, sounding genuinely concerned. Jim's lips parted in surprise in the sudden act of kindness from a woman he'd never met.

"Oh.. Uh.. Nothing, Madame, really. Just a.. a fight with one of the... the people here." He insisted after a moment, but didn't bat her hands away with she reached out to touch it gently.

If there was one trait about Lady Moran that differed from most, it was that she truly did care for her 'workers'. She refused to call them slaves or servants. They were workers. They meant something to her, and therefore something to the world, no matter how low down the class system they were or where they came from. She didn't ask and they didn't tell, and things were better that way.

"Oh... you can see where the knuckles were.." She said softly, brushing her thumb lightly over the slightly darker marks. "Come with me and we'll get you some pain medication and an ice pack. I know it's too late now to stop the bruising, of course, but it should soothe it a little."

Jim couldn't really argue and in truth he didn't want to. He'd been in pain with it all week and any chance to relieve that, if only for a little while, he would jump at. He nodded with a polite, thankful smile - it was truly thankful, too, because not only was it providing the relief, but it also meant that he could escape the intensity of Sebastian's gaze. It was unnerving... Just the right mix of hatred, betrayal and guilt. He swallowed, trying to shake the feeling off, but the two only managed a few steps before the butler stepped to them, a letter resting on the silver tray.

"For you." He murmured, turning it down to Jim, one arm behind his back still as he was trained to do. Jim almost admired him. Almost.

The boy paled as he stared at the letter. It was on fairly good stationary... High quality paper, and it looked a lot like it had been written with a fountain pen... Not the kind of letter a servant should be receiving.

"You must be wrong.. there's no way that's for me... I don't live here and I-I didn't tell anyone the address..." He answered eventually, swallowing thickly.

"You are Richard Brook, are you not?"

Well... What a question.

Jim sighed as he looked at the letter and eventually he just forced a smile and took the letter from him. He stuffed it in his pocket for later, trying to act as though nothing was wrong as he looked back up at Lady Moran.

"Sorry about that, Ma'am..."

"Not at all. It's perfectly okay. Come along, then. Oh! Would you two be darlings and fetch a pot of tea for us all.. make sure there's enough for this young man, too.." Lady Moran smiled, turning around to Sebastian and  Severin .

Jim internally winced at the question. The two men who he was sure hated him most in the world - well, except from a certain few - were now being asked to fetch him tea. Of course, it wasn't _just_ for him, but he was fairly sure that wouldn't matter.

Despite the disgruntled look on both of their faces, they left to do so without argument and Jim was soon once again on the move towards the drawing room, Lady Moran beside him and Lord Moran just behind, keeping an eye on the two of them but looking altogether relaxed.

-.-.-.-

The entire afternoon had been one Jim had rather not had lived. After being seen to by Lady Moran herself, he was asked to stay with them for the afternoon. Of course, he wasn't entirely a guest as he did have to pour drinks and fetch things should they be needed, but at the same time, it wasn't every day that a servant of the household was asked to attend dinner with the family rather than serve it.

Now, under normal circumstances, that would have been something Jim would have enjoyed immensely, but he'd just found it awkward. With the letter burning a hole in his pocket, Sebastian ignoring him and  Severin  being... well, disgusting, it had been a hard day.

It appeared that Sebastian's brother had taken up another form of torture. For the first time, he was taking the sexuality route and it was something Jim struggled to handle.

It had started with just a lick of his lips. Just a small little quirk that Jim had barely noticed. The second time it happened, however, he caught that sultry stare. Had it been anyone else, he might have taken it seriously. Then, he'd slid down just a little in his chair, legs parting just a fraction. He was still being modest, but Jim knew what he was trying to do.

Then came the blatant staring everytime Jim stood. It was always when his parents weren't looking. Sebastian caught it a few times, but he never said anything. Not once.

The final straw, however, was when Jim went to the kitchen to fetch a fresh pot of tea.  Severin  had followed after, making the excuse of needing the bathroom.

Jim had barely gotten into the kitchen before he was suddenly being pressed up against the counter, Severin's crotch against his arse.

"G-Get off." Jim tried to growl out but it was far closer to a whimper.

"Or what? You'll call your mummy and daddy?" He teased, smirking a little. He'd heard from Sebastian what had happened to Jim's parents of course, but Jim couldn't say much to it by that point. He squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering again when  Severin  pressed up harder, but slipped a hand between them.

"N-No.. Please..."

The hand dipped into his trousers, fingertips just brushing Jim's cock before he stepped back, letting the boy slip to the floor in shock.

"Piece of shit." He spat, smirking  soon after as he tilted his head. "Best get straightened up and back to Mother dearest." And with that he left.

It hadn't been much, Jim supposed, but it was enough to send him into a tremble. He quickly fetched the water and once in the room, made his excuses about being tired and needing some sleep if he was to get up in the morning to see to Princess.

Thankfully, they let him.

Ignoring Sebastian's quizzical gaze at the way Jim's hands were trembling, the boy just kept going, speeding to his room... Or, well... His old room. That little thing that barely passed as a room in the downstairs of the stables. He wouldn't be found straight away, and that's how he wanted it.

Thomas was long in bed, so he didn't have to explain anything to him. Jim just kept going until he was seated on the sad excuse for a mattress. By that point, hot tears were streaming down his cheeks, cutting through the layer of dirt Jim had yet to wash off from the day.

Despite the tears and the  despair , he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out the letter. He tore it open, not caring about the stationary. His hands were still shaking and his body was wracking with sobs as he did so. Maybe this would be some hope. A long lost relative that knew exactly who he was, and was trying to get in contact. Maybe it was his parents... maybe he'd left too early.

But of course, Jim had no such luck.

 

_ Dear Jimmy, _

_ Remember me? I'm sure you do. If you don't, you'll soon be reminded. You can count on that.  _

_ You have a debt to repay, and I'm here to make sure that happens.  _

_ Say goodbye to your new home, Jimmy, we've come to get you.  _

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian finally starts to regret what he's done, and goes to find Jim to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... I... really have no excuse...  
>  I don't even remember how long it's been...  
> I just haven't written a thing...  
> I mean, christ, I want to take a Creative Writing course at University and I just haven't written...   
> UGH.
> 
> ANYYWYYYWAYAYAYA. 
> 
> Yeah, here's the new chapter :)   
> Comments and Kudos appreciated as always - Comments especially, even if it's telling me how much of a bum I am. Thank you!

_**Sebastian** _

 

It had been a few days since the return of Sebastian's parents. Things had been pretty normal, really, in the respect that life seemed to slip straight back to how it had been before their departure. His parents would do their usual - work all day at whatever they felt necessary to run the house and relax in the drawing room during the evenings. In regards to himself and Severin, they'd been out hunting a couple of times. Nothing special, just a few shots here and there, general chit chat along the way. Severin had tried bringing up Jim once, but Sebastian immediately snapped, the guilt still eating away at him from seeing that bruise  blossoming on Jim's eye and cheek. He couldn't help but wonder what it looked like now. It was probably lightening up, but still looking horrible... maybe in the yellowy purple stage.

Sebastian himself had spend a few hours doing some aiming practice with some spare tin cans from the kitchens while his mind raced around all of this. Everything he'd put Jim through since he arrived and the fact that Jim seemed to fall for him anyway. Despite the lies, something there told Sebastian that maybe.. Just maybe, it wasn't all a complete lie. Maybe Jim really did love him.

What had been especially odd, however, was that Jim hadn't been there for any of it.

He was supposed to be there, loading the guns and collecting what they'd killed. He was supposed to be organising the Spring games, inviting the usual, already listed guests, doing everything that the previous gamekeeper would have done had he of returned by now. But there had been no sign of the boy.

Sebastian had been up early that morning, just to check.. but Jim never left the stables to see to Princess or take her for the normal walk. In fact, it was Thomas who took her out - which was perhaps the oddest thing. Even if Jim was ill, Sebastian doubted very much that he'd allow Thomas to do that. Princess was Jim's responsibility as far as he was concerned, so Thomas leaving with him was particularly odd.

So, Sebsatian took matters into his own hands and planned to go and find Jim... Perhaps he was just refusing to work, which was technically not allowed. Maggie was returning that evening, too, and she would be able to tell if Jim wasn't around that something had gone wrong... So Sebastian needed to apologise for hitting him, and get him to agree not to give any clues as to what had happened between them to Maggie, or any of the other servants.

He headed into the stables, but was stopped by Thomas not a few steps before the room - Sebastian had known Jim had switched back to his old room. It wasn't a hard leap when he saw Jim wander into the stables, then never leave again that night.

"M-Mr Moran, sir." He greeted with a smile, doing a quick bow.

Sebastian frowned. It was clear enough that Thomas was a little scared of him... more so than he had been, anyway.

"Hey, Thomas." he greeted, trying to keep it as casual as he could. "Have you seen Jim anywhere?"

"I.. I uh, n-no, sir. He.. He hasn't been down here for.. for a few days. I thought he'd got things under control up in the house."

"I.. No, I... haven't seen him." he furrowed his eyebrows, looking towards the bedroom. "Thank you." he said quickly and simply, turning to head to the door.

Thomas watched him go, frowning in worry as he slowly turned to go and see to Princess. It was clear that the argument had affected Sebastian as well as Jim. He almost felt sorry for the two of them... Sure, they had sort of brought it upon themselves, but he could at least partly understand why Jim had lied about his identity. If he really was a Moriarty of the Irish Moriartys, then it really was understandable.

Thomas had heard about the fire. He'd seen it in one of the more international newspapers and done a quick read of what he could understand. Both Lord and Lady Moriarty had died in the fire. Many of the staff had, too, and Jim's brother hadn't been found. Jim had survived, but refused a photograph with the paper and had disappeared before anyone could try and convince him otherwise.

Thomas supposed that if Jim had given his true name, he would never have gotten the job... In fact, it was unlikely that Jim would've been treated with anything other than complete and utter respect. It was known that the Moriarty's had more money than the Moran's... Or most families, to be honest. Even now they had more wealth. They had three homes in Ireland, two known and one private aside from to those who were given the directions. It was likely that Jim would be heading back there. Maybe he was more ready to deal with the backlash from the fire. The constant questions, the condolences...

Or maybe Jim really had just... left.

He sighed as he looked to Princess who whinnied and shook her head a little, and he smiled.

"I'm sure he'll come back soon..." Thomas said softly, stroking her neck before gently attaching the reins to her to lead her out for the walk.

Sebastian, meanwhile, was standing in the empty room that was once Jim's. It was still a mess... it stunk of damp and the floor was wet in places. The bed looked... nothing like a bed at all anymore. Just a rag that passed as a blanket and some.. springs with material just draped over it for a mattress... How had he ever expected Jim to stay in here? He swallowed, stepping in a bit more to look around for any clue as to where Jim was.

A few of his belongings were there, but upon close inspection, Sebastian only realised that they were the clothes that Sebastian had provided him. All of Jim's own belongings had gone. There were no notebooks, no messy sketched, no clothes of Jim's around...

He let out a deep, shaky breath, running his hand over his mouth and jaw, eyes falling on a piece of paper, tucked under the pile of clothes in the corner. Maybe it was a sketch or something... A last little bit of Jim. He picked it up, frowning at the fact it was almost sopping wet, but he laid it over his hand and could just about read the smooth writing.

 

                        _Dearest Sebastian,_

                        _I'm deeply sorry if you find this and have changes_ _your mind, but I had to go. I couldn't bear the way_

                        _you looked at me like I was... a piece of dirt. Your_ _brother certainly didn't help affairs either... But I_

_won't bore you with the details. Just know that he's_ _not as innocent as he comes across. A few hits here_

                        _and there and an attempt to get me into bed weren't_ _taken well._

                       

_I suppose what I want to say Sebastian, is that_ _I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied to you, I'm sorry that I_

                        _lulled you into a false sense of security.. That I thought_ _you'd fallen for me. I see now that it was a mistake that_

                        _I couldn't help but make._

                       

_I did see the body that day when I was digging in the mud._ _I don't know why you did it, and I'm not sure I want to know,_

                        _but just know that I won't be telling anyone. Because_ _although to anyone else I would make them suffer for what_

                        _you did to me, I won't do that to you. I won't make your_ _life hell just because you did that to me. We all have our_

_lies. We all lie to keep ourselves safe. Just remember._

 

_Now, I have to leave. I've received word that I'm not_   _quite as unknown here as I thought. Don't come looking_

                        _for me, because it certainly won't end well,_ _understood?_

                       

_Say sorry to Thomas for me. I didn't mean to leave_ _without saying goodbye. And Maggie... dearest Maggie._

_She knew about us before we really did... And she never told._

 

                        _Finally, I'm sorry about the trouble I'll cause. You'll have_ _to find a new Gamekeeper, after all. I left the plans for_

_the Spring games in the games room._

 

                        _All my love, James._

 

 

Sebastian didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to _feel_. Part of him felt upset. He felt like his heart was being crushed between a fist. Then another part of him was just... so _mad_. So bloody angry. How hadn't he seen that Severin was doing that? It was obvious, now he thought about it. How much time Severin was around Jim... It certainly wasn't because he had to be. God, Sebastian knew what his brother could be like, and he hadn't even thought... Then came relief that Jim wasn't going to tell about the body. He'd panicked at first, knowing Jim had found it, but after reading those words... something in him knew that Jim was telling the truth. He wasn't going to tell anyone... Sebastian was safe.

He let out a shaky breath, shaking himself out of it.

No. No, he couldn't be self pitying now. He couldn't feel that relief... Jim was in trouble. How Jim had expected Sebastian to ignore the fact that someone was after him, he didn't know...

He swallowed, setting the note down somewhere to dry out, before heading out of the room and straight through the stables towards the house.

"Everything alright, Seb?" Severin asked from the table as Sebastian entered through the door.

Sebastian stopped, looking around to him. He barely checked to see if anyone else was there before he had his brother by the lapels of his jacket and was shoving him straight up against the wall.

"You fucking arsehole. How fucking _dare_ you do that to Jim." He spat, face barely inches from Severin's face. All he felt for this man in that moment was pure hatred. Pure, burning hate for this man who had hurt Jim... hurt the man he... he truly did care about...

"I could say the same thing to you." Severin scoffed, shoving at Sebastian and making him stumble back. "You broke his ickle, diddy heart, leaving it in tatters on the floor because he was lying for his fucking _safety_." he growled.

"What?" Sebsatian asked, the anger still seething through him, even in his confusion.

 "Oh, please. You read the papers. The Moriartys? It's been found that the fire was caused by someone. Someone that Jim managed to majorly piss off. Wouldn't you lie about your name? Why the fuck do you think he was here to _work?!_ God, Seb. I know you can be smart, but at times, you're bloody dim."

 Sebastian was left standing there in shock... he hadn't remembered seeing those. Eventually, his tongue darted out to wet his lip and he looked up to his brother.

 "Just stay away from me, and him." he said darkly, before pushing past him to go and get changed to head out. He could hardly go and save Jim dressed in a suit now, could he?

 Sebastian had no idea where he would look, or whether Jim was even still in the country... but he had to find him. It couldn't be too hard to find a young boy with dark hari... with a bloody striking purple bruise on his cheek, could it?

 Once he was dressed a little more appropriately - more like a lower class man, too - he went to the gamekeepers hut. He grabbed one of the pistols, loaded it up and slipped it into the back of his trousers, then picked up a knife just in case as well, sliding that into his boot.

Finally, he was ready. With no explanation to anyone, he headed out of the house and straight out onto the road, making his way towards the nearby town.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's on the search for jim, and Jim is going through a hell of a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT WAS THE WORST CASE OF WRITERS BLOCK (and a side of laziness and procrastination) THAT I'VE EVER HAD.
> 
> Ughh. 
> 
> I've had an idea for the sequel and two other fanfictions all floating about in my mind for weeks, and I couldn't fr the life of me get anything written for this..  
> But I've managed. 
> 
> So I shall give myself a big gold star.
> 
> I'm really sorry about the wait, guys... On the plus side there's only 2/3 chapters left, so who knows... it could be done by christmas ;P Then sequel time! (I'm already backing up chapters, so hopefully my laziness won't affect that)
> 
> Once again, comments and Kudos are really appreciated <3 Really :3 They give me motivation. *hint*

_Jim_

 

He'd tried to make a run for it. He'd tried to get to the nearest dock and onto the next boat, but he'd barely made it two streets away before that plan was torn to shreds. 

 

At first it had just been a slightly-too-hard brush past from someone passing in a deep black coat - That in itself was so cliché that Jim just brushed it off as being ridiculous and his own mind playing tricks on him. The next street, though, made him realise how wrong he'd been. In fact, he had barely turned the corner before he walked face first into the very man he was trying to avoid. He was almost twice the size of Jim... And he was just the bodyguard. Sure, he was far more dangerous physically, but he knew the man he was just about to be taken to was far worse.

 

This man had the same thought processes as Jim, more or less. He had the psychotic thoughts and the urge to kill and destroy whenever the mood took him. The thing that this other man lacked, however, was Jim’s ability to switch that off if he needed to.

 

Where this man was in life – running a business in crime – was where Jim wanted to be, and Jim knew very well that if he had any hope of reaching that standard he’d have to learn to be brutal. He couldn’t fall for temporary employers… And he needed to bring this man down. So in truth, it couldn’t have been a more perfect opportunity. He was still exceedingly pissed off at Sebastian which made his temper far more violent, and this man had more or less invited Jim straight to him.

 

Now, if only he could get out of these ropes.

 

He’d never understood people that used ropes, Jim thought to himself briefly. They were so easy to cut through and pull out of. Steel and chains were so much sturdier… but that thought was quickly cut off by a sharp stabbing pain in his thigh.

 

He growled around the gag rather than letting out a scream, refusing to give them the satisfaction that they’d caused him that much pain. Anyone might’ve thought that screaming would make them stop far sooner… but Jim knew better. No matter whether he stayed deadly silent or screamed and begged, he knew it wouldn’t stop.

 

“Aw, come on Jimmy… I know you’ve got it in you. I know you can let out a cute little scream for daddy.” The man before him grinned. “Just let it out… let it out for Charlie.”

 

Jim just glared straight at him, trembling at the pain flowing through him. He’d had his fair share of pain in the past hours. With what he’d estimated to be three broken bones, a black eye, cuts everywhere, bruises to match those cuts and now a stab wound in his thigh… He wasn’t doing too well on the blood front, but he’d avoided screaming this entire time, and he wasn’t about to pass out on them now.

 

Charlie smirked as Jim glared, hand closing around the handle of the knife. With one swift, sharp movement, he twisted the knife 180 degrees around, ripping a yelp from Jim’s throat that was muffled by the gag.

 

“Sorry? What was that?” Charlie cooed, yanking the blade out and causing him to let out another grunt. He lifted the blood covered blade and shoved it between the material and Jim’s cheek, leaving a nice deep gash, then pulled towards himself and cutting the gag free.

 

“Fuck off.” Jim spat at him, quickly licking his dry lips, tasting the dried blood that had pooled there from his nose.

 

Charlie rose his eyebrow at that, and the knife went straight back into the same wound – only far deeper this time.

 

This time, Jim couldn’t really hold too much back. He let out another cry which was just verging on the scream that Charlie was looking for, hands clenching behind his back.

 

As fast as they’d clenched, someone behind him yanked them apart again, wrapping barbed wire around the skin to stop him from doing it again.

 

“Nu-uh. Can’t have you tensing up like that on us, can we? You were doing so well at hiding it…”

 

Jim just looked at him this time, but then that knife twisted, his hands clenched and there was another sharp pain to the back of his neck where a needle of some sort of serum was injected, keeping Jim fully awake.

 

The scream that ripped through him at the sudden overwhelming pain made his voice crack and break in places, and his tearful eyes took in the smirk of satisfaction that each man before him now had plastered all over their sweaty, dirt covered faces.

 

__

 

_**Sebastian** _

**Sebastian had been wandering the town for hours. He’d checked every possible dock, checked all of the passenger lists and checked every alleyway he came across. He was starting to lose track of where he had and hadn’t been.**

**He didn’t know where to look.**

**So on a whim, he bought a map of London and found himself sitting in a fairly dingy pub, looking over it and crossing out every place he’d been, and circled any of the possible places he still had to look.**

**It would take him days.**

**Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, rubbing his eyes on the way back down and let out a frustrated breath through his nose.**

**This was all his fucking fault… but he wasn’t going to stop looking until he found him, whether he had to go over to Ireland or not.**

**He looked to the map again, rubbing his forehead. Where would Jim go? Or… Where would someone take him? Fuck… he really should have better knowledge of his home town…**

**“Hey, gorgeous.” A voice purred from his left.**

**He looked up to see a woman standing there and he just rose his eyebrow.**

**“Not in the mood. Move along.” He grumbled, looking straight back down at the map.**

**She smirked a little to herself, setting down a glass full of beer, then with her pinkie, quickly tapped a place on the map, leaving a red smudge, before running that same hand over his shoulders as she moved past.**

**“Alright honey, maybe next time.” She called back to him, continuing on.**

**Sebastian’s eyes, of course, immediately went to the red splodge. It was clearly lipstick, so it didn’t take much just to scratch it off enough to see where it was placed.**

**Well… if that was a brothel, they’d certainly heightened their standards. He swallowed, looking to the drink briefly, then to her just as she looked back at him with a wink.**

**It was a trap, clearly.**

**But one that hopefully had Jim at the end of it.**

**So, he finished off the drink that he himself had ordered, folding up the map and tucking it into his pocket messily, then leaving a tip on the table, headed out into the cold London air.**

**__**

_Jim_

 

Another two hours past, the drug the only thing keeping Jim there and awake. His hands and wrists were cut up and had left a pool of blood on the floor. He was pale… barely able to sit up and slumping against the bonds. Even the adrenaline coursing through him wouldn’t really be able to keep him awake for much longer… or alive for that matter.

 

“Oh, come on Jimmy, we’re just getting started!” Charlie chimed, hand falling down to hit Jim hard around the face again – simple, but it was keeping him awake and alert while another of his men was carving at Jim’s back.

 

The words ‘Freak’ and ‘Whore’ were carved clearly in block capitals, deep and more than likely going to scar if they weren’t treated soon.

 

His screams were barely even screams anymore… just pathetic little whimpers through chapped, blood covered lips.

 

Charlie rolled his eyes, slapping him once more before gripping his hair and pulling his head up harshly to look at him.

 

“You really wanna be the King, Jimmy? You wanna be where I am? No King _whimpers_. God, you’re pathetic.” He scoffed, spitting straight onto his face before motioning at the other men in the room to leave. “Lunch break for us, Jimmy boy. I bet you’d like that… some lunch. Maybe just a nice, cold glass of water… We have that too.” He grinned, squeezing at his hair tightly, before shoving his head down again and heading out with his men.

 

Jim decided then that he was going to die before they could come back. He closed his eyes and slowly took inventory of everything… all of the injuries, how much blood he’d lost, how many bones were broken now – probably something like 10? Possibly more. Some bigger than others. He rolled his head forward, letting it hang there, breathing slowing down a little.

 

He was about to give in… to drop off and never have to worry again… but he heard a slight scraping sound, then the feel of the barbed wire being unwrapped ever so carefully from his hands. Then came the sound of the rope finally coming apart and his hands fell forward to his sides again. He slumped forward completely, being caught by another set of hands as the rope at his legs was untied too.

The last thing he noticed was a blanket being wrapped around him before he finally let himself pass out.

__

 

_**Sebastian** _

**Despite the nerves coursing through him and his mind telling him over and over that he was no bloody secret agent and that him thinking he could even possibly get Jim out of there was the most ludicrous thing anyone could think of, he eventually turned up at the place.**

**His eyes took in the plush building, but despite how amazing it looked outside, it was clear that there was no one in… Or at least, that no one lived there anymore. He took a deep breath, before adjusting the knife and gun and heading inside… But was stopped just inside the door.**

**He was about to fight back but he got a flash of those deep red lips and green eyes and he immediately froze.**

**“What the fuck?!” He hissed at her, going with her as she pulled him into a dip in the wall.**

**“Shush.” She whispered back at him, slipping a key into his hand. “I used to work here… Relax… I know my way around. I heard Charlie talking about Jim… and I heard him teasing about you. Wasn’t a hard leap… I’ve been following you.”**

**Sebastian blinked in complete surprise. This was… too much for him. Too fucking much.**

**This was just too… perfect. Too well played out and it was ridiculous. Who in their right mind would leave their manor in search for a boy who didn’t even want to be there, find out that he was in fact currently being tortured – or at least, that’s what it sounded like from the screams echoing down the hallway – and actually find him that easily – with someone who knew their way around? There was obviously something else going on, but for now Sebastian decided to go along with it. Besides, even if it turned out that this was some elaborate plan to kill both Sebastian and Jim, at least he’d be in there with Jim and at least had a shot at getting them both out.**

**So as they moved through the building, silent with guns in their hands, Sebastian felt his adrenaline running high. The closest thing he’d done to this was an adventure weekend when he was younger where they had to pretend to break into somewhere. That, and perhaps burying the dead body in the garden all those months ago now…**

**That dead body that led him to Jim…**

**It seemed like forever before he heard the door to the room they were heading for open and close again. He swallowed thickly, before quickly following the still nameless woman into their destination.**

**The first thing he noticed when he entered the room was the overwhelming smell of something metallic. It stung at his nostrils, making his eyes water as he stepped further in. It was the same metallic smell he’d smelt upon the death of the stable boy… Only this time, the blood was clearly Jim’s.**

**When he caught sight of the state of him, Sebastian’s stomach lurched and his heart felt like it could break from his chest one moment, and constrict on itself and disappear into nothing the next.**

**While the woman worked at untying Jim’s hands… Sebastian went to Jim’s front and caught him when he fell. She pulled a thin blanket from her bag, wrapping it around Jim once his legs were free, and they were off again.**

**It was too easy, he knew that.**

**Far too easy.**

**Painfully easy.**

**So when they got outside without a hitch, he really should’ve worked out that something was about to go wrong.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, PS. This wasn't betad... or even proof read, really. So if you spot something, please do let me know :)


	22. -Authors Note-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an authors note, sorry :/

Right... So there's not much to really say here except a huge apology. I know in my last chapter I said I had the next chapter in the works already, and that it should be up within a week... and clearly, it's been so much longer than that. University work has logged me down, and I made the mistake of trying to do NaNoWriMo this year, and it just feels like I'm constantly writing and working and I never really get out, but then there's lots of personal issues as well and it's gotten to the point where I'm a little overwhelmed.   
This isn't me saying that this story won't be finished. Because, it will. It definitely will, and hopefully I'll have a chapter with you soon. This is just me asking all of you amazing, lovely people just to bear with me for a week or two while I try and get through the pile of stuff I have to do. This is within my top five tasks, so it should be done soon.   
Once again, I'm so sorry for the wait, and I'm sorry if I got you all excited with this :/


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT A FALSE ALARM! Woooo! :D   
> So... I put off coursework for this... (Don't feel bad. It was doing my bloody head in) and finally got something done! Of course, there are bound to be mistakes and I'm pretty sure this sounds rushed but I had absolutely no plan on how to do this chapter.   
> Before anyone asks - there's not a chapter missing. I skipped the action deliberately because I just couldn't seem to write it ^^'' I think it worked though...   
> This is also sort of the final chapter.   
> There will be an epilogue! And the sequel ties in directly to this one and any loose ends should be tied up in that one! :D 
> 
> (If you want to point out anything to me that I haven't tied up, go ahead and tell me in the comments because it's quite possible that I've missed something! :) )  
> So yeah!   
> I hope this was worth the wait!

_Jim_

It took a good week and a half for Jim to wake up.

Although the hospital would have been the best place for him, Sebastian really didn’t trust the hospital to keep Jim safe and so the boy had been set up in Sebastian’s very own bedroom, attached to whatever contraptions were needed to help him recover. The open wounds were cleaned daily – the nurse would clean out those on his back, legs and arms and Maggie would help where necessary, but Sebastian had taken it upon himself to clean off Jim’s cheeks and hands as carefully and thoroughly as he could.

It felt almost intimate without being too much. He couldn’t decide for himself whether or not Jim would want him to help – to see parts of his body that he’d only seen once before, touch parts of him that Jim would only let people he truly and deeply trusted touch. He highly doubted he counted as one of those anymore.

So he stuck to the touches that were entirely innocent, even to an onlooker. Resting a hand atop James’ couldn’t be too bad, surely? Most men would do that with family or a lover, but James… Well, he was more than both. He was a friend – a best friend, despite what had happened.

It was while Sebastian was cleaning one of Jim’s hands that the younger man had begun to wake up. His hand twitched in Sebastian’s light grasp but that was all for that moment. It was enough to catch Sebastian’s attention though and his head immediately snapped up to look.

“R- Jim?” Sebastian said quietly, not wanting to alert anyone just yet… He wanted a few moments with him at least, if this really was him waking up. He’d been up for too many hours waiting for Jim to wake up to miss this now despite how selfish that made him seem.

Jim’s eyelids were twitching with the attempt to open, but each time they opened they would soon close quickly, the light being too much for Jim all at once. It took a minute or two – a minute of two of Sebastian sitting on the edge of his chair, eyes wide as he watched Jim, not wanting to rush him but hoping and praying with all that he was that he would be okay.

It was a good few minutes before his eyes finally opened fully and blearily focused in on Sebastian – but only just.

“S-Se-…”

“Hey, hey… Shh. It’s okay.” Sebastian said softly, standing just enough to pull his chair closer by a hand between his legs, before sitting back down and taking Jim’s hand properly and carefully. “Don’t strain yourself.”

“Wh-What happened? I… I thought… I was dea-…”

“No.” Sebastian quickly cutting him off, not wanting to hear that word. It had been so close for so long and he just didn’t want to think about it. “I… Me and… a woman. We found you.”

“A woman?”

“Yeah…”

-.-.-.-

_The gun shots fired across the street after the woman and Sebastian carrying Jim. He kept the smaller man close to his chest, refusing to have him hurt any more. She struggled with the handle to the backseat of the car, growling. It was a stupid idea anyway… Motor cars were hardly the speediest of things – at least, his one wasn’t. This one could be completely different, who knew?_

_He shook himself out of that brief train of thought, looking around for an escape._

_“That way!”_

_The woman looked to him, then the direction he was looking all in barely a second and within another second, she was sprinting in that direction. It was a struggle, running with Jim in his arms, but he didn’t much fancy getting shot so he battled on._

_They reached the alley just off to the side where Sebastian carefully set Jim down, still wrapped up tightly in the blankets and turned to the other figure._

_“What do we do?”_

_“Keep running?” She suggested, breathing pretty heavily._

_“Where?”_

_“How far is your home?”_

_“We can’t go back there! My parents are there and-“_

_“Right, yeah… fuck.” She breathed out, glancing around the alleyway and another shot went off. She stumbled back, huffing a bit. “My home isn’t too far away.”_

_“Alright, let’s just go.” Sebastian stammered, moving to pick Jim up again carefully and cradled him close, waiting until the woman had started to move._

_“I’m Sebastian, by the way.” He blurted as they were running, figuring it might be a good idea she knew in case she had to identify his body… which was seeming more and more likely._

_She smirked, looking to him as she guided him across a fairly crowded street, ignoring any gasps or alternate reactions to Jim’s state._

_“Irene Adler.”_

_-.-.-.-_

“Just… any woman?” Jim asked, voice croaky but he wanted to know what was going on.

“She used to work for the man who captured you…”

“So you just… let her help you?”

“Sh-she seemed pretty driven against them…” Sebastian answered, frowning a little at Jim. “Please, stop… She knew where you were and she got you out… Then let me bring you back home without asking where I lived. I’m fairly sure we’ll be fine.”

“I… I can’t trust that, Sebastian. It’s perfectly possible she knows… a-and they know where I am anyway. There was a note…” Jim said simply, eyes closing as he swallowed thickly. He winced a bit as he shifted in bed, sighing as he tried to settle back own.

“What do you suggest, then?” Sebastian said softly, watching his own thumb brushing lightly over the back of Jim’s hand. There was a light frown on his face, but he tried not to let it show too much.

“I need to go.”

That caught Sebastian’s full attention again. He looked up at Jim and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Go… where?”

“Away from here… anywhere. Back to Ireland, maybe? It’s not too late to sort out my affairs at home… I’ll just heal up here enough to travel and get going as soon as I can. Could you organise a ferry ticket for me?”

“No… No chance. You’re not leaving here until you’re well again… not alone, anyway.”

“It’s not like anyone’s around to go with me, Sebastian. My parents are dead… my brother’s missing. I have no one.”

“You have me.”

Jim’s lips parted to answer, but just as he went to speak, he processed what Sebastian had just said. He… had Sebastian. Sebastian… was there for him? It didn’t make sense. Not with how Sebastian had treated him – with how Jim had lied to Sebastian.

“This is your home, Sebastian. I can’t take you away from that for the sake of getting away from some men that should’ve killed me anyway.”

“It’s not much of a home if you’re not there. Severin’s a dick anyway and my parents are leaving again in a few days.” He explained with a light shrug. “It’d actually be a miracle for me if you’d let me come with you. We could… get your affairs in order together. We could make a home… We’d have to lie about our intentions, of course, but behind closed doors, no one needs to know what we do.”

“Seb-“

“Please don’t argue…”

“I... I’m not.” Jim said quietly, watching the other man closely, trying to work out for himself whether he actually meant what he was saying or not – whether he actually wanted to go to Ireland with him. “It’s not just my family… It’s my work, too. The kind of work that got me into the situation I’m in now..”

“We-…” Sebastian started, wincing as he looked back down to Jim’s hands. “We can work through it. We can work it out.”

“I can… But can you? You’re… You’re a gentleman, Sebastian, and a proper one at that. I mean… sure, you’ve done some things that are… a little less gentlemanly, but it’s more than I can say for myself. I caused the death of my parents and the burning down of one of our family estates. I’ve lost my brother, whether that be to his running away or another reason and I’ve made no truly conscious effort to look for him. My line of work rests in the criminal ranks… I’m nowhere near worthy of the power and responsibility that my name alone gives me. The Moriarty’s are respectable, well-meaning people. They aren’t little gay boys who fail at everything and fuck up everything they touch. They’re well behaved and they do everything that a family such as they are should be.”

“Well, you’re just an anomaly, then. But, for all intents and purposes, you are the Lord of the establishment, Jim, and you need to get back there and fix things and I refuse to let you get too far out of my sight again. Not while they’re around. So I’m coming with you no matter how much you argue.”

Jim was quiet for a long while after that. The silence dragged on and on through the seconds, then the minutes. In fact, it was actually five minutes of the two of them just looking at each other and Sebastian stroking Jim’s hand but it gave them both time to take in what had just been said; what they would be getting themselves into.

It would be a life of secrets and sneaking around. It would be a life of rebuilding what Jim had lost and establishing something for Sebastian over in Ireland. It would be a life of difficult business and adjusting to that lifestyle. It would be a life of no families, no wives, no children; it was a life full of just each other.

It was as those thoughts moved about Jim’s head that he finally cracked a smile and looked up at the man before him.

“Then you shall come with me.”

Six words were all it took to have a matching smile spread across Sebastian’s face as the realisation set in and he leaned straight down to kiss Jim softly but firmly. Jim, despite the pain it caused in the cut on his cheek and the split lip he sported, kissed back with just as much fervour – well, at least he did for the few seconds it was able to last.

As with most of their encounters would be for the following two weeks of organising and packing, they were interrupted by two figures walking in. Sebastian had just managed to sit back down in time to avoid getting caught that time. There would be close shaves to come – including one slightly-too-raunchy instance where Jim had to blame his breathlessness on his recovery – but each one would leave a grin on either man’s face and would just add to the ever growing excitement and enthusiasm for what their future in Ireland would hold.


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So that was it, guys :) Some of you may be happy to know I'm working on the sequel (set in WW1) and it should be up soonish while I have the time to write chapters :) I hope you enjoyed this!   
> Any last comments and such would be amazing, but even without them I really do appreciate every single person that's read this. It makes me think, even for a moment, that writing is worth it.

Jim looked out at the water flowing out behind the boat, the only evidence aside from the calm rising and falling that would suggest they were moving. For the middle of the sea, it was surprisingly calm today... almost mocking. Things weren't nearly this calm on land. Not really.

"What do you think it'll be like?" Jim asked as a hand met his waist, eyes distant and voice quiet.

"Muddy. Dangerous." Sebastian answered easily, sliding his other hand around to meet the first at Jim's stomach.

Jim hummed his agreement, sighing as he relaxed back into the man's embrace, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

"Do you think we'll come back?"

The question hung in the silence between them, the only sound the soft lapping of water against the boat. It was a loaded question. There was no knowing. There was every chance they would return; But there was also every chance that neither, or only one of them would return and so Sebastian wasn't quite sure how to answer. He didn't know whether Jim wanted the truth, or comfort, so in the end he kissed his neck lightly.

"We'll try to."

That seemed to answer Jim's question well enough and the smaller of the two spun around to look at him properly, leaning back against the railing of his private boat.

"We'll look after each other." he grinned brightly up at him, leaning to peck his lips as Sebastian chuckled at him at the same time.

"Of course we will." Sebastian answered once that kiss had broke, leaving Jim content. "Now  c'mon , you need some rest before we reach land."

It was with barely any resistance at all that Jim let Sebastian lead him below deck, fingers linking in with the taller man's, taking what he could from their last calm moments.

After all, the war was waiting for them on land.

 


End file.
